Hopman

Lowing perhaps???

The county boundary used to be at the bottom of the hill. What you want might have been in Derbyshire at one point.

"Moments of Time" by Phamie Gow. Probably the next big thing to be discovered by Classic FM.

Billy Smart's Circus came to Sheffield (Devonshire Green, I think) early November 1961.

Do you mean Arthur Harrison Griffin?

Mozart Quartet for flute and strings off the new Ensemble 360 album!

Danville Street was damaged by the German Navy in WW1.

The planned merger between the Departments of Advanced Alliteration and Spomplex Coonerisms has been put on hold. In a Press Release put out by the Head of the Faculty Humphrey von Krötenstein declared: "I can solemnly state that these plans will not fear bruit. Initial indications suggested that there was a mossibilty of perger, not just with the two designated departments, but with the Division of Clackneyed Hichés. I can categorically confirm that mo nergers will take place - wot on my natch. Any pernicious planning for Academic Amalgamation will take place over my bed dody." Please note no animals were harmed in the testing of these spoonerisms.

From the Students' Handbook 2006-2007 edition. Please note that if attending what is termed a "Pea and Pie Supper", this refers to the custom of serving vegetables with the said pie. Should you wish to wash your hands before the meal, use the washbasin, please. Religious observance. It is hoped that visitors will place gifts of money in the boxes inside churches marked "For the sick". I know there has been some confusion on these matters.

With the new batch of students trying to enrol at the Central University, it is not uncommon to see certain students walking round with what look to be lengths of cable. I enquired from one such student just what it was, to be told that it was a phoneless cord which he'd purchased from a man with a carrier bag. Do we need our universities full of such gullible people?

Is there anything there which can give any info? Any old photos on the walls, that sort of thing?

Far be it for me to criticise Lord C in his quest to ban pedestrians, but there are plans to introduce a new course next autumn which may be of interest. The course which leads to a Diploma in Ambulatory Studies, will enable students to increase their walking skills. In the first year they will learn how to walk in a straight line, initially on pavements, but later the most gifted will be stepping out on the roads around the University. For reasons of safety, each walker will be preceded by a slow moving car carrying a red flag to warn other road users. Initial trials using a red and white flag have proved that it is possible in many cases to affix such a flag to vehicles. If you see a vehicle carrying one of the flags, then there may be a trainee pedestrian behind it. If by any chance you see a flag bedecked car going in reverse, then the driver has probably lost his pedestrian. Any attempt at interference may result in disqualification, so please do not attempt to re-unite any aimless looking pedestrians with a vehicle.

You don't seriously think that luggage gets lost on its own, do you?

With the holiday season nearly upon us, we should soon see the effects of employing our latest graduates from the Random Suitcase & Luggage Studies course. As you are no doubt aware, the purpose of this course is to broaden people's minds to exotic foreign locations. Students spend three years reading luggage labels on suitcases in order to be able to send the luggage to a destination other than the one on the label. Since this year's graduates are the first batch to be employed at airports, we can only expect the mis-direction to European Airports, but it is hoped that in future luggage will be sent to the wrong continents. Passengers will find it entertaining and educational looking on maps to see just which exotic location their luggage has visited. The combined course of Random Suitcase & Luggage Studies together with Professor Lord C's Medical Course has chalked up one success already. A Mr Owen, en route to Newcastle from Germany is the first of many to benefit from this course. There have been reports that his knee has gone awol, although no dates have been suggested for recovery.

If you play a country and western CD backwards, does the dog have a miraculous resurrection and your wife return home?

Does anyone remember going to see Pegasus Theatre Group in the 1970s? They used to give three shows a year 2 at the Merlin and 1 at the Library in the summer, as well as having a touring production which went round the Infant schools.

Is it my imagination, or has the establishment been tardy in reopening after the Christmas season?

I'm sure that we all wish well to anyone with some Sheffield connection.

Currently listening to Delius's Appalachia so I'll know it well before hearing it live next month.

Would it not be better to replace the traditional cap and gown with a baseball cap and a sweatshirt? I like the idea of combining the Department of Political Science with the Department of Trading at the site further down the River Don. This should be suitable for training all those politicians who sell us down the river.

The idea of combining the medical side with the English facility is a bold one to create the world's first Department of Anagrammatical Anatomy. I hope future funding will be found so that the transplant programme can continue. See the recent Press Release for more details: "There have been viler and dinkey transplants in the past, we want to do arthe transplants, but such operations cost a mar and a gel." The corridors will soon resound to the song of the department: "I've got you under my niks..."

Will the BSc in Hard Sums include subtraction, or will this noble subject find its way into the department of Oriental Studies where take aways compete for funding alongside Origami and Sudoku?

Will it be possible to apply for funding (with a view to military production) to investigate why light from the red part of the spectrum causes muscular paralysis as evidenced by the number of cases where, when bathed in red light, drivers seem transfixed and unable to move either foot towards a brake pedal?

There wouls appear to be a great need for more accurate spelling, so maybe we could ask on the forum if there are any Wiccans out there who would like to contribute to the Faculty of Spelling. Sheffield needs to be at the cutting edge of food technology in view of its rich cutlery tradition. Hence the need for more advanced catering courses... Perhaps some food company could set up a sponsorship deal. Would Knorr be interested? The combined diploma could be designated as the Knorr and Spell Diploma.

One more websit which may be of interest; http://www.ukfoodguide.net/bestavoided.htm#