Advice please about friendships!

Hi, I would like some advice on something. I used to be friend’s with a girl I lived with for 3 years at uni however in 2009 we broke up and the friendship ended. I decided to cut all ties with the same circle of friends we had (by that I no longer met up with them). However recently one of the friends from the circle contacted me out of the blue and I haven’t spoke to her for 2 years. She sent me an email see below:

Hi, how are you? It’s been awhile since we spoke. I take it your doing a masters in hr. I finished last September, then been hunting for jobs at home, couldn't find one, so moved to Doha. Just living with my dad out here, and making friends with a lot of expats. I'm enjoying it here, I've been here 6 months and loving it, I don't really miss UK, apart from family and friends. Just been offered a job out here as an admin assistant, as you need a lot of experience to move into hr out here, so I'm taking the first step on the ladder. A few jobs I will be doing could cater for hr. I'm now waiting for my contract and my labour card to allow me to work here. So, what have you been up to since we last spoke. I see your wearing glasses now, you look very nice in them by the way.

I have not told any of the people from the same circle of friends anything about my life plans and what I have been up to. This so called friend if I can call her that “said I take it you are doing HR?” But how did she know I am doing HR? I haven’t told anyone? To be frank I don’t care what she has been up to so I don’t know why she has contacted me apart from acting like a messenger for the girl who I used to be friends with. I do not want to reply to her message and I am worried because before our friendship ended I knew she was doing HR as well but I never told her my exact plans, I feel we may bump into each other due to networking events in HR? Perhaps I am getting paranoid. What do people make of this situation?

Thanks

she's either turned into a psychotic stalker who is going to murder you with a stapler or she is someone who just wanted to say hi to an old friend from uni. it's something i think about doing every so often (contacting old uni friends not becoming a psychotic stalker) and we haven't had much contact for 25 years.

while the first option is more entertaining it's probably the second one.

as far as knowing what you are up to then she may have got that info from facebook, twitter or one of the other stalker networking sites or possibly from someone who is in contact with both of you.

i really wouldn't get worked up about this, either ignore the email or send a cool but polite reply. i'd tend towards a cool but polite reply but thats just me.

Hi, I would like some advice on something. I used to be friend’s with a girl I lived with for 3 years at uni however in 2009 we broke up and the friendship ended. I decided to cut all ties with the same circle of friends we had (by that I no longer met up with them). However recently one of the friends from the circle contacted me out of the blue and I haven’t spoke to her for 2 years. She sent me an email see below:

 

Hi, how are you? It’s been awhile since we spoke. I take it your doing a masters in hr. I finished last September, then been hunting for jobs at home, couldn't find one, so moved to Doha. Just living with my dad out here, and making friends with a lot of expats. I'm enjoying it here, I've been here 6 months and loving it, I don't really miss UK, apart from family and friends. Just been offered a job out here as an admin assistant, as you need a lot of experience to move into hr out here, so I'm taking the first step on the ladder. A few jobs I will be doing could cater for hr. I'm now waiting for my contract and my labour card to allow me to work here. So, what have you been up to since we last spoke. I see your wearing glasses now, you look very nice in them by the way.

 

I have not told any of the people from the same circle of friends anything about my life plans and what I have been up to. This so called friend if I can call her that “said I take it you are doing HR?” But how did she know I am doing HR? I haven’t told anyone? To be frank I don’t care what she has been up to so I don’t know why she has contacted me apart from acting like a messenger for the girl who I used to be friends with. I do not want to reply to her message and I am worried because before our friendship ended I knew she was doing HR as well but I never told her my exact plans, I feel we may bump into each other due to networking events in HR? Perhaps I am getting paranoid. What do people make of this situation?

 

Thanks

I think you might be a little paranoid. Honestly, no offence meant by that. It sounds like she's just trying to get in touch. She might be feeling a bit isolated and lonely.....

There could be a 1001 ways she heard you are doing HR. She might be using it as a genuine common ground to get talking.

Did you get on with this girl in the past?

I think you might be a little paranoid. Honestly, no offence meant by that. It sounds like she's just trying to get in touch. She might be feeling a bit isolated and lonely.....

 

There could be a 1001 ways she heard you are doing HR. She might be using it as a genuine common ground to get talking.

 

Did you get on with this girl in the past?

I did although I found towards the end our vaules no longer matched and since breaking up with my friend she has been a sheep in not bothering to contact me unless she wants gossip to pass on to this friend.

You are way over reacting. She has sent you a pleasant chatty message asking how you are. There doesn't appear to be any kind of undercurrent, it is very straight forward.

Obviously you don't have any particular desire to be in contact so the only thing you need to do is press delete and forget you ever got it. It's very trivial, why are you having such a strop about it? Going onto a forum and having a hissy fit about something so innocous is monumentally childish.

In addition do you make a habit of reproducing private and personal emails on the internet? I hate to say it but you sound like rather a nasty person if something so innocous makes you react like this.

In the process of completing a Masters degree and confuses "you are" with "your". Stay well away !

You are way over reacting. She has sent you a pleasant chatty message asking how you are. There doesn't appear to be any kind of undercurrent, it is very straight forward.

 

Obviously you don't have any particular desire to be in contact so the only thing you need to do is press delete and forget you ever got it. It's very trivial, why are you having such a strop about it? Going onto a forum and having a hissy fit about something so innocous is monumentally childish.

 

In addition do you make a habit of reproducing private and personal emails on the internet? I hate to say it but you sound like rather a nasty person if something so innocous makes you react like this.

FYI I edited most of that email to keep private details out and don't call me childish have you walked in my shoes to know what happened in that friendship didnt think so. I was depressed for 2 years so how dare you tell me I am overeacting I asked for advice not a personal attack to me!

I honestly think it sounds as though she's just catching up. Why don't you send her a polite message back & gently ask in a friendly sort of way "how did you know I'm in HR??"

Leave it - see if she persists, ask yourself how would she have reacted if you had contacted her out of the blue

You are way over reacting. She has sent you a pleasant chatty message asking how you are. There doesn't appear to be any kind of undercurrent, it is very straight forward.

 

Obviously you don't have any particular desire to be in contact so the only thing you need to do is press delete and forget you ever got it. It's very trivial, why are you having such a strop about it? Going onto a forum and having a hissy fit about something so innocous is monumentally childish.

 

In addition do you make a habit of reproducing private and personal emails on the internet? I hate to say it but you sound like rather a nasty person if something so innocous makes you react like this.

Do you work for the samaritans.