miniminch Posted November 9, 2006 Share Posted November 9, 2006 As some of you are more than aware I am still single. Yes, incredible isn’t it! Although, having said that, this year has been a little better on the dates front. Going on a date with a woman who didn’t dribble was a real winner and head and shoulders better than that woman who could only say the word ‘cress,’ which made ordering food in Auschwitz Horderves the new place in Ecclesall a nightmare. It probably is also clear that I am regarded highly on here with only the odd (and I do mean odd) few detractors who, to be quite frank, wouldn’t know about good taste if they were delivered a bright pink parcel at midnight and opened it to find a semi naked woman who popped out with the words ‘good’ and ‘taste’ tattooed on her breasts. And anyway I am far too mature to spat with the likes again. So I think I would like to give you the chance of a night of romance so thrilling it would be second only to a bungee jump from angel falls. I think I should tell you something about me. I’m single. I am a male in my thirties. I am NOT gay (although I do have a spring in my step come spring time) I have a GSOH. (although I have no idea what GSOH means but I bet mine is good) I enjoy reading, writing and lying unconsciously drunk in a pool of my own vomit on the weekend. A friend recently remarked that my drinking would make gazza look like a ‘big gerl’(sic) On occasion I can be cynical but that’s only because the world is a big pile of ****e and we’re all going to die!!! If I was an animal I would be an otter and I am a Sagittarius which means I’m hung like a horse. I have no bad habits if you don’t include the drinking smoking and occasional bouts of violence. To sum up I’m quite a catch and I invite all you ladies to audition for the part of my future wife! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
medusa Posted November 9, 2006 Share Posted November 9, 2006 I'm terribly sorry to say that since I don't plan on marrying again, I'll have to politely decline mini. I'm sure you'll survive my rejection eventually, if you have sufficient counselling. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jabberwocky Posted November 9, 2006 Share Posted November 9, 2006 `Ang on a sec... I`ll get me dress on! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Titian Posted November 9, 2006 Share Posted November 9, 2006 Tis such sweet sorrow when one seems to have found perfection in a possible mate, then to have all dreams cast aside like aspersions with the realisation that I am not female and you are not human....sigh Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
miniminch Posted November 9, 2006 Author Share Posted November 9, 2006 Tis such sweet sorrow when one seems to have found perfection in a possible mate, then to have all dreams cast aside like aspersions with the realisation that I am not female and you are not human....sigh you kept that quiet love, I mean mate. anyway your hands were a giveaway, you've got great big flapping hands like a goalkeeper! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
evildrneil Posted November 10, 2006 Share Posted November 10, 2006 you kept that quiet love, I mean mate. anyway your hands were a giveaway, you've got great big flapping hands like a goalkeeper! how dare you offend the honour of my beloved Titian - his hands DONT flap but flutter manfully! I demand satisfaction sir - I shall meet you at dawn and make good that vile slur! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Repunzel Posted November 10, 2006 Share Posted November 10, 2006 Ooooooh a date! I remember those. Hang on a minute.....if youre quite a catch, why do you need to advertise? I think youre fibbing!! What does everyone else think.....(I'm new to this site) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
samstar999 Posted November 10, 2006 Share Posted November 10, 2006 'Auschwitz Horderves' how funny (I assume you get MASSIVE portions!) Where? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
liam_s1 Posted November 10, 2006 Share Posted November 10, 2006 This thread is so cute. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
samc Posted November 10, 2006 Share Posted November 10, 2006 I would love to marry you Miniminch if you could me giggle as much in real life as on here, but sadly I have a smelly farty pants partner of my own. The future Mrs Miniminch will be in for a real treat and then you must prepare to have your mini-Miniminches. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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