Teenager diagnosed with depression , has been self harming

Oh my god, ive gone to my mums for the weekend and she has told me that my 15 year old brother was diagnosed with depression in april, after he was caught self harming himself at school. he was sat crying in the playground and two kids came up to him and asked him what he was doing, he said im doing this and showed them his arm.

he's been going with mum once a week for counselling and mum said he seems a lot better now. he stopped eating too apparently. its all so awful, i dont know what to do, fell like ive neglected him, and i should have known, ive just done all about depression and suicide etc for my university exam and im really scared that he will do something stupid now.

he told the doctor he just wanted it all to be over when he asked him why he'd done it, i feel so sorry for him, he must have felt so alone and i wasnt there. dont know what to do or how to help him.

can anyone relate to this? i know i felt pretty **** at times when i was his age, im twenty now and happier than ever, but i just think he must have felt so low to do it. please help.

hi, ive never had that sort of problem and cant give u much advice on what to do, but dont blame yourself for neglecting him, its not your fault u wasnt there u wasnt to know. all you can do is make sure u r there for him now. he might appreciate u talking to him about stuff. good luck and i hope he gets better

Hiya, it's not uncommon for young people to self-harm, don't beat yourself up about not being there, you can't always be there for everyone.

The reasons behind self-harming are complex as you will know, make sure your little bro knows you are there for him and you love him. If you're not around, try ringing him everyday, drop him a card in the post etc, all these little things help re-inforce that you are there for him and you always will be.

Has the Dr prescribed any medication for him? Seroxat is commonly prescribed but isn't always the best medication when someone is self-harming.

Self-harming can be an expression of wanting to feel something, even if it is pain, a way of proving you are still alive. It's also a way of demonstrating to people the pain you are feeling inside without having to say it out loud.

I really hope he gets all the help he needs

Aw, you sound like such a great older sibling!

I'm not going to say don't worry it's not your fault or don't beat yourself up about it, because you won't take the advice anyway.

I'm an older sister and sometimes you feel like the mother, I worry so much about my little sister, I often feel like I'm her protector!

I can't relate in such the same way, however, my sister has said things that sound almost like a plea for attention, she has said stuff and she has cuts on her arm that are 'from the cat' at first I didn't believe her but I do now.

At one point she kept saying she was blacking out at school but we were so worried because the cuts and bruises she got didn't correlate with falls.

Things seem to have calmed down now, but I was unsure and at one point thought she was being bullied rather than falling and such.

So although, it's not as serious as your little brother, I know what you mean to a certain extent and like I said, there's no point in saying 'don't beat yourself up about it' because however much you know deep down it's not really your fault, you will always have that little feeling of 'what could I have done?' because you're an older sibling.

So I have great sympathy for you and I hope that your brother recovers soon. Perhaps a good idea would be, if you're comfortable enough with him/her go to whoever it is you'd talk to at uni about your course, because if you've been studying, it they might be able to give you some advice on how to deal with a family member who has depression.

Best wishes.

Lottie

I know its not much but it might help a little.

Has your brother tried writing things down, in either a journal or letters to himself or others. Writing is such a good release and he can then burn the letters etc, so no-one else has to read them. Destroying the letters might also hold some therapy in itself.

Just a thought x

Thinking of you both. x

There is also a sort of national self harm support group,

thay are based in Bristol, but you can get in touch with them via phone, and I think (cant be 100% certain) by the net/ email

They have a phone helpline, open in the evenings.

my adopted sister and I both self-harm and they have been great to talk to.

maybe you could get in touch/ get him to get in touch with them?

it helps to talk to someone like them.

hope he can get sorted out soon; the teen years can be horrendous! XXXX

PT

At least he has been diagnosed with depression. Now they know he has a problem he can be treated. Depression in kids has only recently been accepted. I suffered with depression from an early age and was dismissed as a trouble causing, attention seeker, that was about as far from the truth as you could get!

Have you asked him why he wants to be older? I wanted to be older so I could get away from a school that I hated. I wasn't bullied by the other kids, it was the teachers that were the problem! Most of my teachers treated me like dirt - I don't know why, I think maybe it was because I was quiet & shy and easy to pick on.

Teenagers are frustrated because they feel they are old enough to make decisions about their own lives but are told they can't by adults. It is a very traumatic time for some of them.

Don't feel guilty for 'not being there'. If you get the chance the best thing you can do is talk to your brother on an 'adult level' and make him that his opinions and thoughts are important.

You sound like a very caring sibling:clap:

first of all, id like to say its pretty bad about your little brother, obviously something is going wrong somewhere for him to be doing this, but perhaps he wil grow out of it.

secondly..... i have to question your motives for coming on the forum with this? was it so you could find help for yourself? or you just wanted a bit of attentiion.

imagine the scenario, if your brother came on SF and saw this post from you, how happy do you think that would make him feel? like i say, not trying to jibe at you, just ant believe you would come on the forum sharing a story like that.

Just being ther when he needs you will help him more than any other treatment. Dont wait for him to ask you for something, you ask him, show him you care and want to help. These things are better out in the open than hid away now you know, you can help him. Ive had it and its no fun !!

secondly..... i have to question your motives for coming on the forum with this? was it so you could find help for yourself? or you just wanted a bit of attentiion.

you ask what the motives are for bringing this to the forum??

advice is free mate! and it sound like this kid needs it, how can you ask if this is for attention?? what you need is a wake up call mate, but dont ever get depressed, people might think you an attention freak!!!!

help those that need it and dont mock'em!