Jason Hinnel Posted June 4, 2008 Author Share Posted June 4, 2008 I think sometimes messages on here can be like text messages, they can appear not quite as meant. I have a couple of questions for adopteddanny, Is your name daniel and if so how old are you? These posts are great to share views and opinions cos thats why they exist, at times we may not like some of the replies but it's still interesting to hear all views. My big sis knows if Nicky had turned up out of the blue we would have been a bit at a loose end where to start to tell him things, and we both know no one else would have told him the truth so if he sees this it's good way for him to take it in at his own pace. By the way this is my sister who is very much like me to look at, And I always thought I was unique! And boy did I get a shock! Must be honest and see it feels like she's always been around and it's hard to remember back what it was like without her. We've had our differences of opinion but we are close enough to get over it. It would have been interesting us both growing up together. Anyone seen dinnerladies where Bren (victoria wood) says her mother put her in a orphanage and lost the address? That just about describes my past but it always makes me laugh and it's so damn true. Our foster family remember us all, she is 74 now and her husband died last year of cancer and has moved away from the area. Don't forget to answer my question danny! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jason Hinnel Posted June 5, 2008 Author Share Posted June 5, 2008 Hi danny, was just curious what age group you fit in to as you don't sound too young. Also being adopted yourself how would you feel if a brother or sister were to make contact with you through social services? Would you understand why the person had wanted to make contact with you? Would be great to have your thoughts on that. A general question for anyone that wants to answer, if you were on a site and found what you thought could be someone from your family what would you do? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
adopteddanny Posted June 5, 2008 Share Posted June 5, 2008 Can I just ask you Jason what your next move would be if you were to find Nicky was not ready at this time to search his past? would you still take a chance and make contact with him and risk rocking the boat? I would just say that I believe you would be a good brother to him and be there for him and support him through the many details he will find out which he may not be ready for. Clearly you stick with things and do not give up on people but I would ask your sister if she can hold up her hands and say yes you did do all the hard work with finding the truth and people in the family because for whatever reasons they had they didn't. I just wonder how manytimes you do the work and they rush in and be part of what you actually did so they don't miss out? It's good to know Nicky would have someone there to support him through what he will discover and I feel you would be quite sympathetic towards his family in everything too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jason Hinnel Posted June 5, 2008 Author Share Posted June 5, 2008 Hi danny, Thats all very interesting. I've always said if I knew he was okay but not ready yet I would back off and wait. The problem has to come down town to the fact that I would have to know it was Nicky who told me to back off as so far in my search I have come across a few people claiming they are or could be Nicky and it's not always easy to find out if any are true which is why some things I have found out about him havent been shared with anyone. The interesting thing is all he has to do is google his name and he will find me so I wonder if somewhere he is watching what I'm doing. Had anyone ever searched for me my parents here would have kept me away from anything that would have told me I was being looked up! Yes I do think it should be done when he's ready for it but if I have to contact him to find that out then I will eventually involve social services again and do it that way. It only takes them a week or so but I hoped to do it a different way or at least try it first. Thanks for your PM, Must be honest and say I thought for a minute there you were Nicky but I was wrong, however something tells me you know more than you're letting on so do you want to share it or shall I make a guess? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sandaz3 Posted June 5, 2008 Share Posted June 5, 2008 hi danny i am not the self centred bitch you think i am. i have a lot of problems in my life which are private i cannot put reasons for everything on here. yes i will put up my hands and say that jason did it all. happy. you would have to live my other brother and my life to know. i know you have formed your opinion on me and am pretty sure i know what it is but it doesn't really matter you see if nicky came back i would never turrn him away he probably would never want to meet me after reading all this which would be a shame. i am pretty sure meeting nicky face to face would help me in alot of ways. you know i used to wonder about them what they looked like if they were happy even if they were alive and then jason turned up and it was wonderful talking to him until he asked about his father and then i knew i knew nothing and asked mum finally she told me who he was and i was shocked. yes jason has opened my eye to loads that i never knew but he has the advantage he could push and get the answers he is very strong we were not brought up that way we didn't dare ask. you take care danny hope life treats you well.sandaz3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
adopteddanny Posted June 5, 2008 Share Posted June 5, 2008 Yes Jason you are very good at reading between the lines and since you asked an honest direct question \i will answer it. A member of our family was adopted in September 1974 and his birthdate is 21st November 1973, he has blue eyes and yes had bright ginger hair as a baby. Now at the moment we can't prove he is Nicky but as I mentioned earlier I have been following this and it does sound like he could be your brother. Now for the problem we may have, I can't tell you who he now is or mention to him he may have a brother looking for him but if it is of any help then at least you know he is okay. Any suggestions where we go next? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Squiggly Posted June 5, 2008 Share Posted June 5, 2008 Sorry to intrude on such a personal story but I have been fascinated by this thread and hope it all works out well for everyone concerned. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jason Hinnel Posted June 5, 2008 Author Share Posted June 5, 2008 Hi danny, Am I right in thinking you are female? Not quite sure what to say now! Will PM you in a bit to see if we can check some things. I'm pretty sure your last message will have come a surprise to a few including me but before we get carried away we do need to make sure and at the same time not put you in any difficult situations seeing as you can't be a go between to check certain things. If we assume it is Nicky though, that means he would know he is adopted and not yet at the point to do any searching so just as a rough starter how do you think he would react if Social Services were to contact him? Would it mess up his life or do I wait and see if he decides to look? I'm tempted to ask lots and lots of things but if I do it may end up in me rushing in to locate him when perhaps I should be waiting a little longer. If I did wait and he at some point decided to find out is there any way you could point him in the right direction or suggest he goes straight to Social Services as they will contact me the minute he asks to see his file. The main thing at the moment has to be do you know what his birth name was or is it just the dates and description that match? PM you after 7.30pm Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jason Hinnel Posted June 5, 2008 Author Share Posted June 5, 2008 Hi nibs, just glad people are still reading. I've had a lot of private messages since this all started and some say it is of help to them so can't be bad can it. Even if this turns out to be the wrong person who knows, maybe it will still help to find him, maybe there are who are following this who have been wondering if they could be or know about Nicky now so if there are why not say hi, you can always PM me if you prefer, I won't share anything publicly unless you want me to. Comments are always welcome at any time, good or bad so anyone feel free to add anything. Would be absolutely fantastic if it is Nicky and if not it proves sites like this do get read and results, even if they aren't quite what we want but why this is getting read and replies theres always a very good chance. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
doyle Posted June 5, 2008 Share Posted June 5, 2008 My heart jumped a little bit when I read Dannys post, I hope the family member is Nicky and that he will want to be reunited with you Jason and perhaps other family members. I think you have been a bit harsh on Sandra Danny, she must have had a pretty rough upbringing as well and probably hadnt had the tools to look for Nicky as Jason has. If it turns out to be Nicky, please dont judge her too bad. We would all have to walk a mile in someone elses shoes to know how they feel. I always give people the benefit of the doubt. Hope you don t mind me sticking my two penneth in. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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