What is love?

[DragonofAna]

I agree but how many other people does he say it to at the same time?

 

Without trust - what foundation is there for a relationship?

All are different I suppose, as I think Alien said earlier in the thread.

If things are that difficult now, and the trust not there, then how will it be in the future.

Everyone has a different story. But most people have experience of the pain.

[norks]

Anyway back to the original topic.

 

Love is ......sending loving texts to them when they are away because your heart is breaking that they cannot be close.

 

Love is waiting with bated breath for a reply that never comes then being heartbrokena all over again when you realise that they are just not that into you.

 

Love is loving yourself enough not to let yourself be hurt anymore.

 

Love is closing your heart to the world to protect your soul.

[norks]

Without trust - what foundation is there for a relationship?

All are different I suppose, as I think Alien said earlier in the thread.

If things are that difficult now, and the trust not there, then how will it be in the future.

Everyone has a different story. But most people have experience of the pain.

 

But what if the person you love really is trustworthy but you cannot trust them because of horrendous past experiance?

[John X]

But what if the person you love really is trustworthy but you cannot trust them because of horrendous past experiance?

 

Then you take a chance on them, but at the same time you watch them very closely and come down hard on them if they mess up in any way.

 

And if he really loves you he will understand that and be very, very patient and understanding with you.

 

John X

[DragonofAna]

But what if the person you love really is trustworthy but you cannot trust them because of horrendous past experiance?

 

Your past does not matter. When you find someone there is either trust there or not, or perhaps it is there but gets destroyed by the person through their actions or inactions. Whatever - hiding behind your past is not an excuse for a lack of trust. If you love them - you will trust them - until they prove themselves unworthy.

[norks]

Then you take a chance on them, but at the same time you watch them very closely and come down hard on them if they mess up in any way.

 

And if he really loves you he will understand that and be very, very patient and understanding with you.

 

John X

 

 

but still a dirty secret yeah?

[norks]

Your past does not matter. When you find someone there is either trust there or not, or perhaps it is there but gets destroyed by the person through their actions or inactions. Whatever - hiding behind your past is not an excuse for a lack of trust. If you love them - you will trust them - until they prove themselves unworthy.

 

 

 

exactly!!

being cagey with mobile phones and video recorders. sending the same message twice within ten minutes as if it was a standard message to two different people.

 

The trust is there but the actions are not trustworthy at times.

[DragonofAna]

exactly!!

being cagey with mobile phones and video recorders. sending the same message twice within ten minutes as if it was a standard message to two different people.

 

The trust is there but the actions are not trustworthy at times.

 

Well only you can decide. But sending the same message twice is not something new. We all do it at some time or other - genuine mistake - wrong press of the keys on the phone pad.

 

I don't want to go making excuses for anyone. It all comes down to the same thing - if you love someone then you trust them. When you do not trust them - the foundation for that love has gone.

[Alien]

Just this is what generally seems to happen to one or the other. Love is so many other things as well, but when it goes wrong - for whatever reason ...

 

It's not a case of one or the other person being manipulated. It's one of those things that is really difficult to put into words.

 

But anyhow - that's how it affects a lot people at some time or other.

 

 

The "Put into words" is difficult you're right, but the way I see it is, when we fall in love we unconsciously give with every inner fibre. An example would be that fear is analysed as something that can be used to protect ourselves physically and mentally. If we hold onto the concept that even the smallest amount of fear can be attained (as a way of protecting ourselves)then the pain of someone else's actions can be minimised. After all it's not as if most don't have past experiences of "painful love" to gain strengthen from? And then again there is the old phrase "we never learn from ours or others mistakes". Not surprising when our "self protecting fear" goes out the window.

 

You analysed how you reacted when confronted with pain etc....maybe without these feelings the alternative would be madness?

[norks]

Well only you can decide. But sending the same message twice is not something new. We all do it at some time or other - genuine mistake - wrong press of the keys on the phone pad.

 

I don't want to go making excuses for anyone. It all comes down to the same thing - if you love someone then you trust them. When you do not trust them - the foundation for that love has gone.[/QUOTE]

 

 

And that is the time to say goodbye, agreed?