Kaimani Posted March 5, 2008 Share Posted March 5, 2008 not sure if i've posted this before. but i recently edited it and perfomed it at words aloud. went down ok i think. but by the time i got on stage i'd edited the hell out of it and it was damn near half the size. this is the unedited version. Something from the archives. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mikomi Posted March 5, 2008 Share Posted March 5, 2008 Sorry way to deep for me,did'nt get it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scotty225 Posted March 5, 2008 Share Posted March 5, 2008 I thought this was very powerful. The images are graphic indeed and evoke horror and repulion. Although I am not sure exactly what it is about I do know that I never want to experience that kind of peace. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sauerkraut Posted March 6, 2008 Share Posted March 6, 2008 Good to hear from you again, Kaimani. Yes, I think I have read it before and it certainly contains some terrifyingly powerful images. I just need a more coherent "storyline" to hold them together. It would be interesting to see the edited version. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kaimani Posted March 6, 2008 Author Share Posted March 6, 2008 Good to hear from you again, Kaimani. Yes, I think I have read it before and it certainly contains some terrifyingly powerful images. I just need a more coherent "storyline" to hold them together. It would be interesting to see the edited version. good to be heard from:hihi: will try and upload the edited virsion. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kaimani Posted March 6, 2008 Author Share Posted March 6, 2008 Sorry way to deep for me,did'nt get it. thanks for the feed back. the idea was to convey what happens, i guess, after you do things you feel kill the 'human' in you. if it's ok, could you tell me why you think you didn't get it? was it the style? the content? or anything else i might overlook. would be grateful. and will work on it to see how it can be improved. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mikomi Posted March 6, 2008 Share Posted March 6, 2008 Kaimani . Personally and it's only my opinion, i think you can over kill a story by being to graphic it leaves nothing to the imagination of the reader, also as previously said the storyline was a bit vague .I didnt really understand what the story was about!!!!!. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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