Story: 'The Shed.'

[scotty225]

This is part of a larger story. I am interestedto know how the written dialect works, or not.

 

The Shed.

[sauerkraut]

That's definitely left me wanting to read more. I like the close attention to detail and the way it brings the story to life, conjuring up so many images of the (fairly recent) past. I used to do that ripping off privet leaves thing on my way to school, too! I could never have described it so well,though - if I had even thought to try to describe it at all! There were lots of almost throw-away remarks like that - e.g. the seeds that couldn't wait any longer to live - which all worked together to create a beautifully complete picture.

 

I assume the piece is "work in progress" because the spelling etc needs a fair bit of tidying up, but I'm sure that's easily sorted.

 

As for the written dialect, I wonder if that's just a matter of personal taste. I find it irritating, and feel that it gets in the way of the story because you have to slow down to work out more carefully what's being said. But I find it irritating when Dickens does it, too, so I don't think you can take that as any reflection on the writer! Others might well say it makes the characters more realistic, by reflecting more accurately how they speak.

 

I hope we'll get chance to see some more of the story at some point

[scotty225]

Thanks for the feedback Sk. The story is taken from my unfinished novel and is the only section that came anywhere near standing on its own as a short story without the reader really needing to know much about the story so far. It is also the only section that is postable as the language is very raw and I feel it unsuitable for the internet.

 

The written dialect is a real worry to me as most people stumble over it and as you commented it slows the reader down. I am finding it dificult to get an authentic feel to the sound I want the dialog to have and keep the reader moving along with the story. Do you think if the story started with a pre amble with an explination of the dialect like a short dictionary it would help?

 

I am the worlds worst speller and have been told I should have a test for dislexia but feel it would be just a label to get out every time someone pulls you up for miss spelling dislexia. I'd rather create and worry about those details if I ever get to print. I know I often use the wrong there, their, were, where or wear but I believe me if it wasn't for the spell checker it would all be in german. Perhaps in your case that might help.

 

Thanks again I constantly fiddle with it so will post more as I clean it up.

[sauerkraut]

Hmm, thinking about it, I can imagine that over the course of a novel the reader could get used to the dialect, especially if that's always the way the character speaks and it's written (spelt) consistently. It would just be part of how that character is. And I do appreciate that you lose authenticity if everyone's speaking BBC English!

 

I'm not sure about the dictionary idea. It would slow the reader down even more if they had to keep checking words. But on the other hand it might be useful to have some kind of reference for if you really get stuck.

 

My personal preference if you're going to use dialect would be to keep the speeches reasonably short. I confess to my shame that I have been known to start skimming over passages in Dickens novels where the Mr Sthlearys and the like are allowed to go on for too long!

 

It would be interesting to hear the others' views on this.

 

Oh and I think you're right to concentrate on creativity before spelling. If need be a friendly proofreader can no doubt sort out the finer details when the time comes

[coyleys]

Good one Scotty.

I agree with SK, in as much as “the attention to detail and the way it brings the story to life”

Apart from the dialogue it was an easy read, just what I like.

 

Now there’s the question of Yorkshire dialogue, which is a question that can never be answered as there are no written guidelines. Some writers make use of the apostrophe (in’t i’hot) which is just abbreviated English, some use the dialect (Thee Thou or Dee Dar) it depends what part of Yorkshire you come from. Even parts of Sheffield have their different dialect.

 

If you notice for “there” Scotty will use “Theer” I think Scotty comes from the Halfway area, where as I will use “Deer” being a townie (Wybourn), so really there are no rules. What you have to bear in mind is for someone even with a working knowledge of the dialect it slows their reading down, so imagine what someone from a different county or indeed a different country would think.

If you ever managed to get a novel published with such Dialogue; I would think the further from Yorkshire the less the sales.

But don’t let that put you off, keep on writing the Yorkshire way, I do, it’s good fun.

[pattricia]

Very Good Scotty !!

[Hopman]

Good one Scotty

If you notice for “there” Scotty will use “Theer” I think Scotty comes from the Halfway area, where as I will use “Deer” being a townie (Wybourn),

 

Probably more like Hackenthorpe than Halfway.

 

I read somewhere that the first draft should be written from the heart and the second from the head. A few spelling errors in there, but nothing too serious.

There's a lot of love between Paul and his Granddad, but I suspect that he never told the old man.

 

Keep at it, Scotty. Don't put it on the bonfire!

[scotty225]

Thanks Hopman,

It's funny you mentioned a bonfire as they feature quite heavily in the other parts of the story and as for the spelling I'm a lost cause. Btw you're right Kneachthorpe is and anagram of Hackenthorpe which is where I grew up.