JFKvsNixon Posted March 11, 2008 Share Posted March 11, 2008 'arranged' and 'forced' are two horses of quite different colours, though. I don't think anyone is saying anything about arranged marriages, just that schoolgirls are going missing from our country and the implication is that they are being forced into marriage in another country. The people I knew had no choice but to go through with their arranged marriages. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rubydazzler Posted March 11, 2008 Share Posted March 11, 2008 The people I knew had no choice but to go through with their arranged marriages. So then, in effect, they were actually 'forced' marriages and not arranged one. As someone remarked earlier, arranged marriages are not unusual in many cultures and can often be very successful, as the parties have time to get to know one another and decide whether or not they are inclined to accept the arrangement. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JFKvsNixon Posted March 11, 2008 Share Posted March 11, 2008 So then, in effect, they were actually 'forced' marriages and not arranged one. As someone remarked earlier, arranged marriages are not usual in many cultures and can often be very successful, as the parties have time to get to know one another and decide whether or not they are inclined to accept the arrangement. For them it was a case of if they do not go through with the marriage then their family would have turned there backs on them. In our culture this does not seem such a big deal but as they explained to me that if your country has no social security, non existant pensions, a very poor health service and police force; it is almost impossible to try go through your life without the support of your family. So in essence they said that they had no choice, intrestingly they are all happily married now; as far as they tell me anyway. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric_Collins Posted March 11, 2008 Share Posted March 11, 2008 I don't know , they force the Muslim Faith and that on us but up in arms when it gets forced on them, Cake and eat it springs to mind here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Baz1 Posted March 11, 2008 Share Posted March 11, 2008 I also think that this is disgraceful but lets not turn this into a muslim bashing thread. It is not a religous thing or even a muslim thing, to say so ignores the problems that exist in the Indian sub continent. I know a few Christians from India and they have all had arranged marriages. Our thoughts should be with these poor young girls and boys, and this should not be used as an excuse to attack muslims. Good point JFKvsNixon. I and many people with common sense are always appalled with any 'forced arranged marriage', I don't have to stand here and badger away about this/that as the type of thing we're discussing has been going on for donkey years (to put it plainly). Whether it is in Pkstn or India or even in another part of the world, it happens- maybe not frequent as it once did as more parents are beginning to see that arranged marriages are only 'worth it' if BOTH parties agree to it. BUt we have even seen 'British' women trying to have marriages made by certain organizations who may specialise in this field- if two people are compatible, have similar interests, then one can recommend to the other, even if they are a 3rd party. The subject in particular of the OP is definately a sad situation- I have read countless times reports of girls going 'back home' on a pretence of a holiday, then only to find that there is a man (normally older) who they have never met and is to be their husband. Yorkshire, in particular Bradford has a strong pakstn community from mirpur. They are very family orinentated, and alot of them who come to UK or USA tend to want to maintain ties- so they think getting their child married to the nephew back home, is one step to do it. It has nothing to do with Religion (not said for the first time). I called it a cultural fundamental in one thread, and that's what it is. I AM GLAD I NEVER SAW THAT IN MY HOUSEHOLD. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rubydazzler Posted March 11, 2008 Share Posted March 11, 2008 I don't know , they force the Muslim Faith and that on us but up in arms when it gets forced on them, Cake and eat it springs to mind here. What? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MAMALOCHA! Posted March 11, 2008 Share Posted March 11, 2008 I don't know , they force the Muslim Faith and that on us but up in arms when it gets forced on them, Cake and eat it springs to mind here. space cake Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pritt Stick Posted March 11, 2008 Share Posted March 11, 2008 I also think that this is disgraceful but lets not turn this into a muslim bashing thread. It is not a religous thing or even a muslim thing, to say so ignores the problems that exist in the Indian sub continent. I know a few Christians from India and they have all had arranged marriages. Our thoughts should be with these poor young girls and boys, and this should not be used as an excuse to attack muslims. Christian Indians do not have forced marriages - I can't prove it but it's akin to saying 'vegetarians prefer their steaks rare'. It just don't happen. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rubydazzler Posted March 11, 2008 Share Posted March 11, 2008 space cake I always feel really excited when I see a post by you ... for some reason I want to leap up and salsa around the room, snapping my fingers and shouting "mamalochaaaaa"!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
depoix Posted March 11, 2008 Share Posted March 11, 2008 heres a link from the times on line,its by sammeem ali, a very brave lady,read her story http://entertainment.timesonline.co.uk/tol/arts_and_entertainment/books/article3474557.ece Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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