Story: 'A bit o' dialogue.'

[coyleys]

I have tried to portray the digressive ramblings of old Tom, whilst not confusing the reader.

Have I succeeded?

 

A bit o' dialogue.

[Mantaspook]

Succeeded perfectly, I’d say. A good little story with a nostalgic human angle, the Yorkshire dialect was expressed well, not sure if that’s because I can talk with the extra apostrophes when the need arises, one colleague once commented that I talk like a ‘posh polytechnic reject’ but he decided to withdraw this slanderous remark on condition I unstapled his tie from his desk…

 

Sadly old chaps like Tom are getting fewer, I always remember a phrase from an historian who wrote a book about the Battle of Britain: “It was a privilege to talk with them,(the pilots) from an historian’s point of view, it was like been given a first hand account from someone who had fought from the deck of Nelson’s Victory.”

 

I think the story could have sustained three or four of Tom’s interlaced ramblings and this would have added to the comical confusion felt by t’young Coyleys when he jumped from one thread to another, I particularly liked this:

 

“You were saying about Johnny Turk”

“Oh arr! That’s right, his name was Brian…"

 

Good stuff!

[scotty225]

Superb little piece Coyleys I really enjoyed it. The character of old Tom came out of the story very easily through the dialogue which flowed effortlessly and made me want to read more, in fact it was a little disapointing when it ended I could have listened to old Tom all light.

[coyleys]

Glad you two liked it.

Old Tom was a real character and the tales to the best of my memory were true accounts. Well! According to my mother Old Tom was a bit of a romancer.

I agree it is a bit short; but I do remember Tom giving Ern some courtship lessons, they were a bit humorous. I will try to make time to edit the story.

Cheers