Whats the worst job you've ever had ?

[HappyHoosier]

When I was in college, I worked at a "residential treatment facility" for emotionally disturbed youth. It was scary being around teens who were violent, depressed, traumatized, manic, paranoid, suicidal. Frequently, the kids would attack another resident, punch a house parent or set something on fire. We weren't even supposed to walk on campus without a co-worker.

 

Plus, the place always smelled like hot buttered corn, even when it wasn't on the menu.

[haddockman]

Cleaning windows in a cafe every week when I was about 12!!

[funkymiss]

Waitress when I was 13, complete slave labor working for £2.50 an hour or something, til 1 or 2am. Don't know why I did it!! A job I had last year I had the worst wierdest old manager... The job was ok but I was so glad I was just a temp, could not have worked for that man permanently! Other employees would walk out of the office cos they couldn't stand him

[Bladesman]

Paper boy.

 

Crap money really for doing 5 days a week and getting nothing for it. I even helped them open the shop in the mornings and cover for paper boys that didnt show up. How much did I get for doing my round and covering other staff? £15 a week! Its no wonder why some people dont always get their paper in the morning.

[hamatik]

I did a temp job in a freezer, packing sausages on a night shift........ in the middle of winter.

 

It was hell. I lasted two nights...

[hamatik]

£15 a week! Its no wonder why some people dont always get their paper in the morning.

I only got £12 when I did mine!!

[*Peaches*]

Delivering free local news paper, tenner for 500 papers

[Guest]

The only example I can think of is a stint of voluntary work at a hospice. Some of the images haunt me now, several years later.

[johnbradley]

paper round / litter picking / cleaning Budgen's supermarket (bloody hell, those women's loos...made me gag!)

 

And the best of all - selling rubbish, fake, England T-Shirts out of a sports bag, walking all round Manchester, during World Cup '98. THAT was a crap job.

[Wardonia]

CLIVE:

Er, I'll tell you the worst job I ever had.

DEREK:

What was that?

CLIVE:

The worst job I ever had was with Jayne Mansfield. You know, she was a fantastic bird, you know .....

DEREK:

Yeah, yeah.

CLIVE:

..... big tits, huge bum, and everything like that, but I had the terrible job of retrieving lobsters from her bum.

DEREK:

Really? Bloody hell, that must have been a task.

CLIVE:

Well, it was quite a task 'cause she had a big bum .....

DEREK:

Well, I remember.

CLIVE:

..... and they were big lobsters.

DEREK:

I remember she had a huge bum.

CLIVE:

Well, she had one and, er, you know, presumably in the afterlife .....

DEREK:

(belches) Oh dear.

CLIVE:

Shut up ..... she still has one. But I had to, used to go round, you know, of an evening .....

DEREK:

Yeah.

CLIVE:

..... when Jayne was sleeping or sort of comatose, like, .....

DEREK:

Yeah, yeah.

CLIVE:

..... you know, you know.

DEREK:

Yeah.

CLIVE:

You know, just lying there.

DEREK:

Comatose.

CLIVE:

And the ne-

DEREK:

'Coma-toes to her head' huh-huh-huh.

CLIVE:

'Coma-toes to her head' - shut up.

DEREK:

(coughs)

CLIVE:

And, er, I had to retrieve these lobsters from her arsehole.

DEREK:

Yeah, well, I remember she had a lot of trouble with-, with lobsters up her arsehole.

CLIVE:

Well, you see, the lobsters .....

DEREK:

Basically, she suffered from, er, what was known in-, in the medical trade as 'lobsters-up-the-arsehole'.

CLIVE:

Well, this is what it said scientifically, you know, .....

DEREK:

Yeah.

CLIVE:

..... 'lobsters-up-the-bum', you know .....

DEREK:

Mmm.

CLIVE:

..... this was the scientific, er, term for it but, you know, in general terms it was known as 'Lobsterisimus -um- Bummakisimus'.

DEREK:

Yeah, yeah.

CLIVE:

And it was my job every evening to go round to Jayne .....

DEREK:

Mmm.

CLIVE:

..... who was a sweet girl.

DEREK:

Yeah.

CLIVE:

Sweet, charming, shy, mysterious girl .....

DEREK:

Yeah.

CLIVE:

..... and get these ****ing lobsters out of her arsehole.

DEREK:

Yeah.

CLIVE:

Which is so tricky because she was a very sensitive woman, you know.

DEREK:

Yeah, yeah.

CLIVE:

I used to go round there every evening and these lobsters, you know, she used to go out bathing in Malibu .....

DEREK:

Yeah.

CLIVE:

..... which is where she used to go out bathing.

DEREK:

Yeah, oh, Malibu, yeah.

CLIVE:

Malibu, yes. Malibu-de-bum-bum. And, erm, up went the lobsters - boing! - straight up her arsehole.

DEREK:

Well, I think, you know, I think she brought it on herself, really, didn't she?

CLIVE:

Not so much brought them on herself as so much encouraged them, you know, .....

DEREK:

Yeah, yeah.

CLIVE:

..... by the flagrant display which she got up to.

DEREK:

Well, I think she was a dirty cow.

CLIVE:

Well .....

DEREK:

And being .....

CLIVE:

No, n-, no, no, be fair, be fair. You can call her a dirty cow but, let's face it, a lot of lobsters fancied her bum.

DEREK:

Yeah, well, I think, I-, let's face it, I think it was a fifty-fifty arrangement. I think that-, I-, I don't .....

CLIVE:

Yeah. The lob-, the lobsters didn't say, "we have the upper hand", .....

DEREK:

No.

CLIVE:

..... Jayne didn't say, "we have the upper hand" .....

DEREK:

There was no-, there was no feeling of, er, domination.

CLIVE:

No. It was a .....

DEREK:

A-, fif-

CLIVE:

..... fifty-fifty thing.

DEREK:

I think the lobsters got quite a nip out of it .....

CLIVE:

Yeah.

DEREK:

Uh-huh-huh. And, er, I think Jayne got a lot out of it.

CLIVE:

Yeah, but it was my job, my job to retrieve the lobsters from her bum after the event.

DEREK:

What event?

CLIVE:

Post hoc, te proct.

DEREK:

P-post what?

CLIVE:

Post hoc, te proct.

DEREK:

Oh, yeah, yeah.

CLIVE:

That's what it is in Latin, you know, .....

DEREK:

What-

CLIVE:

..... getting lobsters out of people's bums, after they've, er, .....

DEREK:

Oh, post hoc, te proct.

CLIVE:

Yes, yeah.

DEREK:

Well, when ..... (clears throat)

CLIVE:

But she was a sweet girl and I wouldn't knock her.

DEREK:

Well, I gather you wouldn't, no.

CLIVE:

No, I gather I wouldn't. But I'll tell you one thing Tony Newley said to me .....

DEREK:

What was that?

CLIVE:

"Who are you?"

DEREK:

Yeah? Just like that.

CLIVE:

Just like that. And I thought that made Tony Newley a-, a wonderful human being.