scotty225 Posted April 21, 2008 Share Posted April 21, 2008 I found the months task too difficult so I wrote this instead. I tried to keep the theme alive within it. I think I missed. What do you think? April. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pattricia Posted April 21, 2008 Share Posted April 21, 2008 I cant write poetry at all, so I admire anyone like you who can . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ron Blanco Posted April 25, 2008 Share Posted April 25, 2008 I liked this even more than March In terms of the unreliable narrator theme i'm not sure!! Could there have been scope for throwing the reader by guiding their expectations towards the Month of April only for them to discover by the end that it is a poem about a woman named April? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tallyman Posted April 26, 2008 Share Posted April 26, 2008 Scotty, I really liked this poem Like Pattricia, I struggle with poetry, but this one had me glued to the screen, wishing that I could write something like it. Though, like RB, I'm not sure about the unreliable narrator - I think it would take a smarter person than me to work out whether you'd met the challenge Good work; very good indeed Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scotty225 Posted April 26, 2008 Author Share Posted April 26, 2008 Many thanks for the feedback everyone. I felt as I was posting this one that as an unreliable narrator I had failed, but the notion of an unrequited love was a difficult task to set myself within the context of a 14 line sonnet given the months theme. I tried to get straight to the point in the first line. "rendezvous awash with whispered lies." Later I mention the lingering winter as a dark stranger still holding springs attentions. Another clumbsy attempt to personify April. I think I sometimes tend to be too cryptic I just cant help it. I've tried to write a short story on the months theme too and I hope to get it posted before the end of April. (not that she is in any danger of course) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ron Blanco Posted April 26, 2008 Share Posted April 26, 2008 I think I sometimes tend to be too cryptic I just cant help it. I think that's ok. It helps your poems to have different layers and to work on different levels. I'm glad you don't mind me sometimes asking you to decipher bits i've not worked out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scotty225 Posted April 26, 2008 Author Share Posted April 26, 2008 RB, I'm happy to get feedback for my work. The fact that you are willing to ask questions gives me chance to assess how it is being understood, digested or simply liked or not. Thanks again for your input. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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