I introduce myself with a poem.

[hippodance]

So, hi - I'm Adele, I've recently turned 14 and I write a lot, mainly poetry. I know I sound... stuck up, but I'm sick of people my age reading my poems and just going 'wow, they're great' because they have nothing critical or intellectual to say - because, well, they just don't care.

So I thought I'd join here, to share my writing with people who do care.

This is one of my poems from a while ago, but I still adore it. Either this or one of my other poems is going to be in a creative arts magazine, which I'm really excited about.

 

The Monsters Ball

 

Vampires, werewolves, mummies too -

They all want to come and play with you.

And through the pain they feel at day,

Tonight they'll dance their pain away.

 

The werewolf means no human harm,

When he’s man himself he’s quite a charm,

But when the full moon glows and burns

Even if you’re his friend - no life is earned.

 

The demon, admitted, likes screams of pain

Because others filled him with so much shame

And yet here he feels likes he belongs,

Swaying to the monsters song.

 

Dracula loves but guilt’s the taste of blood,

The craving takes over – he’s knows he’s no good…

He bites into the girl but feels a feeling so rare,

When he looks at the others and sees they don’t care.

 

The ogre loves the twisted flesh

But when he’s done he feels a mess

But the hate to others has gone and for once he smiles

When the other monsters accept him along with his trials.

 

The mummy cries a silent weep

Wishing and wishing he could fall asleep

But he finds he doesn’t want to, doesn’t want to at all

As he laughs along at the monsters ball.

 

The beast is so ugly, the stuff of a story

She knows she’s a legend and yet feels no glory

But she feels so beautiful as the odd stranger stares,

And later he loves her, how many she scares.

 

Vampires, werewolves, mummies too -

They all want to come and play with you.

And through the pain they feel at day,

Tonight they'll dance their pain away.

 

concrit is always apprecaited !

[Chris1985]

Congratulations on your publication in a creative arts magazine, you have a great talent with descriptive writings. I would love to see more of your work, i wish i could be so imaginative.. My poetry is very 'raw' and usually is reflective of my moods. Hehe i suppose i'm the only one who could understand my poetry in its sublimenal forms.

 

I can tell you have thought about each 'monster' greatly, i especially like..

''The beast is so ugly, the stuff of a story

She knows she’s a legend and yet feels no glory

But she feels so beautiful as the odd stranger stares,

And later he loves her, how many she scares.''

well done, i hope to see more soon

[redrobbo]

Welcome to the forum Adele, aka hippodance.

 

A good first effort on the forum at writing poetry. You don't sound stuck up at all to me, and I hope we will see more of your poetry in due course.

 

red

[Tallyman]

Welcome hippodance, and thanks for taking that first step in opening up your work to public scrutiny - it's always a tricky moment, but I think everyone in the group feels the same, and we try to be very supportive of each other. I know I've had some very constructive criticism, and it's much appreciated.

 

I liked your piece, and it was a great introduction. It's an interesting idea to create a gathering of monsters - it seemed to me a gathering of those who don't conform to a usual view of society, the outcasts, the 'freaks', the shunned. And in that way, it was rather a sad tale, the suggestion that the 'monsters' would rather not be the way they are, but be more 'acceptable'.

 

But perhaps the monsters should celebrate their individuality instead!

 

I look forward to reading more of your work!