Sir_Nigel Posted August 4, 2008 Share Posted August 4, 2008 Motorway sign, motorway sign warns me about stuff when everything’s fine. It says FOG or CONGESTION or SOME PRAT IN THE WAY But I get there to find that was yester-bloody-day. So my cynical mind now asks: Is that so? and I picture a sedentary, coffee-breathed fatso typing in messages to cover his back - a substitute for the senses he thinks I must lack. DON’T DRIVE TIRED he warned me today Does he think I should pull for in for a nap on the way? ‘Sorry boss but the sign seems to think that it’s best if I turn round and go back to bed for a rest.’ And to tell me that now is a little bit late That sign needs positioning outside my gate. No - forget that I said that – it’ll give them ideas That suggestion might fall on government ears. ‘THINK’ – say the messages – they assume that I don’t. DON’T DRINK, DON’T PHONE – I know that. I won’t. And its alternative, even more meaningless function is to tell me how many minutes ‘til I reach the next junction. And off in his windowless office in Slough the bored, sweaty fat bloke is mopping his brow. Striving to justify the time and expense but lacking in basic good judgement and sense. And what of the future for these patronising signs Will they spy on us? issuing on the spot fines? OY YOU IN THE RENAULT – YOU’RE NOT DOING AS I SAY THAT’S SIXTY QUID SUNSHINE YOU’LL NOW HAVE TO PAY AND YOU IN THE ROVER - DID YOU JUST TOSS OUT A FAG? And there goes another charge into the bag. There ought to be some sort of right of reply when the sign says DRIVE CAREFULLY OR YOU MAY DIE You could text a response to it for public display And have B*LLOCKS emblazoned over the motorway. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
coyleys Posted August 4, 2008 Share Posted August 4, 2008 Another good one from Sir Nigel. :hihi: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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