Sir_Nigel Posted September 9, 2008 Share Posted September 9, 2008 So how would you rate your appearance? If you had to be honest and frank. If they took a Looks-ometer and aimed it at you, where do you think you would rank? Are you Stunning or Pretty, can you turn a few heads? Where would you rate on the scale? Do you long to be up at the Beautiful end to lure in the prime alpha male? But you may be just Average, Plain or Not Bad and appeal to the regular chap. Or Nothing-to-Write-Home-About or Sort of So-So but can pass for OK with some slap. Or are you a serious minger? Dogs whimper and howl as you pass, with a complexion to frighten small children away and a face that can shatter plate glass. But whatever your rating you shouldn’t despair for here’s a new product to help: Buy new Restorinox with added G12 plus jojoba and extracts of kelp. Just one little jar of this miracle cream can perk up the homeliest creatures. Just rub it in nightly for 36 months and watch for the change in your features. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shoeshine Posted September 9, 2008 Share Posted September 9, 2008 Do you accept Visa, Sir Nigel? Can you send 4 jars in plain packaging? (My wife'll kill me if she reads this post! ) Seriously though, great post in the tradition of Sir_Nigel on here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Malanimal Posted September 10, 2008 Share Posted September 10, 2008 :hihi:Very good! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sir_Nigel Posted September 10, 2008 Author Share Posted September 10, 2008 Sure, Shoeshine - 4 jars - 'for your wife'. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mantaspook Posted September 10, 2008 Share Posted September 10, 2008 An excellent ditty. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tallyman Posted September 11, 2008 Share Posted September 11, 2008 A cracking read as always, Sir Nigel, and it gave me a much needed chuckle this morning. Now, if you could have your man deliver a case of the stuff (unmarked cardboard box), my cheque will be in the post. Have already engaged the services of one of Sheffield's master plasterers, who is on standby as we speak... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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