Nutronic Posted September 6, 2003 Share Posted September 6, 2003 Hillbilly Wins Weekend with The Queen Contest Cleetus K.K.K. Rhodekill of Alabama U.S.A., was the proud winner of the controversial "Win A Weekend With The Queen of England" Contest. In the recently if not temporarily improved public relations between the USA and England stemming from their war alliance, many Americans have found themselves still struggling with the concept of Royalty. What once was viewed by Americans as the land of iffeminate homosexuals, socialism (a trait historically hated by Uncle Sam),and the flagrant flaunting of riches by crowned twits in castles is now a nation the US public treasures and respects. This new found "friend" (aye, thats how my husband referred to a glitter skirted tart , when I found them in the back of his car as he slipped her £20 as she fled in the night), still has far to go to maintain respect from Americans. In the realisation that Tony Blair stands as much chance of surving the next elections as a virgin at a prison rodeo, England is most eager to maintain future relations with the US and keep the love flowing in the face of even those flag waving imbeciles hateful of other cultures. The American Redneck (a.k.a. Hillbilly), has yet to be able to identify with people who wipe their arses with cash and indeed with the entire concept of royalty. It was in this light, that the WIN A WEEKEND WITH THE QUEEN CONTEST was born and then festered. The winner, was one Cleetus K.K.K. Rhodekill of Bethlehem, Alabama whose founding fathers claim to be the birthplace of Christ despite failing efforts to discover three wise men ever being in the town's parametres at any given time. Cleetus, who was raised by pigs until noticed as human-like when reached puberty, was most delighted when the Queen of England herself stood on the cement block and knocked on his door. He was however not surprised, knowing he had sent in 5000 of the 5050 entries received, the remainder having been sent in by Snoop Doggy Dogg. Cleetus claims and proves without reserve his "Marriage" to himself as he was born with both gender sex organs. The Queen spent nearly one weekend in White Trash Trailer Park with the one toothed Hillbilly and as per contest rules was forced to engage in such hillbilly pastimes as build the empty beer can pyramid, count the hairs on mama's chin, a competition to see who has the most completely hairless cousins,belching contests, and the pastime of burn the cross on "Tha coloured fellah's lawn" amongst other quaint traditional customs. Living conditions were indeed different from her norm.The loo was same tree that the dog used, they both slept in same bed with nothing more between them than a rifle, and a tick ridden pet rat, and she was paraded around town in the back of his pickup truck with her waving to the rest of the town ( his cousins).She survived on grilled cheese sandwiches prepared with a clothes pressing iron and the kitchen table. Before the week's end was up she was last seen headed for Canada in dread of a future being forced to endear herself to yanks. "I would have much preferred this Snoop Dog fellow had been victorious with his entries. I rather had preferred to be rollin' wit my dogs n da hood. The FBI is secretly deporting Irish immigrants with wild accusations of ancient terrorist connections and yet they hold on to tooth pick sucking vermin as Mr. Rhodekill?" Cleetus replied to this news with much chagrin, saying " I was a hopin to learn to play Rule Britannia on my comb and hanky before she left." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
halevan Posted September 7, 2003 Share Posted September 7, 2003 What a hate filled, **** ridden, sarcastic, load of perverted claptrap, reminds me of the ramblings of a twisted, drug fuelled, half brained, halfwit, not even worthy of being posted on this intellectual Forum, had I realised what it contained, I would not have even considered reading it. If you have nothing more constructive to say, go away and write you verbal diahorrea in a public toilet, where it can be flushed away amongst the other **** where it belongs. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
max Posted September 7, 2003 Share Posted September 7, 2003 Originally posted by halevan What a hate filled, **** ridden, sarcastic, load of perverted claptrap, reminds me of the ramblings of a twisted, drug fuelled, half brained, halfwit, not even worthy of being posted on this intellectual Forum, had I realised what it contained, I would not have even considered reading it. If you have nothing more constructive to say, go away and write you verbal diahorrea in a public toilet, where it can be flushed away amongst the other **** where it belongs. Pretty much the same could be said of this intolerant rant. Hal, it's someone else's view and sense of humour. Lighten up and show some tolerance. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spacehopper Posted September 7, 2003 Share Posted September 7, 2003 Nah Den Ace......... Van Halen, it appears to me that you are the one that is filled with hate! Take a chill pill - try to accept that people will have different opinions to those held by yourself. It's nothing personal. Satire never hurt anybody......... Regards, Spacehopper. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DaBouncer Posted September 7, 2003 Share Posted September 7, 2003 Originally posted by halevan What a hate filled, **** ridden, sarcastic, load of perverted claptrap, reminds me of the ramblings of a twisted, drug fuelled, half brained, halfwit, not even worthy of being posted on this intellectual Forum, had I realised what it contained, I would not have even considered reading it. If you have nothing more constructive to say, go away and write you verbal diahorrea in a public toilet, where it can be flushed away amongst the other **** where it belongs. Although Hal's views are extreme in there own right, I feel the comments (as they have been written) flow well and read in a slightly funny manner. Hal Said: go away and write you verbal diahorrea in a public toilet, where it can be flushed away amongst the other **** where it belongs. Classic line! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phanerothyme Posted September 7, 2003 Share Posted September 7, 2003 At least quote your source, SheffieldLive. This article appears here which is perhaps where Halevan should vent his spleen, I mean wrath. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Funke88 Posted September 7, 2003 Share Posted September 7, 2003 Originally posted by halevan What a hate filled, **** ridden, sarcastic, load of perverted claptrap, reminds me of the ramblings of a twisted, drug fuelled, half brained, halfwit, not even worthy of being posted on this intellectual Forum, had I realised what it contained, I would not have even considered reading it. You know what, I agree. I could not believe what I was reading. I live in Florida but work in Alabama. I found it very offensive. If you don't like English royalty then fine. But it is plainly obvious to me, who lives here in the south, that you have absolutely no idea what you are talking about. I found it racist and bigoted. You offend the "rednecks" who are actually hard working farmers. They may not be well educated but certainly not worthy of slander and stereotyping. As to one who's friends happen to be rednecks, I saw no humour or satire. I think I missed that. Claptrap puts it mildly. That's my opinion and I am entitled to it. And no thank you, I do not need a chill pill. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tymr Posted September 7, 2003 Share Posted September 7, 2003 That's my opinion and I am entitled to it. And no thank you, I do not need a chill pill. ..ok , so it's not funny enough to make one LOL, but it's also not that offensive. I find the whole -ism argument kind of difficult to counter argue. I'm asian, and in my mid 30's. I've experienced racism first hand, yet find humour involving an -ism quite funny usually. It is often intelligently aimed, with an insight into the reasons for the -ism in the first place. When I read or see something that I find funny... I laugh... then I realise that others may be offended by the subject. Is that a problem? I am not too concerned about others opinions of me for laughing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Funke88 Posted September 12, 2003 Share Posted September 12, 2003 Originally posted by Phanerothyme At least quote your source, SheffieldLive. This article appears here which is perhaps where Halevan should vent his spleen, I mean wrath. Plagiarism Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nutronic Posted September 14, 2003 Author Share Posted September 14, 2003 maybve i would have done if given the chance. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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