Difficult situation.

[neilh1964]

During an argument last night my partner called me a name. He called me a Sl*g. This is not the first time he has called me this and he is really nasty with it. The thing is last night I had enough and hit him. I am not proud of it and feel gutted but It hurts so much to be called something like that from the person who is supposed to love me. My dad also used to call my mum things like this and I once lashed out and hit him too for doing it. I feel gutted that I have lashed out like that and do think I should control my anger but my partner refuses to see what he did was also appaling and is just saying how horrible I am for hitting out. I cant handle this anymore.

 

Hope everything is ok with you both now.

[shims]

I have never called a girlfriend a slag or a bitch...(well a bitch in a jest kinda way). If insults like that are involved in a relationship (or violence) then i'd feel better off out of it.

 

Exactly. This "only a word" business misses the point. You don't call your partner a slag - ever. Unless, of course, it's actually justified AND you're intending to part ways.

 

Words have the power to hurt. Use them honestly. If the description didn't fit, then no wonder she hit him! We tend to consider physical violence as great taboo, whilst not affording the same concern to mental abuse. It's never ok for people in a relationship to disrespect each other in this way.

[shims]

And if they thought so negatively about me, why were they staying with me?

 

Sometimes convenience, knowing they're onto a good thing but not making the effort to appreciate you, trying to have their cake and eat it etc.

 

The best way to learn not to call people abusive names is through them leaving you as a result.

[Kthebean]

If you're becoming violent with your partner you need to leave him for both your sakes.

 

It doesn't sound like you have a very healthy or happy relationship.