Guest bostonaire Posted May 28, 2005 Share Posted May 28, 2005 ive a bit of knowledge on this thru work but heres a link for those who want to know more..... http://www.selfharm.org.uk/index.php?section=info&show=Why+do+young+people++harm+themselves%3F Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Robbie Loving Posted May 28, 2005 Share Posted May 28, 2005 Originally posted by madowl secondly..... i have to question your motives for coming on the forum with this? was it so you could find help for yourself? or you just wanted a bit of attentiion. you ask what the motives are for bringing this to the forum?? advice is free mate! and it sound like this kid needs it, how can you ask if this is for attention?? what you need is a wake up call mate, but dont ever get depressed, people might think you an attention freak!!!! help those that need it and dont mock'em! ok, don't wanna carry this on..... sothis will be my last coment regards this. imyself have been through depression before, and its not something you want to go shouting about.... so seems just a tad strange someone would be on a very public forum (even advertised in urinals round sheffield now did you know) talking about it for debate. like i stated, what if her brother reads the post? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
madowl Posted May 28, 2005 Share Posted May 28, 2005 whats the harm in asking? if you have had depression yourself you should know how low you can feel and what the difference support from loved ones can make... someone is worried about a family member... and dont know where to turn for advice and support.... id have thought the forum would have been a great place to ask for advice, after all, its for the people by the people aint it? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
luckylotti Posted May 28, 2005 Share Posted May 28, 2005 I have experience of working with people suffering with depression and anxiety. I offer patient counselling, holistic massage & stress management. I find talking as well as relaxing and learning to calm and relax yourself is a great way to better manage and cope. It is a huge topic and different with each individual person. I find aromatherapy massage with oils tailored to the client most popular. I have had and continue to have great results with the above. As a complementary therapist, I look at the whole person (holistically), therefore I look at past, present, future as well as life style, personality and diet, to mention a few areas. You cannot treat one area but the person, mind, body and soul. __________________________ Complementary Therapies & Psychotherapy & Counselling 07795387622 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest bostonaire Posted May 28, 2005 Share Posted May 28, 2005 when you say you offer counselling.are you qualified. to what level? __________________________ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xafier Posted May 28, 2005 Share Posted May 28, 2005 *wipes eyes* damn, knew I shouldn't have read this... I've been in this situation myself, except I was in the shoes of your brother... I have self-harmed on a few occasions, when I was younger... the worst thing about it is when someone finds out, or you tell someone and then everyone who knows gives you disgusted looks as though what you've done is THE worst thing in the world... which to be brutally honest really doesn't help the situation... before I carry on, heres a poem a wrote a few years back about self harming: http://www.xafiers-home.com/poems.php?thepoem=Self%20Harm the reasons why I did it are pretty blurred, it was a combination of quite a few things, I spent my entire junior and secondary school life being bullied, due to either the fact I have ginger hair, and/or the fact I was more intelligent than most other kids... besides that fact that just kept building up inside me like a balloon... I was feeling extremly lonely because my two best friends had started to slowly not spend time with me except in school, and I was feeling really upset because every girl I liked just laughed in my face... the first time I self-harmed I was 15 I think... I did it a couple times more whilst at 6th form, then my life perked up a bit when I got a g/f and I slowly started making new friends... then it all went crashing down again when my girlfriend dumped me in a really horrible way... and I ended up self-harming again... ending up with an approx 8 inch scar down my chest... which is still visable to this day I dont think I've done it since that day... it was pretty bad, worse than I'd ever done and I got a new best friend, who eventually became my girlfriend for about 2 years... and during this time I grew up a fair bit, and my mental state improved and I realised that self-harming is counter-productive... the scars bring back memory's which just make things worse... I'm really not sure what advice I can give to help, I've been through it but how I came out of it was just through time really and getting older... I'm still a pretty depressive person, but I have friends now that don't stab me in the back, I've learnt I don't particulally need a girlfriend (even though it's always nice to have one lol)... and I've learned to love greeting everyone and everything with a smile... I never have had therapy, and the only time I've been on anti-depressants was when my grandad died, but that was an entirely different matter... mainly because I was so upset I couldn't sleep... the only thing I can suggest is to find out whats made him do this, although that might be tough... I always found it hard talking to people about my problems, still do really apart from a select few people... but if you can find the problems you can help sort them... maybe he's being bullied? maybe he's feeling really lonely? but tell him that self-harming really isn't the answer, the scars will last for many years if not forever depending on how he did the cuts/burns and how deep... every time I look at the few of mine you can see it makes me regret so badly doing them... anyways hope maybe something I've said helps? and its an even bigger insight into me for all those that know me [edit] oh and another poem about being bullied: http://www.xafiers-home.com/poems.php?thepoem=Un-chosen umm I guess you could say writing poem's was another way I tried to sort my problems... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pdrnsf Posted May 28, 2005 Author Share Posted May 28, 2005 I would firstly like to say thanks for all the pms and posts from people. ‘RobbieLovin’ I can not believe you have the cheek to actually question my motives for doing this? My whole world has just come crashing down around me; can you imagine finding out that your brother felt so alone and desperate that he would deliberately harm himself? I felt like had completely let him down. There is no plea for attention; the reason for posting was out of sheer desperation and worry for my brother. I have no idea how to help him, he is obviously at one of the lowest points in his life and he couldn’t turn to me for help. There is no reason to draw attention to myself, as I don’t ‘know’ anyone from the forum anyway. My brother doesn’t even live in Sheffield, and my signing in name is nothing to do with me, so if he were to see it, which is quite unlikely, then it is again very slim that he would make the connection. If he were to make the connection then what have I to be ashamed of? All I have tried to do is seek a little bit of advice for one of the most important people in my world. I have nothing to be ashamed of, my ‘motives’ are to try and help and understand. Thanks for the backup madowl, its very hurtful for someone who I don’t even know to question the reason for the thread. I thought that would have been obvious to anyone, the fact that my brother has taken to harming himself is the biggest cry for help that he has ever made in his whole life, and it has come as a shock to the whole family. Thanks also to those who have said kind things, I am blaming myself at the moment, as did my mum when she first found out, but that is nothing compared to the pain and suffering that my brother has gone through. Im not saying that I blame myself because I want attention, its because as his older sister I feel like I have totally neglected him at a time when he needed me most. Why am I even justifying myself to you? You don’t even know me, and so you don’t have any right to judge. I will leave it at that. Hels, he hasnt been pescribed anything, he told me that the Dr said if he still feels like this in 6 months then he will pescribe him something. Not really sure what to think about this? Surely if he still feels like this in 6 months, things will have got tonnes worse, and i dont want him to have to go downhill before he can be pescribed anything, but then again ive not heard much support or anti depressent medication. Again, my appreciation to all the pms and posts, this is such a hard thing for us ALL to deal with and concerns are gratefully received. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xafier Posted May 28, 2005 Share Posted May 28, 2005 [edit] Read my post above yours that we posted the same time first .... .... .... try and stay clear of anti-depressants... they just delay problems they dont solve them... I've always been a firm believer in always dealing with my problems and solving them myself, occasionally I have allowed people into my little bubble to help me solve my problems, but generally, my problems are mine... but again, anti-depressants just put you in a state of non-emotion... which is very weird... some people can get hooked on them, they can have side effects... some of which can make depression even worse (go figure!)... I hope you can get through to him, its tough being depressed... you know you want help, and even when people are offering it you you just can't see the light at the end of the tunnel... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tulip Posted May 29, 2005 Share Posted May 29, 2005 Some people NEED anti-depressants! It's a very out dated point of view to say 'stay clear' of them, do what ever works for you. As for having a go at someone for asking for help (RL) - that's totally out of order. Thats why people don't use their real names. The person could be one of a thousand people with a depressed brother:| Counselling doesn't work for some people but for others, it's the answer. Everyone is different. There are no easy solutions and all anyone can do is their best! xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hels Posted May 29, 2005 Share Posted May 29, 2005 It sounds like your brothers GP doesn't want to prescribe anti-depressants just yet - but should your brother feel any worse then he/your mum/you need to make sure he goes back to his GP. Depression is a very individual thing, some people benefit greatly from anti-depressants (i'm one of them) others do not. It really depends on what is the cause of the depression. If someone is in crisis then it may be what they need to get them through a really bad patch. Something to bear in mind is that anti-depressants can have quite alarming side-effects and finding one that is suitable can be difficult. That is probably one of the reasons the GP is holding off from prescribing straight away. I was prescribed Seroxat some years ago and self-harming and suicidal actions were significantly increased when i was on them. I have some unwanted side-effects to my current medication but on the whole - it is the medication that keeps me safe and alive so the side-effects are something I have learned to live with. I know now that I had depression as a child but did not receive any help or support. In that respect, your brother is fortunate because help should be at hand from professionals. It can be a long journey, full of ups and downs, but I really do hope and pray that he will come through this a secure and confident individual. The forum is a good place to seek anonymous help and advice, people who have been through similar things are usually the best to give you support and information. I hope it helps. Good luck. And feel free to PM me if you want more info. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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