Cotton wool kids.How will they cope?

[espadrille]

I came across this although it is a bit out of date, I dont think much has changed since its publication.

 

http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/life_and_style/article689316.ece

 

I wonder what happens to these kids when they are sent out in to the world to either get a job, travel the world( if they are allowed to!) or go to university.

I am sure there must have been research done, but to me the effects on this can be enormously disabling to the child.I think the greatest gift you can give a child is their independance as it is something of a sacrifice on the part of the parent and not easy to do, though most valuable to the child

I know a Mum who was always telling her son to wash his hands as we all have done to a degree when they are small but this was a bit extreme.

I bumped in to this person after not seeing her for a long time. I asked how the family were and she told me that her son was having problems and had obsessions with cleanliness.

 

I know many children who dont do outdoor things as they simply dont like to get wet!!??

I know other kids who if they lost their bus fare on the way home from school they would simply not know what to do.

My daughter told me of an incident like this and she found this hard to understand as she walks to school every day anyway and has never been on a school bus!

 

I remember when I was a kid in the summer holidays we would go out in the morning, come back for lunch, go out in the afternoon, come back for tea and then out again until it was time to get washed and go to bed.

Of course there were no computers then and that is just what kids did.

Thankfully, I passed this on to my kids and are not at all fearfull to go out when they want to, although I do expect them to keep in communication by phone.

[waxonwaxoff]

But then there are also the children that are given to much responsibility and left to bring themselves up. Its a fine line between encouraging independence and shoving your children out of the way. A child learns to be independent by having security and love. Enforced independence and being made to grow up too soon is just as detrimental as molly coddling.

[espadrille]

But then there are also the children that are given to much responsibility and left to bring themselves up. Its a fine line between encouraging independence and shoving your children out of the way. A child learns to be independent by having security and love. Enforced independence and being made to grow up too soon is just as detrimental as molly coddling.

 

As you say it is important to get it right.

[simonmc]

For the likes of me. iv never had to cook or clean for myself.

 

moving out to uni for me was pritty hard in that general kinda area

[Halibut]

Interesting article that articulates many of my own views. One of my pet hates is over-protective parenting. I think it does an enormous amount of damage far more surely than the risks it seeks to eliminate and that we're raising a generation of children who are infantilised and rendered utterly dependent on adults. Children need room to operate independently, to experience life and to cope with a degree of healthy risk. They need to become socially aware and competent, qualities which tend to be a bit lacking when you're shut indoors playing computer games and escorted everywhere you go by parents.

[davi]

A well balanced child has a chip on both shoulders!

[espadrille]

Interesting article that articulates many of my own views. One of my pet hates is over-protective parenting. I think it does an enormous amount of damage far more surely than the risks it seeks to eliminate and that we're raising a generation of children who are infantilised and rendered utterly dependent on adults. Children need room to operate independently, to experience life and to cope with a degree of healthy risk. They need to become socially aware and competent, qualities which tend to be a bit lacking when you're shut indoors playing computer games and escorted everywhere you go by parents.

yes. This eliminates the chance of them ever having to make decisions and when they do they dont know how to do it.

I know as I was one of those, and was determined my own kids would not be like that.

[espadrille]

This was posted a year ago, and from what I hear from some parents things have not improved.

What age do you think it is okay to allow your daughter /son to walk to school on their own?

What age do you think it is okay to allow your kid/teen to go to town on a bus by themselves?

What age do you think it is okay for them to start managing money themselves?

 

These are some of the subjects that when answered can determine how our children's start to adulthood progresses.

 

Some parents still give lifts to their children at 20 year old as they deem it unsafe to be out on their own at night in certain areas.

What do parents think about this rather controversial subject?

[Suffragette1]

I agree with Halibut, you have to get some sense of perspective and allow them to gradually develop some independence, social and risk awareness, self-confidence and to just grow.

 

It's a very emotive issue and there are strong views on both sides. I got some ridiculous flak on here for allowing my 12 year old son to go to the local park on his own with his mates, in fact I was pegged as the next Kate and Gerry McCann.

 

It will obviously vary from child to child and will depend on their maturity. My son is very mature and sensible, he has a mobile phone, so is contactable, and has flourished with his new found taste of independence.

[bagger]

This was posted a year ago, and from what I hear from some parents things have not improved.

What age do you think it is okay to allow your daughter /son to walk to school on their own?

What age do you think it is okay to allow your kid/teen to go to town on a bus by themselves?

What age do you think it is okay for them to start managing money themselves?

 

These are some of the subjects that when answered can determine how our children's start to adulthood progresses.

 

Some parents still give lifts to their children at 20 year old as they deem it unsafe to be out on their own at night in certain areas.

What do parents think about this rather controversial subject?

 

There's no concrete answer to any of these questions as it completely depends on the child.

One of my daughters is extremely sensible the other wanders around in a dream half the time.

My eldest daughter, who is now 18 started catching the tram to school when she went up to All Saints on Granville Road, prior to that the school is opposite our house so there wasn't an issue there. I think she was about 13/14 when she started going into town with her friends. But that was 'allowed' when she felt ready. It just so happened she didn't feel ready until that age.

 

It is unsafe to be out at night in certain areas for both adults and teenagers and so lifts/taxis would be organised at night.

 

There's no doubt that some parents do wrap their children up in cotton wool but I think the majority don't.

The bottom line is that there are many aspects of parenting that we all differ on. I don't believe in tvs and dvd players etc in bedrooms yet many kids have them. I reckon most parents are doing their very best but I'm sure most of us will make a mistake or two along the way.