discodown Posted June 13, 2010 Share Posted June 13, 2010 This is an interesting one. My sister was having huge problems with her eldest regarding money. I told her to give her the money she would usually have spent on her at the beginning of the month and let her manage her own money but that she wasn't to have any more. Took a couple of months but it solved the problem (niece was 14 at theis point) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rupert_Baehr Posted June 13, 2010 Share Posted June 13, 2010 For the likes of me. iv never had to cook or clean for myself. moving out to uni for me was pritty hard in that general kinda area Which University do you go to? Were the entrance requirements difficult to meet? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phanerothyme Posted June 13, 2010 Share Posted June 13, 2010 Which University do you go to? Were the entrance requirements difficult to meet? Why have you capitalised 'university'? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dogs Of War Posted June 13, 2010 Share Posted June 13, 2010 Interesting article that articulates many of my own views. One of my pet hates is over-protective parenting. I think it does an enormous amount of damage far more surely than the risks it seeks to eliminate and that we're raising a generation of children who are infantilised and rendered utterly dependent on adults. Children need room to operate independently, to experience life and to cope with a degree of healthy risk. They need to become socially aware and competent, qualities which tend to be a bit lacking when you're shut indoors playing computer games and escorted everywhere you go by parents. but as well as giving them their independence , they also need firm strict disipline from the parents . if they step out of line they need jumping on hard otherwise they will grow up ferrel , as we see on our streets today , many thousands of ferrel , hoodie`s with no respect for society. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Suffragette1 Posted June 13, 2010 Share Posted June 13, 2010 but as well as giving them their independence , they also need firm strict disipline from the parents . if they step out of line they need jumping on hard otherwise they will grow up ferrel , as we see on our streets today , many thousands of ferrel , hoodie`s with no respect for society. Indeed, there is a balance and there is a difference between sloppy and lazy parenting and fostering a sense of independence and preparing them for adulthood and the real world. As parents, it is our role to instil a good moral framework and encourage them to be independent thinkers as well as equip them with the tools to deal with adulthood, in my view. Sometimes that means doing what is best for them, even though as a parent, you want to do the opposite. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
espadrille Posted June 13, 2010 Author Share Posted June 13, 2010 yes. And I think that it is so important that they have to take risks as this is really how we all learn. If we never take a risk then our lives would be pretty dull wouldn't it, If we sat down and looked at our actions as adults and the decisions we make on a daily basis, we are all actually taking risks. Obviously some of us take many more than others. I do think that I am a bit of a risk taker, not doing things like abseiling or such like but doing things sometimes where in the past, I have not thought through all the possibilities, but hey i really did learn from these experiences. My daughter has just come in soaking wet from Endcliffe park,having gone out without a coat or a umbrella. The consequences of that are clear, but she said to me... It will teach me that next time I go out it wont be without a coat or an umbrella! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chimay Posted June 13, 2010 Share Posted June 13, 2010 but as well as giving them their independence , they also need firm strict disipline from the parents . if they step out of line they need jumping on hard otherwise they will grow up ferrel , as we see on our streets today , many thousands of ferrel , hoodie`s with no respect for society. A friend of mine who is a nursery nurse made a thought provoking comment the other day. She said that as so many babies go to nursery full time, then school, after school clubs etc full time whilst their parents go out to work the parents only get to be parents when they are on holidays. So these parents are not developing parenting skills or realise that their lifestyles have to change when they've got kids. Some parents are glad to get the kids out of the house in an evening so that they can have their own social lives without interference. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vwkittie Posted June 13, 2010 Share Posted June 13, 2010 I would answer 11 to those questions, providing the child wasn't an idiot. I say that because that's when I started doing those things, as that's when I went to high school. We had the ceremonial giving of the house key thing! My own house key meant I could get myself to and from school and go out with friends myself. Not so much managing money though as I was never given pocket money, but I was encouraged to save birthday money etc and spend it wisely I suppose. Incidentally, despite the lack of pocket money I'm good at managing my money and don't feel the need to spend money on rubbish. I was allowed out to the local park with my sister (who is 2 years older than me) a lot earlier than that. I can't remember not being allowed so it must have been quite early. If I had a child I'd treat them the same as I was brought up, a combination of firm discipline but with the freedom to go out and have a life. Probably instilling discipline from a very early age creates a foundation of a sensible child who will use freedom wisely and not get themselves in to trouble (most of the time ) Totally agree with Bagger no child of mine would ever have a TV, Xbox, PC in their room. No chance! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rupert_Baehr Posted June 13, 2010 Share Posted June 13, 2010 Why have you capitalised 'university'? Force of Habit. In the Language I from Day to Day speak, all Nouns capital Letters have. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
espadrille Posted June 13, 2010 Author Share Posted June 13, 2010 I would answer 11 to those questions, providing the child wasn't an idiot. I say that because that's when I started doing those things, as that's when I went to high school. We had the ceremonial giving of the house key thing! My own house key meant I could get myself to and from school and go out with friends myself. Not so much managing money though as I was never given pocket money, but I was encouraged to save birthday money etc and spend it wisely I suppose. Incidentally, despite the lack of pocket money I'm good at managing my money and don't feel the need to spend money on rubbish. I was allowed out to the local park with my sister (who is 2 years older than me) a lot earlier than that. I can't remember not being allowed so it must have been quite early. If I had a child I'd treat them the same as I was brought up, a combination of firm discipline but with the freedom to go out and have a life. Probably instilling discipline from a very early age creates a foundation of a sensible child who will use freedom wisely and not get themselves in to trouble (most of the time ) Totally agree with Bagger no child of mine would ever have a TV, Xbox, PC in their room. No chance! It is great when you have had good guidance from your parents.teaching kids how to be independent can be tough as a :Dparent but that is what we are here for! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.