For a Rainy Day

[Sir_Nigel]

They tell me I oughta

save water.

But I’m just not shorta

water.

 

The reservoir is bursting,

the roads are in flood

It seems like this downpour

has settled in for good.

 

But they still say I oughta

be good and save water.

 

One day in the future, I’ve heard people tell

You may have to walk 15 miles to a well.

You’ll queue for 2 hours, they earnestly said

And carry it back in a jug on your head.

 

Or wait at a pump

in some shanty town dump

to be jostled by sentries

in a murderous grump.

 

That sounds pretty bleak

Had me blue for a week

But then I revived my rebellious streak.

 

I won’t block up the drain

and then use it again

just ‘cos they’re forecasting bugger all rain.

 

I will wallow and bathe

and perhaps misbehave -

soak a girl with a hosepipe.

Cos the water won’t save.

 

It’s not like a bank

It won’t keep in the tank

‘Cos if you don’t use it,

it goes fetid and rank.

 

I’ll spray it and splash it

And fight to the last

before girls in wet T shirts are a thing of the past.

 

Don’t call it a crime

for in 30 years time

it’ll be teeming with tadpoles and covered in slime

 

And then when I’m ancient I will horrify kids

With scandalous tales of what bad Grandpa did

They’ll cry:

What? You did what?

With what???

Surely not.

 

…God it’s hot.

 

 

I suppose I’ll be sprightly though not quite all there

in a worn floppy hat in an old garden chair

 

Mildly fixated, as my story suggests,

with clinging damp cotton on large golden breasts.

 

My attitudes now I may yet come to rue

Will I wish that I’d hoarded a bucket or two,

 

regretting my stance with a penitent tear ?

Or will I still think it’s a silly idea.

[SUGARPLUMKIN]

Hi!

 

I like your poem.

 

You are very talented.

 

You should try and get it published as there are so many different organisations, etc that promote renewable energy, save the planet, etc, etc.

 

Kind regards

 

Lisa xx

[maidinsheff]

Hi Sir Nigel

 

I like the idea and context of this poem but felt that it lost direction and I am not quite sure what you were trying to achieve with it or of the point you were trying to make. The metre and form are wrong in some places and make it awkward to read as it does not flow - a bit like bumping over the cobbles -try reading it aloud and you will see what I mean.

 

Water is something we take absolutely for granted in this country and we abuse it without thought - just find the nearest stream and have a look at the junk thrown into it. My god if we had to depend on such streams as the source of life!

 

Maidinsheff

[yesugei]

I think it's a da de da de da poem. I like it, it's light, unpretentious, clever and not trying to be any thing else. I hope the poet isn't insulted.

[coyleys]

Hi Nigel, I liked it; it’s what I call a fun poem.

 

Maidinsheff was right in her comments, but at the end of the day what do we want? We could go on all day talking about metres, stressed syllables and the likes, if we want to be the next poet laureate. Personally, I think poetry should be fun.

However, it is important that everyone should read and understand the rules of poetry, once we have digested them, then tear the buggers up and have fun.

 

This is a poem originally posted on the forum by Phaedrus back in Jan 2007.

 

 

 

THE RULES OF POETRY

by

Douglas Florian

 

Keep it short.

Leave it long.

Use bad grammar.

Spell words wrong.

Let the letters

All f

a

l

l

down.

Print a few lines

Upside down.

Change the rhythm.

Never rhyme.

Force the meter

All the time.

Find your keys.

Lose your tools.

By the way --

THERE ARE NO RULES!

[maidinsheff]

Oi Coyleys!

 

I take it that Douglas Florian is/was an American with his meter 'as in gas meter'! I totally agree with you. You can muck about with the rules when you know them. Picasso trained as an artist long before he started his unique cubist style and although people insist that a chimpanzee could paint better they cannot. Poetry isn't about chucking words onto a page any more than art is about chucking paint onto a canvas - the artsy fartsy world may kid themselves into believing half a cow in formaldehyde is art but does it wash with you? I think ordinary people are an awful lot more discerning than 'Art Critics' ever are. I thought Sir Nigel's poem was great and has even greater potential if he pays attention to the metre and form (the lack of it would certainly be picked up on by any potential publisher) - learning the tools of the trade is the hard bit but worth every moment of study. I started from 'ground zero' to coin a phrase and I am passionate about the English language and have a profound love of British poetry in all it's guises. Poetry is like a bottle of scent or a good wine. You need to be captivated by it, by the idea, the feeling, the moment, whatever is being expressed. Whether the poem is sad, tragic, funny, ironic it doesn't matter but in the real world poetry has a hard time. Most people's eyes glaze over when poetry is mentioned. Ever heard Tennyson's droning voice? Geilgud could bore the scales off a fish when it came to reciting poetry. I am sure he put most people off poetry forever with his ability to render even the cleverest poem droll! That's why poetry has to be top notch; any imperfections are a complete turn off.

 

I disagree with Florian - THERE ARE RULES - and I am damned sure he knows them inside out!

[maidinsheff]

Ooh another thought. There is no new water on the Earth. Oh god it has been recycled through dinosaurs!

[Sir_Nigel]

Strict metre and form

may be seen as the norm

but it shouldn’t always be

just diddle diddle dee.

Go out on a limb

for a lark or a whim

who cares if they sniff

as you improvise and riff

as long as you’ve said

what goes on in your head,

avoided cliché

and you like it that way.

[Ron Blanco]

Picasso trained as an artist long before he started his unique cubist style and although people insist that a chimpanzee could paint better they cannot.

 

Apparently, a monkey painting randomly for an infinite amount of time will almost surely produce a picasso. So if you like Guernica, but can't afford to buy it, why not invest in a monkey instead?

[coyleys]

But have ‘we’ got an infinite amount of time to wait for the monkey to produce the goods? My bus goes at 6.