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Why do old people wear beige clothes?


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Warning - When I Am an Old Woman I Shall Wear Purple

 

By Jenny Joseph

 

 

 

 

 

 

When I am an old woman, I shall wear purple

 

with a red hat that doesn't go, and doesn't suit me.

 

And I shall spend my pension on brandy and summer gloves

 

and satin candles, and say we've no money for butter.

 

I shall sit down on the pavement when I am tired

 

and gobble up samples in shops and press alarm bells

 

and run my stick along the public railings

 

and make up for the sobriety of my youth.

 

I shall go out in my slippers in the rain

 

and pick the flowers in other people's gardens

 

and learn to spit.

 

 

 

You can wear terrible shirts and grow more fat

 

and eat three pounds of sausages at a go

 

or only bread and pickles for a week

 

and hoard pens and pencils and beer nuts and things in boxes.

 

 

 

But now we must have clothes that keep us dry

 

and pay our rent and not swear in the street

 

and set a good example for the children.

 

We must have friends to dinner and read the papers.

 

But maybe I ought to practice a little now?

 

So people who know me are not too shocked and surprised

 

When suddenly I am old, and start to wear purple.

 

 

Anyone want to sell me a purple coat in readiness for my old age?

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Something I have noticed over the years is that old people tend to only wear clothes of a certain colour, mainly beige. I have seen this lots, especially with the men, but can't work out why. Is that shade of brown seen as fashionable in the oap circles? Or is it, brown is a good shade to cover those accidents that come with old age?

 

Fill me in... I want to know.

 

The shade you refer to is known, by those of a certain age, as Pensioners' Putty.

Examples of this 'fashion debacle' or 'statement of intent' can be found daily at any Newsagent near you between the hours of 5 and 6 am. They tend to rise(and I use that term loosely)early to check to see if they're still alive.

Other examples can be found at any bus stop before 9.30:Outside any Post Office, hours before opening time (especially on pension day.......just in case ): In M&S anywhere between 12 and 2, especially the Food Hall: In any small Bakery on the planet between 12-2 (whilst the working populace are trying to buy a sarni for lunch and leg it back to work) because 'they like it fresh' and in any Supermarket on a Friday night or Saturday morning.

 

And don't get me started on Saga holidays or Shearings...........pensioners' will queue for hours at any point if you tell them to. It must be because of the War. Funnily enough, they all seem to wear the same shade of putty..............

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Something I have noticed over the years is that old people tend to only wear clothes of a certain colour, mainly beige. I have seen this lots, especially with the men, but can't work out why. Is that shade of brown seen as fashionable in the oap circles? Or is it, brown is a good shade to cover those accidents that come with old age?

 

Fill me in... I want to know.

 

Yes I've noticed every generation of old person has warn similar clothing. Even if as teenagers they were the inovating generation of fashion?

 

Does a brown parcel containing the clothing come in the post from the government when you claim the state pension?

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Old people wear beige to hide stains, simple as that.

 

Plus when you get to a certain age opening the wardrobe and seeing neon pink could easily lead to a heart attack!

 

Sauce! :rant:

 

Beige doesn't hide stains - you need dark brown for that!

 

But it was entertaining walking round Blue Banana yesterday, a vision in beige, and being asked by smirking shop assistants if I needed any help! :hihi:

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