Damon Posted July 19, 2005 Share Posted July 19, 2005 My wife was walking to school with my little boy the other morning - in Liverpool, I should add - when she became aware of a front door opening just ahead of her. A leathery old satchel of a woman emerged from within, clearly in some mild state of distress. It was refuse-collection day, and she had forgotten to put out her wheelie bin. Anxious to discover whether the bin men had already been, she yelled across the street to one of my son's classmates - who is all of 5 years old - and in the shriekiest voice imaginable, requested, "CHEKKK DAT BIN DERE WILL YER LAD?" (Translation: Excuse me young man, would you mind inspecting that wheeled bin to ascertain whether or not it is empty). As soon as she opened her mouth, my wife realised she was staring at Margi Clarke herself. So if anyone would like me to administer a 'Kirkby Kiss' on their behalf, I do know where she lives. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
timo Posted July 19, 2005 Author Share Posted July 19, 2005 Damon, I was just thinking of you re the Liverpool reference! Margi must live in a fairly affluent area, as in local parlance, she is 'minted' [translation:- financially well-off]. This amusing vignette cannot possibly have taken place in Toxteth. I'd hazard a guess and say, Maghull, Lydiate, Blundellsands, or maybe south L'pool, like Childwall perhaps? Is your son traumatised by the experience? I can imagine he had nightmares about 'the nasty lady' for days afterwards, the poor lad. Margi's horrible, in-bred features could turn milk sour. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JonJParr Posted July 19, 2005 Share Posted July 19, 2005 Timo, May we please slap Jude Law with a stupendous amount of force in light of his sordid affair with the nanny of his children. Additionally, why would you ever cheat on Sienna Miller? I think he should book an MRI scan with haste; following the slap of course. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Siân Posted July 19, 2005 Share Posted July 19, 2005 MOD: Please restrict the insults to the celebs rather than aim them at each other Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
timo Posted July 19, 2005 Author Share Posted July 19, 2005 Jon, We can slap anybody you wish, my friend! One severe, tooth-crumbling, hearing-impairing, neuralgia-inducing, humiliating, walloping big slap to the face of that loathsome creature. Like the MRI quip! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Damon Posted July 19, 2005 Share Posted July 19, 2005 Timo, It was close to Dovedale Infants school (John Lennon's alma mater dontcha know!) just off Penny Lane. So yes, south Liverpool - Allerton or Mossley Hill I suppose. I hesitate to give you any more precise information, as I fear you may genuinely be planning a personal visit! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
timo Posted July 19, 2005 Author Share Posted July 19, 2005 Damon, No, I have no desire for intimacy with 'our Margi'. I might have known she would be living in 'Lennonland'- leafy suburbs near Hope college. Not such a bad place to live, Damon my boy. It is far too middle class and genteel for Margi, though. I would have thought she would have preferred somewhere a little grittier, like the Dingle, where the 'Rentman' occasions terror, barefoot children stone the 'bizzies' [translation:- the police force], and life expectancy is 28. I once saw Margi in the charming, olde worlde Saint John's Shopping Centre [named after the Patron Saint of Incapacity Benefit]. She let forth a blizzard of obscenities at a male companion, probably called 'Mooey' or 'Leggo' or some such 'scouse' nomme de plume. Even the roughest of the rough there looked appalled. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Abdul Posted July 19, 2005 Share Posted July 19, 2005 Originally posted by Damon Timo, It was close to Dovedale Infants school (John Lennon's alma mater dontcha know!) just off Penny Lane. So yes, south Liverpool - Allerton or Mossley Hill I suppose. I am surprised. I would've thought she'd have done a 'Cilla' and scarpered off to the relative security (ho ho) of a mansion in Berkshire or somewhere else like many other 'Professional Scousers'. No wonder that house prices in Liverpool are relatively good value for money! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Abdul Posted July 19, 2005 Share Posted July 19, 2005 Originally posted by timo I once saw Margi in the charming, olde worlde Saint John's Shopping Centre [named after the Patron Saint of Incapacity Benefit]. And what were you doing in there, timo ?! Just taking a shortcut from Lime Street station to Bold Street yourself ?! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sezzler Posted July 19, 2005 Share Posted July 19, 2005 James **** Blunt, what has happened in the world? What did we do so wrong, how has this bland seemingly talentless shoe gazer managed to reach number one in both the singles and albums charts? Who buys it...... WHO i ask ya! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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