Who has the most slappable face in entertainment?

[timo]

Tubthump,

Never mind the three Michelin Stars, Ramsay is a hectoring, bullying oaf who deserves to have his sub-navel region kicked to pulp.

 

I agree re Peter Kaye's irritating 'Garlic bread' catchphrase. I am a fan of his Phoenix Nights programmes, especially the bestiality-obsessed Fire Safety Officer, Keith Lard. However, as a 'stand-up', I think Kaye's 'Weren't we all daft back in the early 80s' routine is rather limited and unfunny. We can slap him for that, if you wish?

[Abdul]

Originally posted by timo

Abdul,

I thought you knew I lived near Liverpool [sheffield ex-pat]? I occasionally venture into the Saint John's Centre for a bit of ethnographic anthropological research.

 

Yes, but I can't imagine Margi Clarke ever 'shimmying down Boldy' to experience its cultural delights... however I could imagine her waddling up Bold Street (from St Johns) to shop at its selection of £1 stores (and I believe there's still a 50p shop for the real peasants).

[noseyrosie]

Paris Hilton!

 

END OF.

[DanSumption]

Originally posted by noseyrosie

Paris Hilton!

 

END OF.

Anyone else see Popbitch's report of Ricky Gervais's backstage encounter with Paris Hilton at Live8?

 

>> When Ricky met Paris <<

Miss Hilton gets a mouthful

 

Backstage at Live8 Ricky Gervais was at the

side of the stage. Paris Hilton walked up to

him and said how much she liked his stuff.

 

Ricky: "Have we met before?"

Paris "Yes. I'm Paris Hilton"

Ricky "Oh, sorry Paris, I didn't recognise you

without a c*ck in your mouth."

 

Exit Paris in a huff.

[timo]

Abdul,

Actually, old bean, I have had the great misfortune to witness Margi Clarke 'shimmying', waddling, running [in that odd, bandy-legged way of hers], and staggering both up and down the bohemian Liverpool street she fondly calls 'Boldy'. As previously stated, I have witnesed her unleash a blizzard of obscenity [aimed at a male companion- some pimply swain, no doubt Bootle's 'most eligible batchelor'] in the Saint John's Centre, named after the Patron Saint of Incapacity Benefit. I have also seen her in charming, sex-maniac-haunted Sefton Park, feeding ducks. There appeared to be a certain reluctance on the part of the ducks to eat the bread offered by the chisel-faced, gimlet-eyed 'actress' and 'celebrity'. Ah ey, she's a luvly gerl, our Margi- nobody likes 'er, but she's a luvly gerl.

[DanSumption]

Originally posted by timo

I have also seen her in charming, sex-maniac-haunted Sefton Park, feeding ducks.

My sister got married in charming, sex-maniac haunted Sefton park:

http://www.wavepeople.com/wedd1.jpg

 

Actually, this photo is probably more appropriate for the area:

http://www.wavepeople.com/wedd2.jpg

[saxon51]

Geoff Boycott:thumbsup:

 

Couldn't you just slap him with a breeze block when he's giving his 'I'm the greatest cricketer who ever existed' speeches.

[timo]

Dan,

Thanks for the amusing photos there. LOL! Especially the second one featuring 'the bizzies' [translation; the police force]. There is an even worse park in Toxteth. I have only ever seen it from the safety of a car , and I imagine that it is the scene of rakehelly mayhem when night falls. Only a fool would walk through such a place alone, without a band of stout companions and perhaps a Bull Terrier or two for protection against cutpurses, hooded footpads and gangs of roaming, demented, angry and unwanted young poets and playwrights. Theirs is another world, of which a velvet-suited soul such as I can be expected to know little. They are merely blurred images seen from the window of a luxurious automobile. Long may it be so.

 

Saxon51,

Boycott is an oaf and an aggressive one at that. After meeting him, the Psychiatrist Anthony Clare famously revised his opinion to the ends that 'no man is an island'. He is singularly charmless, and I suggest that we lay into his unpleasant, boorish, egotistical face with his own cricket bat. Afterwards, as a final gesture, we could break it over his deformed skull.

[DanSumption]

Timo,

 

I think I know the Toxteth park that you mean. My sister used to live just down the road from there. There's a very long side-street that runs along the side of it, A friend and I were walking down there late one night, we could hear music in the distance. As we walked down the street, the music got louder and louder, and we could feel the ground shaking. "Wow! Some party" we said to one another. Eventually, about half-a-mile later, we reached the scene of the "party". It was actually a red BMW with a rather powerful stereo system.

[Abdul]

Sir, I have to take issue with both of these points:

 

Originally posted by timo

...charming, sex-maniac-haunted Sefton Park...

 

I've been to Sefton Park many times and saw nothing remotely sex-maniac related (but then, I did always visit in daytime or perhaps I'm just not as good-looking as I thought ). It's a lovely park, much prettier and friendlier than my 'local' park when I spent a decade in Liverpool, Newsham.

 

I was climbing a tree in Newsham Park (as you do, when you're in your mid-twenties) and some inbred 'young, angry, unwanted' scouse girl walked to the bottom of my tree, and in that horrid nasal tone enhanced by a young lifetimes' worth of parental abuse screeched:

 

"Worrer you lukhin aht?"

 

"Er, nothing" was my surprised reply.

 

Well, she probably had a very difficult childhood, what with her mum and dad being brother and sister.

 

Originally posted by timo

There is an even worse park in Toxteth. I have only ever seen it from the safety of a car , and I imagine that it is the scene of rakehelly mayhem when night falls. Only a fool would walk through such a place alone, without a band of stout companions and perhaps a Bull Terrier or two for protection against cutpurses, hooded footpads and gangs of roaming, demented, angry and unwanted young poets and playwrights.

 

Is this the park at the end of Princes Road? That too is a lovely park. In the daytime at least. It's quite safe to walk through as well. Believe it or not, scallies and hoodies tend to stay away from parks, libraries, museums and other places that cultured and learned fellows such as you and I would frequent.

 

And I do like that Salvador Dali at the Liverpool Tate, no matter what you think