Who has the most slappable face in entertainment?

[DanSumption]

Originally posted by timo

Christa, by the way, bears the look of the sharp-featured, high cheek- boned, Bronze Age 'Beaker Folk'. If only that great ethnographer and physical anthropologist, John Beddoe were alive today. In Christa the great man could see for himself the genetic survival of a 'primitive' stock amidst a population largely of Northumbrian Angle origins. I will wager that Christa's blood group is O Negative. Trust me, Timo knows about such things...

I've heard of an Acute Angle, a Right Angle and an Obtuse Angle, but never a Northumbrian Angle. Is that some sort of negative angle or something?

 

My sister wrote her dissertation on the Beaker Folk. I think.

[Unisol]

My turn: -

 

- Michael Barrymore

 

- Geri Halliwell

 

- Victoria Beckham (well overdue)

 

- Abi Titmuss

 

- My neighbour

 

- Jade Goody

 

 

Can't think of anyone else i hate at the present time, but i may get back to you later.

[Fareast]

Reading everybody's suggestions as regards t.v announcers reminds me of two more who deserve everlasting , good , sound slaps across their chops with either a dirty dishcloth or a pair of John Prescott's Y fronts.

Unfortunately , I don't know their names so I can't report them to the Human Rights people.

One , used to be [perhaps still is ?] a news announcer with CNN. I swear that for minutes on end he never blinked. He simply stared into the camera. His eyes were like two barrels of a gun pointing at you. Very unnerving !

The other one performs now , on Chinese T.V , English Channel 9 and does the weather forecast. I say , "performs" as there's no other word for it.

He leaps about in front of the camera like that bloke who does the ," Swingometer" at U.K. election times. He's always got a big , silly grin on his big , silly face. He still grins when he's talking about dangerous flooding , "threatened all over South West China " , as though it was a huge joke. When he's , "doing" the rest of Asia , he manages to dismiss all of India and the Middle East in about 2 seconds flat and Eastern Russia in 1 second ------all in an incomprehensible gabble.

I try to imagine the Chinese saying to one another ,

" Must take my umbrella , it's raining in India again ".

Where do they get such tripe-hounds as these ? Must be the T.V. Station Owner's nephews , I should think.

[BorisMarakas]

dale winton ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh:partyhat: :partyhat: :partyhat: :

[DaBouncer]

Johnathan Ross.

I'd love to bitch slap that pompus arse for sure.

 

Failing that I'd settle for Terry Wogan

[timo]

Yet another one; Tori Amos, the American singer and musical entertainer. I rather like dear old John Lydon's nickname for her; 'Torrid Aimless'. She is a kind of 'lite' version of Kate Bush, writing semi-autobiographical songs based around keyboards. However, her work lacks the inventiveness, scope and depth of Bush's best material.

 

 

I heard her on Jonathan Ross's Saturday show on Radio Two, whilst in the car. Amos's wildly out of key, rather shrill voice extolling 'the power of orange knickers' almost caused a serious road accident. Amos's swooping, shriekingly earnest voice conveying such ludicrous lyrics reduced us to hysterics. That aside, what in God's name is empowering about 'orange knickers'?! Black, lace ones I can understand. They must make the wearer feel rather sensual and 'sexy'. Or so I am told, having no experience whatsoever of ever having donned them in public or in private. Honestly. But orange knickers? Uuugh!

 

So, let me recommend Tori Amos for a severe, neuralgia-inducing slapping. Afterwards, we might jam the orange knickers over her pretentious, self-important American head, pelting her with out of date eggs.

[sugarnspice]

Graham Norton, Sharon from Eastenders, Dick & Dom (which one is which is somehow irrelevant), Des O Connor. That'll do for now.

[LordSnooty]

Originally posted by timo

'the power of orange knickers'

 

I also laughed uproariously, and in disbelief, when I heard this remarkable song. It induced the same mixed feelings - of incredulity, nausea and sorrow that such things exist- which well up within me whenever I encounter the priggish, condescending, over-egged twaddle peddled by you and your 'straight man' Lord Chav on this very forum.

[timo]

Snooty,

You are a strange man. Underneath the contrived 'genial' image there lies a burning anger. It expresses itself occasionally in 'flamings' like the one you have just posted. Why bother? You always end up feeling sorry for yourself, and sending a contrite personal message like last time. You described yourself last time as 'a fat fool'. You obviously are not lacking in self-knowledge, so let us build upon it. Why not admit, like you did in your personal message, that you feel 'threatened' by the kind of debate Lord Chaverly and I engage in? You 'felt left out' last time. What has irked you this time?

 

I will tell you what it is. You fancy yourself as a 'wit', and do not like anyone else making humorous comments. This thread is a humorous thread, and by the look of it, one that many enjoy. The target is celebrities, not other posters. If it were, I can think of a tremendously long list of posters who would like to slap your fat jowls. Go away.

[nick2]

The pair of you are like those two on the muppet show that sat in the box shouting "rubbish, get off, you stink !"