Who has the most slappable face in entertainment?

[DanSumption]

I thought they started 'em young on the Glass Bead Game. If timo's coming to it at this stage in life and is already being touted as the next Magister Ludi, his must be a phenomenal intellect indeed.

 

Speaking of glass beads, and going back (almost) to the original topic of the thread, many of the punishments suggested here remind me of Zoogz Rift's track "The Secret Marines Sex Kitten Beach Party" from his album Torment. In it, Zoogz tells the story of how his father was captured by the Viet Cong and put in a hut in the jungle, where they tied his limbs to either end of the room and lay him on a floor made of large beads, like a huge abacus. Every day they would roll him back and forth across the floor until his bones turned to jelly and he was stretched to the length of the room, by which point they used to roll him up like a rug in between torture sessions.

 

Anyway, I'd had that on my mind for a while, and was wondering whether anyone could think of any celebrities for whom such a punishment would be particularly suitable?

[LordChaverly]

Originally posted by DanSumption

I thought they started 'em young on the Glass Bead Game. If timo's coming to it at this stage in life and is already being touted as the next Magister Ludi, his must be a phenomenal intellect indeed.

 

Well, if you read Hesse's great work you will know that the Glass Bead Game in Castalia is performed well into adulthood (those who fail are offered posts as university professors). And yes, Timo does indeed have a 'phenomenal intellect', as those familiar with his posts on this forum will know. What he does not exhibit in his posts, contrary to one of your previous comments, is 'hate and pent up aggression' - perhaps you are confusing him with another poster, perhaps even with yourself.

[DanSumption]

Originally posted by LordChaverly

What he does not exhibit in his posts, contrary to one of your previous comments, is 'hate and pent up aggression' - perhaps you are confusing him with another poster, perhaps even with yourself.

Are you saying that he slaps people out of the kindness of his heart?

[foo_fighter]

Originally posted by DanSumption

...Anyway, I'd had that on my mind for a while, and was wondering whether anyone could think of any celebrities for whom such a punishment would be particularly suitable?

Erm, I think that's the point of the thread, refer back to the very first line, of the very first post

Originally posted by timo

Who would you most like to slap in the face...

Everyone else managed to grasp that little point.

 

[LordChaverly]

Originally posted by DanSumption

Are you saying that he slaps people out of the kindness of his heart?

 

Well, prior to administering condign punishment with a large and fearsome cane, one of my teachers used to say: 'this is going to hurt me more than it hurts you'. Moreover, the objects of Timo's ire on this particular thread not only deserve a good rigorous slapping, but if the slapping is sufficiently severe and shriek-making, they might lope off into obscurity, meaning that Timo has thereby performed a kindness to the rest of humanity.

[DanSumption]

Originally posted by foo_fighter

Erm, I think that's the point of the thread, refer back to the very first line, of the very first post

No, the point of the thread is to suggest celebrities you would like to slap, as you yourself just pointed out.

 

I was asking which celebrities you would like to roll out repeatedly on a floor made of beads, day after day until their bones turn to jelly and they become a human carpet. There is a difference, albeit a subtle one.

[feargal]

An excellent reason to resume the nominations LordC!

 

I propose Snoop Dogg. His lascivious manner and over-use of shiny tracksuits gets on my wires. Slap him 'til his plaits rattle. Alternatively, we could stretch him on Dan's giant floor abacus until his plaits become entwined in it and are plucked out, one by one.

[foo_fighter]

Originally posted by DanSumption

...I was asking which celebrities you would like to roll out repeatedly on a floor made of beads, day after day until their bones turn to jelly and they become a human carpet. There is a difference, albeit a subtle one.

Well go start your own thread entitled

 

"Which celebrities would you like to roll out repeatedly on a floor made of beads, day after day until their bones turn to jelly and they become a human carpet?"

 

then, and stop trying to highjack this one.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[DanSumption]

Originally posted by foo_fighter

Well go start your own thread entitled

 

"Which celebrities would you like to roll out repeatedly on a floor made of beads, day after day until their bones turn to jelly and they become a human carpet?"

Damn, I just tried it and the title was too long for the textbox. So, given the number of non-slap related tortures already suggested on this thread (most of them by that famously loving pacifist timo), I suggest we get the mods to change the title of this thread to something like "celebrity torture free-for-all".

[foo_fighter]

Originally posted by DanSumption

...I suggest we get the mods to change the title of this thread to something like "celebrity torture free-for-all".

 

Cool !