Abdul Posted June 28, 2005 Share Posted June 28, 2005 Originally posted by timo Is this the best thread on Sheffield Forum or what?! Dear Timo I think you are suffering from a(nother) mid life crisis. Please call The Samaritans on 0845 7909 090 for a confidential chat. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
timo Posted June 28, 2005 Author Share Posted June 28, 2005 Thankyou Abdul, for your kind concern . These obsessive states, revealing a terrifying pathology and sadistic propensity, just come and go. I have tried 'Quiet Life' tablets to no avail. Admit it, though, isn't there a celebrity you would like to wallop? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Abdul Posted June 28, 2005 Share Posted June 28, 2005 There's quite a few people I'd like to slap, but none of them are on television. If there's someone so obnoxious on the goggle box that makes me want to put my foot through it, I'll switch it off and drink a nice strong cup of tea sweetened with mint leaves. As the popular theme tune went: "Why don't you...just switch off your tv set and go out and do something less boring instead?" Come to think of it, that smug git and his wife who were involved in the cash for questions scandal don't need so much a slap as a brick in the face. Neil and Pristine Christine Hamilton Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LordSnooty Posted June 28, 2005 Share Posted June 28, 2005 Llwellyn-Bowen Good call, Lord C. This man is an imbecile. 'His' wallpaper designs (he's probably never seen them because he doesn't go to Wickes) are atrocious. Not content with selling his name and (god save us) likeness to promote patterned lav paper, he also condescends to 'educate' us re. the finer points of interior design history, whilst flouncing around someone's lounge spraying an old twig gold, hanging it from their light fitting and saying things like, 'a baroque flourish'. I'd like to see him sprayed gold and hung from someone's light fitting - by the neck, until dead. Has anyone mentioned his brother-in-arse Diamund Gavin (soz about spelling). This man needs serious speech therapy....and a spade in the face. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LordSnooty Posted June 28, 2005 Share Posted June 28, 2005 Oh rats, Adbul, you beat me to the 'alternative to slap' gag. I hadn't seen your most recent post....honest. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dylan_61 Posted June 28, 2005 Share Posted June 28, 2005 Here's my top ten people deserving of a slap and a potential slapping implement 1) Ant (of Ant and Dec fame):- slap each of his eyes with paintballs to recreate the scene from Byker Grove 2) Zionists settlers:- hear them wail whilst their being slapped with the falling rubble from a falling West Wall 3) Robbie Williams:- Slap him with a syringe filled with the Ebola virus. 4) Linda Barker:- Slap her with a hijacked, fuel laden Jumbo Jet 5) Ashley Cole:- slap him with two Super Trams both coming towards him on the same track 6) Dec (of Ant and Dec fame):- Develop time travel, send him back 60 million years and slap him with the meteor that wiped out the dinosaurs 7) The lead singer of the Darkness:- Slap him with the radioactive fall out from Chernobyl Ian McCartney:- Slap him after he's sat down for his sixth fry up of the day, that should give the 'heart attack waiting to happen' what's coming to him 9) Tony Bliar:- Slap him with justice for the thousands of lives he's ended in Iraq 10) Graham Norton:- Slap him with a ten foot metal carrot that happens to look like a willy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
feargal Posted June 28, 2005 Share Posted June 28, 2005 Ah, Timo, where do I start... Top of the list would surely have to be Daniel O'Donnell. He's incredibly sinister with his expressionless face and gentle swaying, luring harmless middle-aged ladies onto the jagged rocks of balladry. He's taken to wearing a leather biker jacket now as well, which just enrages me more. Double 'back-and forth' slapping required there then. Now we've warmed up on D O'D, then lets tackle Coldplay. All of 'em should feel the pain, but particularly that whiney, macrobiotic pip of a frontman. They are deserving of a huge Adrian Edmondson-style windmilling slap (maybe with a frying pan or fire extinguisher), as seen in Bottom. I'm also going to hold Dylan_61's coat while he has a pop at Graham Norton, as I despise that talentless buffoon too. (Norton, I mean, not Dylan!) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain_Scarlet Posted June 28, 2005 Share Posted June 28, 2005 Originally posted by gatecrasher3 Jimmy Carr, what a complete and utter freak show. I were gunna say him... A reet slap face ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joelc Posted June 28, 2005 Share Posted June 28, 2005 Trinny and Suzanna, I mean come on, look at what you wear before you criticise others. *slapped with a frying pan* Joel Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
citygirl Posted June 28, 2005 Share Posted June 28, 2005 Terry Wogan and Vanessa Feltz. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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