Who has the most slappable face in entertainment?

[PeteMorris]

It has to be Eimon Holmes....By a very long mile!...lol

[rainbow2411]

I thought it was time to resurrect this one, I miss Timo and Lord Chaverly their wit and fun helped to make this forum so enjoyable.

 

I nominate that insufferable, self important know it all David Dimbleby, the quintessential lying politician Ed Balls, was there ever a more apt surname and last but not least Gordon Brown who seems to have found a second wind, god help us all.

[Guest sibon]

Farage, by a mile.

 

He is an entertainer, not a serious politician after all.

 

Oh. Add Chris Evans and Mike Read to the list.

[cressida]

Simon Cowell

 

Jamie Oliver

 

Russell Brand

 

Alan Sugar

[chem1st]

Katie Hopkins.

 

I'd re-write the Shirley Ellis clapping song and do it in tune to the beat.

 

It's be something like; Slap, slap, slap. Slap. Slap, slap slap, slap. Clap. Slap slap slap slap slap slap slap, right hand slap, left hand slap, back hand slap. Slap slap, come on yeah, slap slap.

[JayLee38]

For me it would have to be Mel B.

In my personal opinion she has no talent and her attitude and voice rubs me up the wrong way.

She looks like a man

 

But this is just my personal opinion

 

P.s On skype to an american friend and he said JUSTIN BIEBER I would also like to add this to my comment and I won't even back it up with a reason

But if anyone works at an airport I would like to suggest they refuse him access to the country on the grounds he may carry EBOLA on top of other infections if you get my drift ;D

Edited October 26, 2014 by JayLee38

[trackrunner]

It has to be Eimon Holmes....By a very long mile!...lol

 

Agree and Philip "I love myself" Schofield

[sandra3dee]

Who would you most like to slap in the face, from the parade of talentless grotesques we are regularly exposed to on television, radio etc? In my case, I would like to don black leather gloves and repeatedly slap the face [Gestapo-style] of Cliff Richard. I would relish administering a thrashing to the unctious visage of the 'Peter Pan of Pop', as revenge for his sickly, oily music ['Mistletoe and Whine' etc], and 'Jump up and down for Jesus' Evangelicalism.

 

Other candidates might include silly little boys like Ant and Dec, the oafish, foul-mouthed Gordon Ramsay and the Corncrake-voiced, mincing Will Young.

Adrian Chiles. I would not stop slapping this ugly man. I have never seen such an ugly man in all my life.

[Jim Hardie]

I wouldn't mind slapping Len Goodman with a pair of partly defrosted Iceland kippers, oh and that other twerp Peter Andre.

[rainbow2411]

Oh I miss Timo, Lord's Snooty and Chaverley, the forum has not been nearly so much fun since they left us, thought you might like a sample of their post

 

 

Who would you most like to slap in the face, from the parade of talentless grotesques we are regularly exposed to on television, radio etc? In my case, I would like to don black leather gloves and repeatedly slap the face [Gestapo-style] of Cliff Richard. I would relish administering a thrashing to the unctious visage of the 'Peter Pan of Pop', as revenge for his sickly, oily music ['Mistletoe and Whine' etc], and 'Jump up and down for Jesus' Evangelicalism.

 

Other candidates might include silly little boys like Ant and Dec, the oafish, foul-mouthed Gordon Ramsay and the Corncrake-voiced, mincing Will Young.

 

As the originator of this thread, I would like to make it clear that when I refer to a 'slap', I do not mean the short, stinging admonishment administered by a lady [of either sex] in anger. I refer to the kind of jaw-breaking blow that might be struck by an Officer of the infamous Japanese Kempei Tei of World War Two. When I write of 'slapping' Cliff Richard, I have in mind the kind of open-handed blow that might impair the hearing of the victim, set their face ablaze with neuralgia for days and cause them to collapse. Is that clear?

 

Now, on with this festival of savagery. Let us revenge ourselves upon the grotesques that plague the media, if only in the imaginary sense. Another candidate for a severe slap- Robbie Williams. I have an urge to leave the room to be sick whenever I see his smug, self-satisfied expression and teenage mannerisms paraded on screen. His voice is no better than a thousand other Karioke 'wanna-be's'. Full praise to Liam Gallagher for his bon mot and astute remark that Williams is 'that fat dancer out of Take That'.

 

I'd like to administer a slap to Alan Twatfarce, with the proviso that he is standing on top of The Old Man Of Hoy, and that I am safely in harness at the end of a rope dangling from a helicopter hovering overhead. The sea needs to be good and choppy, mind, so that he is dashed to pieces on the rocks, just in case the fall doesn't kill him. A little over-the-top, you may think, but when you consider this man titled his autobiography 'Trowel and Error', it starts to make sense....

 

....And just to level things up a bit, I think I'd rather enjoy a slap from Abi Titmuss.

 

Some excellent candidates for a well deserved and vigorous slapping here. My own impromptu list is:

 

Titchmarsh;

Skinner;

Parkinson;

Dawn French;

The red haired gnome from Simply Red (can’t even remember his name);

Llwellyn-Bowen;

Robbie Williams;

Geldof;

Bono;

The Labour cabinet (all of them);

Anna Kournikova (on her rear end and over my knee)

 

PS, I know the thread refers to entertainers, but I think the current Labour cabinet qualifies on the grounds that it is full of jokers

 

I must confess that I cannot decide which end of Davina McCall to slap the hardest, and which would cause most pleasure. I am in the strange position of detesting the woman's overbearing personality, and complete lack of broadcasting ablity and talent, yet finding her rather physically attractive. It would be nice to see both ends brought simultaneously to the boil, so to speak. Does anyone have some sort of BDSM flagellation/spanking equipment available? I am thinking of the kind of devices allegedly employed by certain Vichy policeforces at the time of Nazi occupation. I wouldn't have the foggiest, as I don't frequent the flagellation 'scene'. Someone on here must do, by the law of averages.

 

We could persuade Davina to take part in a 'charity' event, where she would be 'mildly chastised'. This would flatter her enormous vanity, and ensure compliance. Then, we could administer such a walloping as to render her both speechless and deliciously sore.

 

Is this the best thread on Sheffield Forum or what?!