Harleyman Posted January 14, 2012 Share Posted January 14, 2012 My ex explained the mystery of why they come in packs of three, and packs of twelve. The 3-pack is for before you marry... (Friday night, Saturday Night, Sunday morning The 12 pack was for after you married... January, February, March..... That's a good one Our barber used to say to the customers after he finished cutting their hair "A little something for the weekend sir"? I used to think. "What... these married guys only do it at the weekends" ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Draggletail Posted January 14, 2012 Share Posted January 14, 2012 Although the nurse when I renew my pills said last time..."you won't be needing these for much longer will you?" As if having a ring placed on my finger is suddenly going to change my horror at the thought of being pregnant into rivers of gushing broodiness. She obviously knows me well. Not. Anytime after age 32 give or take might be the danger period of 'gushing broodiness' I've seen it happen to more than a few women completely set against childbirth or parenthood Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Draggletail Posted January 14, 2012 Share Posted January 14, 2012 You bought a gross of condoms? Has anyone tried a lambskin condom? I have heard anecdotally that they are much, much better, sensation wise, than latex or polyisoprene. Gaahh, I think a lambskin condom would be far more gross than a gross of latex condoms Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shane39 Posted January 14, 2012 Share Posted January 14, 2012 Never been embarrassed,but if you want to make the till girl look at you in a strange way try this.....On the conveyer belt..1 cucumber, followed by tub of vaseline,next up squirty cream,and then happy 70th birthday card,following closely a box of condoms.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rupert_Baehr Posted January 14, 2012 Share Posted January 14, 2012 I worked in a shop which sold condoms (along with quite a few other things.) Most items were entered automatically into the Price look-up table by the computers at the regional office, but there were mistakes, so the staff at each store could 'amend' the plu. When an item was scanned, the name and the price were shown on a large(ish) screen visible to the customer (and anybody standing nearby.) Somebody (I never found out who) 'amended' the plu wording for a popular brand of condoms. Originally it read 'Trojan' (as if nobody would know what they were. ) The amended description was: 'Condoms - Extra Small.' I gather some of the customers were embarrassed about their purchases on that day. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phanerothyme Posted January 14, 2012 Share Posted January 14, 2012 In the old days, with mechanical tills, when items were entered into the till, the operator needed to know which "button" they were on, so that they could be properly VAT recorded, so there were 3 or 4 buttons for no vat, zero rated and so on. Obviously the cashiers would occasionally get items and they wouldn't know which VAT category it fell in, and would raise the product above there head and ask which "button it would go on". Thus the apocryphal story goes, one young superdrug cashier, upon entering a pack of condoms in (quite unfazed and determined to be grown up about it) realised she did not know what VAT category they fell into, at which point she raised the packet of 3 above her head, and sang in a clarion call: "what do these go on?" about half a second before she realised what she had said. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Plain Talker Posted January 14, 2012 Share Posted January 14, 2012 Gaahh, I think a lambskin condom would be far more gross than a gross of latex condoms The famous Casanova, hundreds of years ago, used lambskin condoms to protect himself against STIs. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shane39 Posted January 14, 2012 Share Posted January 14, 2012 My mate once used a crisp packet on the beach at Cleethorpes. You don't get much classier than that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phanerothyme Posted January 14, 2012 Share Posted January 14, 2012 The famous Casanova, hundreds of years ago, used lambskin condoms to protect himself against STIs. Apparently they are the nearest you can get to a second skin, vastly superior to synthetic alternatives. And reuseable! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shanes teeth Posted January 14, 2012 Share Posted January 14, 2012 My mate once used a crisp packet on the beach at Cleethorpes. You don't get much classier than that. What about a Mars Bar wrapper? (Fun size,of course) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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