Do you like who you are?

[Mrs Overall]

Yes I'm having CBT at the moment, I don't think it's the right thing for me pat, I need to talk to someone about how I feel about having the hysterectomy because I just can't come to terms with it, so far nobody as talked to me about it, all the counsellor wants to do is talk about the future, but its no good is it? not when its the past that's stopping me from moving on.

 

Ive had CBT..twice, once online, once with a counsellor..sp?

It was ok whilst i was having it, and the CPN i saw was lovely, but im back to normal now....i was supposed to change my way of thinking, have more positive thoughts...i could do it for a while, then the bad feelings crept back...

[Dozy]

I bought a joint and cut it up myself into chunks.

My bold

 

Which is pretty much what I felt like doing to you, after I read some of your earlier posts.

 

There's a place for humour in most threads - including this one - but sometimes the type of "humour" used just isn't appropriate. Maybe it's because depression is a sensitive topic with me, but I found some of your posts quite upsetting.

[Mrs Overall]

That's me when the depression hasn't got its claws into me! That's how I want to be all the time, so I keep fighting the bugger as best I can.

 

Some days I win, some days I lose, but I make the most of the good days and enjoy them as much as I can, and try not even think about the bad days.

 

Even the bad days sometimes get better, I tend not to have too much choice about going out, having 2 dogs who insist on walkies, and I find the fresh air and a bit of exercise really do perk me up a bit. Lots of people with depression do find that exercise (whether it's going to a gym or just going out for a walk) can help.

 

If you have a good work-out, it releases endorphins (I think!) into your bloodstream, which lifts your mood. I'm too idle for that amount of effort, but just walking through the woods and round the park, looking at the trees, flowers, etc, and maybe having a chat with other dog walkers, does me fine.

 

The problem is, when you're really down, it's damned hard to find the motivation to do anything, let alone something that requires a lot of physical effort, so it's a bit Catch 22, really. Exercise can help to lift the depression, but the depression stops you having the motivation to exercise.

 

Anti-depressants can be a good way of getting you back on track, when you find the one that suits you. They're not happy pills, you don't take one and suddenly start bouncing round with enthusiasm, they usually take a few weeks to work. They replace the serotonin that is lacking in a lot of depressives' brains, and get you to the stage where you can make more positive steps to help yourself, whether it's via counselling, CBT, exercise or whatever.

 

The depth of your depression can vary, some people are mildly depressed and can work through it themselves, especially if they've had depression before and recognise the symptoms early on. But it can be hard to recognise and acknowledge the depression, even if you've had years of experience!!

 

My present bout of depression stared in 2005, when my partner died suddenly. I've been on anti-depressants since then. It's definitely lifted, I no longer spend most of my time fantasising about suicide or wake up in the mornings and start crying because I didn't die during the night.

 

But it's still there, lurking to catch me out when it can. I can't seem to deal with the least amount of stress or upset without it pouncing on me and dragging me down. I just have to keep battling on, in the hopes that I will finally beat it one day.

 

Sorry you feel like that Dozy, you sound positive though...i had bad post natal depression when my daughter was born 38 yrs ago, some folks wont believe me but its never left me since.....Winston Churchill said his depression was like a big black dog on his shoulder waiting to pounce...

[justanother]

My bold

 

Which is pretty much what I felt like doing to you, after I read some of your earlier posts.

 

There's a place for humour in most threads - including this one - but sometimes the type of "humour" used just isn't appropriate. Maybe it's because depression is a sensitive topic with me, but I found some of your posts quite upsetting.

 

Humour is the great thing, the saving thing. The minute it crops up, all our irritations and resentments slip away and a sunny spirit takes its place.

 

Mark Twain.

 

 

 

[mr_blue_owl]

Random, I know.

 

Iv just got home from work disappointed in myself that once again I have not managed to stick to my diet. My biggest fault, no willpower at all.

 

I don't like who I am. I do nothing but disappoint myself. I can't stick at doing anything despite knowing that 'thing' is for the best.

 

I hate my mood. I'm constantly moaning! I complain about things that don't matter!

 

I hate who I am. I used to be so laid back, a nice person and actually liked who I was. Now, I dont .

 

I hate my figure. But can't find the willpower to stick to a diet.

 

I hate my attitude, but don't know how to change it.

 

I'm not depressed.... I just wish I could be someone different.

 

I know its random. But I just wondered how everyone else views themsleves?

 

Hi Kirsty,

Have a look inside your mind

Take fright at what you see

Yet you must face the truth to find

The key to being free

 

You must cleanse your mind of the mental toxins that have accumulated over the years. Confront your hang ups and preconceived views head-on

Eliminate the bad memories of your past that are festering in the far corners of yiour mind. Banish the guilt complexes; by not allowing them to rise to the surface, they will continue to gnaw away at the very fabric of your inner self

Come take my hand ,and we will walk together down the Avenue of Veracity. But be warned, there will be many obstacles placed in your way and temptations such as Exit signs with arrows saying 'EASY WAY OUT' will be everywhere .The path along the Avenue of Veracity is not easy and leads through unmapped territory, but you will not get lost if you follow your heart. At the end of the Avenue you will enter the Temple of Inner Freedom, purged of the poisonous thoughts that make you want to be someone you are not

You will feel a huge weight has been lifted from your shoulders as you come to realise the person you should be totally honest and truthful with at all times, is yourself. You sound like a very nice person who is presently lacking self esteem

This is not an insurmountable problem

Take care;)

[CHEZZFAYE]

In a word no.

 

Where do I start?

 

I hate the way I look, EVERYTHING about it.

I hate that I have no confidence.

I hate that I am such a sensitive person.

I hate that I let people walk all over me.

I hate the way I put too much pressure on myself at work.

I hate the way I worry too much about what people think of me.

I hate that I am a weak person.

 

I'm sure I will think of some more.

i felt this way from bein about 11 12 yr old maybe even younger. i was told i was suffering from depression, manic depression and even anger problems non of which was right i got no help from drs or counselors they justwanted to medicate and ignore me.

 

at about 19 i decided it had to change i was fed up of having no friends but users because i pushed every1 away including my family so i changed the way my head worked.

 

before i couldnt hold down a friendship, relationship or job. now iv got a small good group of friends, a partner i hve been with for over 4 yrs, a sonand im 17 wk pregnant and iv even had my own company. i sill have bad days but they are now few and far between hope this helps

[Solomon1]

I know its random. But I just wondered how everyone else views themsleves?

 

there is a buddhist saying

 

"The ground of being is unconditional good"

 

in other words....

 

no matter how screwed up your parents made you

 

and no matter if you live in a moany, pessimistic society like britain

you are a good person

 

so be kind to yourself

 

[Dozy]

Humour is the great thing, the saving thing. The minute it crops up, all our irritations and resentments slip away and a sunny spirit takes its place.

 

Mark Twain.

 

 

 

My bold

 

Not when the humour is totally out of place, as yours has been on this thread. It might have been funny to you, but it was hurtful to others.

 

Sometimes we just get it wrong - I did myself a few weeks back and I had to be practically beaten over the head with a big stick before it finally dawned on me that, whether I'd meant to or not, I'd hurt a good friend and owed them an apology.

 

I certainly didn't like myself very much for taking so damn long to realise what I'd done.

[justanother]

My bold

 

Not when the humour is totally out of place, as yours has been on this thread. It might have been funny to you, but it was hurtful to others.

 

Sometimes we just get it wrong - I did myself a few weeks back and I had to be practically beaten over the head with a big stick before it finally dawned on me that, whether I'd meant to or not, I'd hurt a good friend and owed them an apology.

 

I certainly didn't like myself very much for taking so damn long to realise what I'd done.

 

OK. I apologise if some people are oversensetive. There you are, I apologised!

[Dozy]

i felt this way from bein about 11 12 yr old maybe even younger. i was told i was suffering from depression, manic depression and even anger problems non of which was right i got no help from drs or counselors they justwanted to medicate and ignore me.

 

at about 19 i decided it had to change i was fed up of having no friends but users because i pushed every1 away including my family so i changed the way my head worked.

 

before i couldnt hold down a friendship, relationship or job. now iv got a small good group of friends, a partner i hve been with for over 4 yrs, a sonand im 17 wk pregnant and iv even had my own company. i sill have bad days but they are now few and far between hope this helps

 

Well done! I'll bet it was hard for you, but you're a damn good role model for other people who are battling depression, because you've come so far.

 

I found one of the hardest things to accept was the fact that depression would always be there, lurking, and that there was no magic cure for it. Some people only every have one bout of depression, then they're fine, but I know I'm prone to it and will have to live with that fact.