Sir_Nigel Posted March 12, 2010 Share Posted March 12, 2010 I’m expressing my thanks to Armitage Shanks Standing there a-gleaming in serried white ranks What would we do in a world without you Do it out the window? with a warning Halloo? ‘Sorry Mrs Ware, didn’t see you there You’ll find a good conditioner should get it out your hair.’ But we can be discreet thanks to Armitage’s feat No need to thrust your bottom out and do it in the street The world we now see is mercifully free of bottoms looming overhead for everyone to see. It’s wonderful to know there are places you can Go No cries of ‘Mind the Carpet there’ or ‘Look Out Down Below’ No-one has a cause to lean from upper floors and squirt a neighbour’s Scottie dog to thunderous applause or to choose a quiet lot to fertilize a spot Or tiptoe down an alleyway for a surreptitious squat. And rare now is the soul who has to dig a hole so raise a glass to Armitage’s porcelain bowl. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ron Blanco Posted March 12, 2010 Share Posted March 12, 2010 Hilarious! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mantaspook Posted March 13, 2010 Share Posted March 13, 2010 I agree with Ron, very funny. Theoretically the best setting for this poem would be the back of cubicle door, but let's not go there… I'm sure I've read somewhere that Stephen King used to collect examples of washroom graffiti, he used it in one of his stories about a salesman that contemplates committing suicide. EDIT: Just remembered, the story was called All that you love will be carried away. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tallyman Posted March 19, 2010 Share Posted March 19, 2010 Nice poem, Sir Nigel. It's cheered me up on a long Friday afternoon! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shoeshine Posted March 19, 2010 Share Posted March 19, 2010 That's put a smile on my face for this weekend too, Sir_Nigel. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sir_Nigel Posted March 22, 2010 Author Share Posted March 22, 2010 Thankyou. Glad this brought some light relief. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vwkittie Posted March 23, 2010 Share Posted March 23, 2010 I've just randomly come across this and had to say, brilliant! Very funny Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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