Divorced/Separated Parents, access.

[GothicCharm]

I'm watching something called Who needs a dad, it's basically about how dads are coping with trying to see their kids, and I have to be honest there is a woman on there who doesn't need to be treating her ex husband like she is.

 

Basically it got to the day before he was meant to take his kids camping to france and she wouldn't let him take them, she barred his calls and sent him texts saying he was stupid. Also he had to get involved with court just to get his kids for the holiday, he's been waiting 4 years for the holiday cause she hasn't let him have them before.

 

What does everyone here think? Is it important for children to have two parents (obviously there are situations which will mean they don't) and for those parents to get along well or at least be civil?

 

Exactly what rights do fathers get because it seems the courts are mainly on the mother's side.

[Evei]

I actualy felt quite sorry for him, but I guess there was more to the story than was shown.

 

What did strike me was the difference in living conditions between each separted partner (even the ones that were pretty well off) all the men where living in much smaller, much cheaper property so even if they had wanted more access there really was not many places for the children to sleep so it was unpractical.

 

I also felt the women were massively over protective of the children and really clingy to them. For example a missing phone call meant that the father has done it on purpose and that he would have to be spoken to! The children are with their father for goodness sake, they are safe! (unless there was more to it?)

 

I find it strange that a child staying over has to ring their mother at night even though they are only going to be away for less than 24 hours, wonder if they would make them ring if they were going to a mates for a sleepover? The whole clingy thing is werid and not good for children no wonder they stop seeing their fathers as the messages they get sent by some mothers is that it upsets them if they do see them.

[GothicCharm]

I think the call was cause they were going to portugal, I mean if i go anywhere my mum still likes me to call just to say ive arrived safely but I wonder what effect it does have on children being like that, surely they see it even if they don't fully understand it.

[DragonofAna]

We have no real rights. It is fine for a mother to run off with the children but if a bloke does it - abduction. Does not take much for a mother to stop a fathers contact. She just decides to stop contact. End of. I'm not going into it too much but basically - the way the law is handled on this matter stinks.

[GothicCharm]

I know it does. I cant actually see any rights that fathers have that are stronger than the mother..

is that purely because the mother gives birth and carries the child or is there something to suggest women are more capable somewhere? ( not for a minute suggesting they are)

[DragonofAna]

Simply because the mother carries the baby and is the one to give birth. The mother can be psychotic and completely incapable of child care and the father could be a saint - but that does not matter cos he did not give birth to the child.

[GothicCharm]

well there must be a line drawn somewhere though surely?

[DragonofAna]

well there must be a line drawn somewhere though surely?

 

Nope. Not unless the mother gives up the children, and even then she can fight to get them back at a later date and has a million excuses for giving them up in the first place. For a man to give up his kids for a period of time - no matter what the reason - and then attempt to get residency of them - well, there's no point trying really.

[GothicCharm]

..how can you fight for father's rights? is there anything going at the moment? i know there was a fathers union or something a couple of years ago where they dressed up as superheros or something (i dunno its a little memory in a dusty cupboard) if things are as bad as you say then something really needs doing.

 

from the sound of it i'm guessing you've been through this also?

[Bloomdido]

Families need Fathers. I have been through the court process four times and it is seriously inept and damaging.