Divorced/Separated Parents, access.

[Cyclone]

Quite the opposite I’m afraid. People with no experience of the subject are telling people with how they should act and feel. This is the problem, those with no understanding are calling the shots, and this is why we have such a problem.

 

Who's telling anyone how to act or fell? That's the second time you've made that claim.

[Cyclone]

Either be supportive of those going thought what is a immense emotional trauma that many men have found too much and taken their own lives or go away.

 

How about, No.

 

You don't get to decide who is allowed an opinion, even if mine happens to be completely wrong then I'm entitled to it.

Of course if I've made any factual errors and you're such an expert then you'll be able to change my opinion quite easily.

The fact that you aren't bothering and just keep making up this "telling people how to act and feel" nonsense suggests that you just don't like how the situation is (which is all I've described regarding custodial parents and moving house).

[DragonofAna]

It does not really matter whether Cyclone is right or wrong. Being a father who wants contact with his kids but cannot have that contact is tough. There are no laws compelling a female to allow her children to have contact. Basically a woman can take the children and go where ever she wishes and do pretty much what she wants. There are guidelines that suggest what would be in the best interests of the child, but no laws, as Cyclone says, so why should anyone get upset about it. That's the way of the law. Right or wrong - that is how things are and "it's just tough".

 

People like me and Serapis and a few others are involved and greatly affected by the loss of our children, and it seems no matter how hard we try - how much we fight - how upset we get - there is nothing we can do - and "it's just tough".

 

I get up every morning and I look at pictures of my babies whom I am possibly never going to see again. One of my children was taken from me at the age of four. She's going on nine now. There is not a moment I do not think about her. I do not know where she is and I am not allowed any contact at all. But I have photographs of her when she was a baby. But hey ho - it's just tough.

 

My other daughter and son were also taken, and even though I have fought for them I am being denied contact, and there is nowhere to turn and not a great deal that can be done - but it's just tough.

 

You wake up and you see pictures of their smiling faces. You remember playing with their toys with them; reading books to them; holding them when they are going to sleep; comforting them when they are ill; putting up with the sick and the nappies and the crying. And you no longer get to say good night or happy birthday or happy christmas. You don't get to send them cards or hear their laughter. You don't know where they are or if they are happy and well and safe. But hey ho - it's just tough.

 

Well - for some who have not lived with that - the law is the law and there are no rules that say where a person can live, or whether a person can deny another access to their children. There is no law or rules that can stop a woman from doing just about what the hell she likes.

 

And it's not just the fathers who lose out. It's not just the children. It's whole families. It's those empty places at the dinner table at family lunches and so much more.

 

So for people like Cyclone who have no idea whatsoever of the pain and heartache such loss means - yeah - it's just tough. But for some of us - it's wrong. The law needs changing. Rules need to be worked out and imposed. No family should be torn apart and made to suffer.

 

Hey - But It's Just tough.

[Weazel2006]

It does not really matter whether Cyclone is right or wrong. Being a father who wants contact with his kids but cannot have that contact is tough. There are no laws compelling a female to allow her children to have contact. Basically a woman can take the children and go where ever she wishes and do pretty much what she wants. There are guidelines that suggest what would be in the best interests of the child, but no laws, as Cyclone says, so why should anyone get upset about it. That's the way of the law. Right or wrong - that is how things are and "it's just tough".

 

People like me and Serapis and a few others are involved and greatly affected by the loss of our children, and it seems no matter how hard we try - how much we fight - how upset we get - there is nothing we can do - and "it's just tough".

 

I get up every morning and I look at pictures of my babies whom I am possibly never going to see again. One of my children was taken from me at the age of four. She's going on nine now. There is not a moment I do not think about her. I do not know where she is and I am not allowed any contact at all. But I have photographs of her when she was a baby. But hey ho - it's just tough.

 

My other daughter and son were also taken, and even though I have fought for them I am being denied contact, and there is nowhere to turn and not a great deal that can be done - but it's just tough.

 

You wake up and you see pictures of their smiling faces. You remember playing with their toys with them; reading books to them; holding them when they are going to sleep; comforting them when they are ill; putting up with the sick and the nappies and the crying. And you no longer get to say good night or happy birthday or happy christmas. You don't get to send them cards or hear their laughter. You don't know where they are or if they are happy and well and safe. But hey ho - it's just tough.

 

Well - for some who have not lived with that - the law is the law and there are no rules that say where a person can live, or whether a person can deny another access to their children. There is no law or rules that can stop a woman from doing just about what the hell she likes.

 

And it's not just the fathers who lose out. It's not just the children. It's whole families. It's those empty places at the dinner table at family lunches and so much more.

 

So for people like Cyclone who have no idea whatsoever of the pain and heartache such loss means - yeah - it's just tough. But for some of us - it's wrong. The law needs changing. Rules need to be worked out and imposed. No family should be torn apart and made to suffer.

 

Hey - But It's Just tough.

 

Well said DOA

[Cyclone]

How do you change the law to restrict the right of a custodial parent to move where they wish. The freedom to up and move is a fundamental one, it can conflicts with the rights of the other parent to see their children, but it seems obvious to me which of those rights is paramount.

If they've moved far away, and you feel as strongly as you suggest, why not just move close to them again.

BTW - when I said it's just tough, I clearly meant that within the law as it stands there is nothing you can do about it. I happen to agree with that though, it would be wrong if you could force another adult to stay in an area they no longer wished to live in.

[DragonofAna]

How do you change the law to restrict the right of a custodial parent to move where they wish. The freedom to up and move is a fundamental one, it can conflicts with the rights of the other parent to see their children, but it seems obvious to me which of those rights is paramount.

If they've moved far away, and you feel as strongly as you suggest, why not just move close to them again.

BTW - when I said it's just tough, I clearly meant that within the law as it stands there is nothing you can do about it. I happen to agree with that though, it would be wrong if you could force another adult to stay in an area they no longer wished to live in.

 

But it's okay to FORCE a child or children to move to an area they may not want to move to - away from family and friends etc. This is supposed to be about taking into consideration what is best for the children.

 

I really don't even know why I am responding to your posts again. That can be remedied quite easily. Consider yourself ignored.

[Berberis]

How do you change the law to restrict the right of a custodial parent to move where they wish. The freedom to up and move is a fundamental one, it can conflicts with the rights of the other parent to see their children, but it seems obvious to me which of those rights is paramount.

If they've moved far away, and you feel as strongly as you suggest, why not just move close to them again.

BTW - when I said it's just tough, I clearly meant that within the law as it stands there is nothing you can do about it. I happen to agree with that though, it would be wrong if you could force another adult to stay in an area they no longer wished to live in.

 

Cyclone what exactly do you bring to this discussion that the average person on the street could not? What nugget of information do you cherish and wish to share with the rest of us?

[Northrend]

Well my wife has just walked out with my kids about 20 mins ago. I really hope she is true to her word and dosen't stop me seeing my children. She says she won't and I have to trust her on that. She has no reason to...

[CottonTop]

Maybe I missed it somewhere on this thread but do the same visitation rules (or lack thereof) exist for those who are married and later divorce and for those partners who never married?

 

I was married when I had my two children. The law here states that I have to give him access to his children (I wouldn't restrict access anyway but that isn't the point). In fact, I have no family whatsoever where I live and if I wanted to move to another state to be near my sister and take my children with me, I would have to petition the courts. If I just upped stakes and moved, there would be legal proceedings against me to force me to bring them back so their father could have access to them.

 

Unless there are mitigating circumstances, both parents have a right and a duty to be involved in the raising of their children.

[Northrend]

The law here sucks.. So I wish it was as good as there.