Divorced/Separated Parents, access.

[Cyclone]

Did I tell anyone they were stupid? I am sure I commented on what was said.

Did anyone tell you that you were?

To suggest that a mother moves away from family and friends - a point which is steadfastly being ignored - for the benefit of the child(ren) confounds me.

Nobody suggested that, they suggested that a move might not involve all the factors you just listed, it might be the opposite and be moving closer to a support structure, something you steadfastly ignore.

To say that the mother is always right in her actions, or to insinuate this to be the case, is equally confounding.

Nobody ever suggested that, you are the only one who made blanket statements that all mothers (who you focus on exclusively as if fathers never have custody and never do any wrong) should never move away from their ex partners.

 

There are cases where mothers have moved to be closer to relatives and this is understandable. It is clearly obvious in some cases that the sole purpose of such a move has been to make contact very difficult for the father. As I have not researched all instances of family seperations I cannot comment on those cases I am unaware of. This is why I support each case being treated on its own merits.

Except that this 'on it's merits' is something you added only recently, earlier it was a blanket statement.

 

A mother moving from one end of the country to live with her parents at the other end of the country, removing the child from its father; siblings; aunts; uncles and so on does not sound like an action taken in the best interests of the child, regardless of the fact that the child would have its grandparents. What about all the family the child will no longer have contact with? I have no experience of a mother not receiving support from both sides of the family - both her own and the ex's. In the hope of maintaining contact and with thoughts of the child the families I know of attempt to help the individuals and do not take sides. I can only speak through my own experiences and those of friends on this.

Why? Are you incapable of imaging other scenarios?

I know there are other times when there may be only enmity between ex's and in laws, but my lack of knowledge concerning these limits what I feel able to comment about them.

Maybe this is the problem, you don't seem to be able to generalise at all, to think about situations you haven't yet experienced. This leaves you trying to develop policy based on a small subset of possible scenarios.

 

It has been mentioned time and again that I have not responded to certain questions asked. Well I sometimes do not see those questions as being relevant, or do not see the point in offering an opinion which will be ripped apart because of my lack of knowledge concerning the particular question.

You're suggesting changing the law, you have to explain how it would work or this is all meaningless hot air.

 

I agree with you that there are instances where it is best for a parent to move.

Good. We've got somewhere. Sometimes it's best, and I already agreed that sometimes it is not.

 

Now is there a way that a law could identify the difference?

 

Even if there is, can you morally justify a law that restricts the right of an adult to live where they like on the basis that it might (not will) be slightly detrimental to the child?

I am only commenting on those cases where I know the child's best interests are not evident. I can only assume and guess at the things I have no experience or real knowledge about.

 

If that makes me stupid and my arguments or statements inferior then so be it. I say it as I see it. That one particular person seems set on ripping apart everything I post will not put me off saying my piece, regardless of whether that person thinks me an imbecile or not. That the same person does not speak through experience or knowledge on the topic seems besides the point.

 

Hope that answers all your questions.

I have no interest in ripping apart your posts, I just enjoy debating these issues. Don't take it personally if I don't find your arguments convincing or well thought out.

[FallenAngel6]

Did anyone tell you that you were?

Nobody suggested that, they suggested that a move might not involve all the factors you just listed, it might be the opposite and be moving closer to a support structure, something you steadfastly ignore.

Nobody ever suggested that, you are the only one who made blanket statements that all mothers (who you focus on exclusively as if fathers never have custody and never do any wrong) should never move away from their ex partners.

Except that this 'on it's merits' is something you added only recently, earlier it was a blanket statement.

Why? Are you incapable of imaging other scenarios?

Maybe this is the problem, you don't seem to be able to generalise at all, to think about situations you haven't yet experienced. This leaves you trying to develop policy based on a small subset of possible scenarios.

You're suggesting changing the law, you have to explain how it would work or this is all meaningless hot air.

Good. We've got somewhere. Sometimes it's best, and I already agreed that sometimes it is not.

 

Now is there a way that a law could identify the difference?

 

Even if there is, can you morally justify a law that restricts the right of an adult to live where they like on the basis that it might (not will) be slightly detrimental to the child?

I have no interest in ripping apart your posts, I just enjoy debating these issues. Don't take it personally if I don't find your arguments convincing or well thought out.

 

Im sure any number of parents would give a limb to change the law if it meant being able to see there children

 

How is the law going to identify anything when they're too stuck into the old fashioned ways???

 

I wouldnt blame him taking it personaly, its clear he knows what hes talking about and has or might have been in the situation people seem to take so lightly.

[DragonofAna]

Well in that case Cyclone - I think ALL your posts except the one liners are ill thought out and far from convincing.

I have already decided that you do not know half as much as you want people to think you know.

 

Tell me of any of your personal experience with anything on this topic. I do not mean detail. I mean - have you gone through seperation and contact problems? Have you lost half your family? Are you the child of a single parent? Are you a man/woman who has experience to support your imagination? This is a question you have been asked several times now and still refuse to answer.

 

Fair enough - you are now on ignore - regardless of your comments.

[Weazel2006]

I have no interest in ripping apart your posts, I just enjoy debating these issues. Don't take it personally if I don't find your arguments convincing or well thought out.

 

In every post he has ever made in which you are part of the thread you do nothing but rip apart his posts. Now fair enough if he is being an arse i can and do let him know about it, but you seem to be out to argue ANY point he makes at all times, you go out of your way to take the apposing view.

 

95% of your posts hold no relevance to what is being talked about.

 

Women have far too many rights when it comes to their children period, and i know of a few i would like to smack up side the head in an effort to see sense for their children. Tell me where it is right to use the excuse they are closer to family...specially when they have grown up with a family for whatever period of time the parents were together....the child will know those people are missing and the new FAMILY will be new strangers to deal with.

 

Now how about you grow a pair and stop attacking dragon purely on his opinion?

[scoop]

In every post he has ever made in which you are part of the thread you do nothing but rip apart his posts. Now fair enough if he is being an arse i can and do let him know about it, but you seem to be out to argue ANY point he makes at all times, you go out of your way to take the apposing view.

 

95% of your posts hold no relevance to what is being talked about.

 

Women have far too many rights when it comes to their children period, and i know of a few i would like to smack up side the head in an effort to see sense for their children. Tell me where it is right to use the excuse they are closer to family...specially when they have grown up with a family for whatever period of time the parents were together....the child will know those people are missing and the new FAMILY will be new strangers to deal with.

 

Now how about you grow a pair and stop attacking dragon purely on his opinion?

 

I have regularly had very strong disagreements with Cyclone and think he/she can be a complete arse alot of the time. But I think you're wrong on this occasion.

 

Cyclones posts have been very reasonable and objective, where as Dragons have been quite the oppisite, nothing more than subjective rantings for the most part.

[FallenAngel6]

I think you need to read the topic again...DoAs posts have been quite on topic - or are you on a different thread???

[Weazel2006]

I have regularly had very strong disagreements with Cyclone and think he/she can be a complete arse alot of the time. But I think you're wrong on this occasion.

 

Cyclones posts have been very reasonable and objective, where as Dragons have been quite the oppisite, nothing more than subjective rantings for the most part.

 

He is debating dragon more than the issue at hand snoop, that was my point, seems more like an agenda than a debate on the issue. Im sure if both could keep to the point at hand rather than dive into personal digs then it would work out better.

[scoop]

On topic yes. Objective, no.

[DragonofAna]

I have regularly had very strong disagreements with Cyclone and think he/she can be a complete arse alot of the time. But I think you're wrong on this occasion.

 

Cyclones posts have been very reasonable and objective, where as Dragons have been quite the oppisite, nothing more than subjective rantings for the most part.

 

Nothing to do with the fact that Cyclone supports your point of view completely.

 

Whatever!

 

The point is that families are being ripped apart by mothers who use the children as a weapon and move with the sole intent of making contact difficult. This happens more frequently than fathers moving their children away for the same reasons to the best of my knowledge.

[FallenAngel6]

There are some people on this thread speaking of what they have experienced in one form or another and then there are ones speaking from no experience just to be right or get the upper hand...which ones are you and Cyclone???