At what age can you explain death to a child without freaking them out?

[anniec]

TeaFan never mentioned in his original post how old TeaFan Jr is. That would be relevant to how one might answer the question. However, here is what I can share from personal experience. I was 9 years old the first time I experienced a death I can remember. Others seemed to think I wouldn't understand the finality of death, but I most certainly did. Now my oldest lost her Nonnie (my mother) a few months after her 4th birthday. I explained that her Nonnie had died and gone to heaven to live with the angels because that was my belief at the time. She accepted that we all die at some point but seems not to be worried about when that might happen to her father or to me. My youngest is 4 1/2 now and asks a lot about what being dead is but I leave out the heaven stuff. I've told her it is like the person goes to sleep and never wakes up.

 

My eldest also calles my mum nonnie, I've no idea where she got it from as we always introduced them as grannie but she's now 12 and still calls her nonnie. Weird. I only commented on this as I've never heard of another nonnie before (nonna yes but not nonnie)

 

My auntie (she raised me and was like my mother) commited suicide last year and I had to tell both children something. My eldest who was 11 at the time tolerated, your auntie has passed away, it's very sad and we will miss her greatly. My youngest was 18 months and therefore didn't know about anything, however, we have a photo up of my aunt and my mum in our house and the youngest talks to her annie anne (aunty anne) and asks where she is, I have replied to her with "she's up in the sky, with the angels in heaven" I don't actually believe in heaven but how do you explain to a 2 yr old that the person just ceases to exisist?

[[Matt]]

Given that we often cut through the local cemetery, it's inevitable that at some point TeaFan Jr. is going to ask what all the stones are. When can you explain without them not coping with it?

The best way to inform children about death? Buy them a short lived pet such as a mouse or hamster. Let them see with their own eyes what death actually is and explain that death is simply the concept that "our bodies stop working" without being too gruesome.

[Bozo]

;6100088']The best way to inform children about death? Buy them a short lived pet such as a mouse or hamster.

 

Or encourage them to follow a celebrity who lives a little close to the edge, if you can't find one try Bruce Forsyth instead!

[[Matt]]

Or encourage them to follow a celebrity who lives a little close to the edge, if you can't find one try Bruce Forsyth instead!

...well he does look a bit like a hamster.

[Bozo]

Or encourage them to follow a celebrity who lives a little close to the edge, if you can't find one try Bruce Forsyth instead!

 

or Nick Griffin!

[Garbage]

Best to just be honest and tell them that when you`re dead thats it, you`re nothing but an object ready for disposing of.

 

Balls to all this `You go to heaven and play on a harp` rubbish.

[Bozo]

Best to just be honest and tell them that when you`re dead thats it, you`re nothing but an object ready for disposing of.

 

Balls to all this `You go to heaven and play on a harp` rubbish.

 

I've no objection to telling kids this, but I do believe when telling young children anything like this you tell them it is what you think and explain why. I am not a great believer in telling children there are absolute answers. Firstly because it is important for them to feel they can explore things for themselves and secondly because you don't want to leave them thinking you are closed to discussing a subject and they can't come back and ask you more about it.

[one snowball]

So why not just explain it to them instead of using euphemisms and analogies? Surely they'll understand it better if it's explained properly instead of dancing around the subject.

 

yes maybe for older children but yonger childs brain works differently as they are not able to get a grasp on the harsh reality of life

maybe ppl like you are the reason why kids these days are old before there time and have more problems on there shoulders and more mental health problems than ever before

let a child be a child for god sake there is plenty of time for them to grow up and straighten out there own thoughts on the world but at 3 that is defo not the time to do it

 

i work with children on a day to day basis and through that i have lernt that the best way to get through to children is to come to there level

thats why professionals use things like toys and teddy bears to get children to open up and use stories to provide a child the way to express thereself and if it works so well for them how are you qualified to say that bein blunt to a child about something so big as death is a not damaging for a child

[Tess]

My dog died, and my Grandma got to my youngest brother before we did to explain - without us knowing. We told him that Barney was now the biggest star in the sky and he replied with, "no he isn't, stupid, he's dead, just like grandma's mummy and daddy!"

 

Thanks Grandma..

[EdnaKrabappe]

I think you've just got to be as honest as you can be without being brutal.

 

All the Rainbow bridge, Heaven stuff, unless it's what you believe in yourself, it can really confuse a child especially with images of death they will have seen for themselves on the television and can create some really abstract pictures for them.

 

I think you've just got to be honest and say, honestly, they are at peace now but we won't see them again but we have all the lovely memories of them to think of them by.

This is a good book to help children' Badger's parting gifts.

http://www.healthybooks.org.uk/annotation/422/

 

A funny memory of when i first went back into teaching, i did supply for a class and it was the last half an hour i had to go and cover nursery.

The teacher passed me this book, of which there was a series, of which i was vaguely familar with

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Frog-Birdsong-Max-Velthuijs/dp/0862649080

I started reading it, and then realised it was actually about the bird being dead. There was no happy ending and the moral of the tale was - s*** happens kids!Oh dear, did they not like the supply teacher that day!