Advice needed regarding having a baby by a sperm donor

[titchbec]

Hi

 

My partner and i (female gay couple) have decided its time to start a family. A good friend of ours would like to be the doner. Has anybody ever done this through the hospital, whats the process, how long does it take and how much roughly is this going to cost?? Any information anyone has would be great.

 

Thanks!!

[*Peaches*]

If you contact the hospital, they should be able to send you out an information pack, good luck x

[Berberis]

If, and it does happen, you and your partner split up. The person who maintains care for the child will then be forced to give the name and address of the "father" and he will be hounded by the CSA or whoever they are now to pay from the child's birth.

 

This does happen. Unfortunately some people see £ signs when the CSA pour honey in their ears over this. I would get some good legal advice before going down this path.

 

Good luck.

[GordonBennet]

Hi

 

My partner and i (female gay couple) have decided its time to start a family. A good friend of ours would like to be the doner. Has anybody ever done this through the hospital, whats the process, how long does it take and how much roughly is this going to cost?? Any information anyone has would be great.

 

Thanks!!

 

 

Why get the hospital involved? Just come to some financial arrangement with the man and get him to bring his sample and turkey baster over when he's ready. Or you could just have sex with him if that would be easier.

[heavenlyarts]

If it's done via hospital they would want an annonymous doner who would be protected from financial claims.

 

DIY, or friend donor leaves the DONOR open to financial claims due to parentage.

[danot]

If, and it does happen, you and your partner split up. The person who maintains care for the child will then be forced to give the name and address of the "father" and he will be hounded by the CSA or whoever they are now to pay from the child's birth.

 

This does happen. Unfortunately some people see £ signs when the CSA pour honey in their ears over this. I would get some good legal advice before going down this path.

 

Good luck.

Assuming that they did split up, and the "father" was hounded by the CSA. Who'd wear the super hero costume... the father or the ex partner?

[GordonBennet]

Assuming that they did split up, and the "father" was hounded by the CSA. Who'd wear the super hero costume... the father or the ex partner?

 

Perhaps this is why it's morally dubious for same sex partners to have children in this way. Parents should always put the child first and not pass them around as if they were a personal possession or something.

[Berberis]

Assuming that they did split up, and the "father" was hounded by the CSA. Who'd wear the super hero costume... the father or the ex partner?

 

I think in many cases the CSA think they are dressed like Robin Hood, but unfortunately they act more like the Sheriff of Nottingham.

[JanP]

Perhaps this is why it's morally dubious for same sex partners to have children in this way. Parents should always put the child first and not pass them around as if they were a personal possession or something.

 

 

Yes things can go wrong with this sort of arrangement - but surely heterosexual couples can get into all sorts of difficulties over child care, maintenance and parenting roles when they split up if they aren't careful.

[JanP]

titchbec - presumably you don't know any women who have parented through this route? I know of a few women who have children (or have tried to have children) this way but they are in my age group or older (and generally off the scene). I'm well off the scene now and wouldn't really know where to suggest other than maybe try looking in Shout (it is on the web - don't know if you can still get it in newspaper form) as there is a regular contact in there for a gay parenting group. I guess they may have some information or even personal experience to share?