purplepippa Posted October 22, 2003 Share Posted October 22, 2003 I'm not interested in what people look like at all. What makes a person into someone I want to be friends with is who they are, not what physical characteristics they display. If someone is (according to societal standards) beautiful and then is in a mangling car accident with scars all over their face and no eyes then they are still the same person. If you were in love with them before then surely unless very superficial you will still be in love with them afterwards. If someone is (again according to the societal standards of the day) ugly then all that means is that the features on their face aren't set out in a standard way. What on earth difference does this make to anything?? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fnkysknky Posted October 22, 2003 Share Posted October 22, 2003 I'd love to say it doesn't matter but if someone looks like they've been chasing parked cars then I wouldn't usually go up to them in a club/pub etc. It can be different though if there's a 3rd party involved e.g. a mate of a mate because someone else breaks the ice... Confidence is the key though (well for men anyway) - as long as you are confident in yourself you'll do great Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hiyabeing Posted October 22, 2003 Share Posted October 22, 2003 Well I'm a girl and I agree with you. In fact, when my mates say 'ooohh isn't he good looking' ... i don't undesrtand what they mean'. Someone might not be ugly, but no emotion attached in my head unless got a bit more to base it on!!! (Including how you talk, walk, interact etc etc) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jethro Posted October 22, 2003 Share Posted October 22, 2003 So, what your saying is that there is hope for me! Thats good at least. Well, apart from me having no confidence. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tinajones Posted October 22, 2003 Share Posted October 22, 2003 Originally posted by Jethro So, what your saying is that there is hope for me! Thats good at least. Well, apart from me having no confidence. what about a little dutch courage? - have a unit of alcohol before approaching someone? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jethro Posted October 22, 2003 Share Posted October 22, 2003 Alcahol - i dont really drink much. And even if i did, how would it help? Besides, i never get out, which is also a problem. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xtro Posted October 22, 2003 Share Posted October 22, 2003 Originally posted by Jethro So, what your saying is that there is hope for me! Thats good at least. Well, apart from me having no confidence. I have friends who have problems talking to women. Fortunately I have no problem talking to women full stop. I'll tell you what I tell them if thats ok... Don't treat women as some mystery object or sex toy. They're just human beings, talk to them as you would anyone. Be polite and friendly and don't think "oh my god its a woman!!111". Don't go up to someone with the intention of "pulling" (which is something I detest). Just talk! If you like them but its not happening then you've had a good chat and made a new friend. Forget any rubbish about chat up lines or anything like that just be yourself. I'm lucky, I have a lot of close personal female friends so its probably a lot easier for me. Anyway I hope I didn't seem patronising or anything like that and this helps. I wasn't singling you out as in need for help by the way LOL, just stating a few personal thoughts out loud Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jethro Posted October 22, 2003 Share Posted October 22, 2003 Thanks, i need help! I need all the help i gan get! Im nearly 20 and ive only ever had one girlfriend, and i met her on the internet so it wasnt as if i actually went out to meet people and chatted her up like most normal teenagers. We did however live together for a year, but recently split up which is partly why im lonely and depressed. Well, i still think im a lost cause. lol. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xtro Posted October 22, 2003 Share Posted October 22, 2003 Its natural to be down after a break up mate as we all know. I wish I was nearly 20 again LOL, had a great time at your age Well you've got youth on your side, don't go writing yourself off just yet! If you think you don't get out enough then that's the first thing to change. Gym, evening classes, that kind of thing are good to build your self-confidence up and get out more. Don't do things with the sole purpose of meeting someone though, do them for YOU and have fun. If you meet someone whilst improving your social life then its a bargain. As for not drinking, thats a plus in my book. Rather than a pub or club the best way to meet someone worth talking to and holding down a decent conversation is through friends. I got over my ex by getting down to the gym and taking up karate first, then did a bit of travelling. Improved myself mentally and physically - and all for ME Good luck mate - why don't you come down to the next forum meet by the way? Make some new friends and have a pint (or diet coke . All the best Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jethro Posted October 22, 2003 Share Posted October 22, 2003 Well, the problem isnt so much that ive recently broken up, its more the fact that ive none of the normal 'getting out and meeting people' skills that most (well all) people have my the time their my age. >>I wish I was nearly 20 again LOL, had a great time at your age<< Thats my point, everyone does, apart form me who is having a crap time! Anyway, I could come to the next forum meet, but its scary just going somewhere where there are loads of people i dont know - i dont have the courrage to do that! >>have a pint (or diet coke)<< Yes, diet coke, as im fat as well as ugly, lol. Its true actually, but im trying to diet a bit. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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