millhouses24 Posted April 21, 2010 Author Share Posted April 21, 2010 Abstain from sex for life, its the most effective way, 100% natural and it doesn't cost a thing. Ha ha. Not prepared to give that up yet, I keep trying to but there are too many handsome young men out there. Is a career that important. Why be wealthy if you have nobody to pass on your fortune to? I suppose you could pass it onto nephews and nieces. A career might be more about being fulfilled and feeling satisfied than being wealthy. And what's wrong with aspiring to a good standard of living for just yourself anyway? I don't want a lot of money, but even if I did why would that be wrong? I would be paying a lot more tax and using a lot less public services than if I had a child. I respect other people wanting to having children, I just don't want them myself. Plus I 100% stick by my point that for youngish men and women (not those actually planning on a family) taking care with contraception should be a priority. Given the standard of family planning services in this country, there is no reason for ANYONE to have an unwanted pregnancy. Problem? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chem1st Posted April 21, 2010 Share Posted April 21, 2010 Your choice is your choice, but if I were you, I wouldn't rush into it. Just imagine if you changed your mind after it were done.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
millhouses24 Posted April 21, 2010 Author Share Posted April 21, 2010 Your choice is your choice, but if I were you, I wouldn't rush into it. Just imagine if you changed your mind after it were done.. Just for the record, do you normally quiz people who are planning to have children on whether they are sufficiently financially and emotionally stable to raise a child? Not having a personal go at you or anything - I just find it rather interesting that given how many children are unwanted or brought up in horrible environments, someone who doesn't want children is questioned on their decision. It is a decision that affects only me, after all. IMO, it's a whole lot kinder not having a child than having one and giving it a bad upbringing. Surely society should place more emphasis on whether the people who are planning to have them would make suitable parents? I'm happy to live with my own decisions and curse my own mistakes, but in general, surely it's a much better situation for a person to regret NOT having kids than regret having them. That's all Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lockjaw Posted April 21, 2010 Share Posted April 21, 2010 Hi Millhouses. Just for info, no judgement of you or your opinions... I'm male. At 25 I was fairly sure I didn't want kids. At 30 I knew I didn't want kids. No amount of being told by male associates: "man, it's changed my life" was ever going to alter my opinion. At 33 my three year old marriage ended, largely because I didn't want kids (yeah, we should have talked about it before we got married...) from 33 to around 37 I rejoiced in the fact I didn't have kids. At 40 I had my first one and, at 43, my second. I was right at every stage. HTH Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
medusa Posted April 21, 2010 Share Posted April 21, 2010 Further to your comment about PMS Millhouses. Unfortunately the only thing that will truly stop your PMS is to have your ovaries removed because that's nothing to do with your endometrium and all to do with hormones released by your ovaries. Removing your ovaries without a serious medical reason to do so would be considered medical malpractice because of the huge number of medical problems which can be caused by this, from osteoporosis to a huge increase in the risk of heart problems later on in life. You are very unlikely to find anyone who would consider removing your ovaries just for PMS reasons. I've had my ovaries removed and went through the monster menopause that comes along with having your hormone level going from normal to nil in one day- it lasted 6 years and I'm still having occasional hot flushes 8 years down the line. My ovaries were too diseased to leave in situ when I had my hysterectomy due to endometriosis, but even for me, with a hormone mediated tumour, they would not have considered removing them unless it was necessary. The most effective treatment for most people with PMS is taking the progesterone only contraceptive pill, which has the added bonus of being a very effective contraceptive. Would this knowledge make you more or less likely to discuss this option with your doctor? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gothic_Angel Posted April 22, 2010 Share Posted April 22, 2010 I'm not sure if I'm allowed to mention this, but.....there's a child-free by choice section on ivillage. Basically a board where women who have chosen not to have children post about this and that. That might be a good place to go as some of them have taken medical steps to make certain they do not accidentally fall pregnant. A friend of mine had a procedure done for painful periods which was not sterilisation, but was contra-indicated for anybody who wished to have children in the future (she's already popped a couple out ) but I forget the name of it. I'll try and remember and add it on for you. Perhaps that might be more what you need for the pain thing. Then perhaps a few forms of contraception to prevent pregnancy (say pill + coil + condom to prevent any nasties) until you are a bit older. From what I've heard medical professionals do not take women your age that seriously when they ask to be sterilised. Just a thought anyway... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
llamatron Posted April 22, 2010 Share Posted April 22, 2010 I'm not in a relationship, but if I was to get involved with someone I'd want to present the "no kids" thing as a fait accompli so they would know exactly what they were getting and know there would be no option to negotiate. The Pill isn't permanent. I REALLY hate the whole "oh I've met someone I quite fancy should I go on it?" dilemma. And I don't like having to remember to take a tablet every day. I would love to know that my decision not to have kids is very obviously permanent as I am in a long term relationship, I told my boyf literally from day 1 that I didn't want kids and he says he accepts that but at the back of my mind I always wonder whether he expects me to change my mind. It would be good if I could tell him I can't have them. 25 is young and you might change your mind but I decided at 10 and Im now 29, there is still time, but Im getting nearer and nearer to the time when people stop saying "you will change your mind" and I can't wait. I would much rather see the world, have lots of pets, and stop a line of more humans being made:D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grandad.Malky Posted April 22, 2010 Share Posted April 22, 2010 See where you are coming from (I'm a whole 25 actually now ) but this is a decision I'm very comfortable with. You might be comfortable with the decision now but what about the future, personally I cant see a doctor sterilising someone so young, my wife had it done years after our second was born but she also had counselling a lecture from the doctor and then a cooling of period before anything happened, as for the scars she as one in her belly button and one in the pubic hair region both are small and inconspicuous. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
smog Posted April 22, 2010 Share Posted April 22, 2010 No, that's great, thanks and thanks to PT as well for her experience. I just found out about endometrial ablation today - Google is the patients friend. The thing with my periods (hope this will frighten all the blokes off at this point ) is they AREN'T worse than anyone elses really. It's just that I see absolutely no reason why I should have to suffer PMT for the next twenty years if there is a way of getting rid of it. This last weekend I felt really out of sorts and was in tears for some very bizarre reasons. This is NOT something I want to continue. If I could pay a few grand to get my breasts enlarged, which would arguably be of no practical benefit, then why can't I do the same to solve something that does impact on my life in quite a negative way? I was on a progesterone only pill which stopped my periods completely. I haven't had period pains since coming off it, and they are lighter too. Sterlilisation does leave a noticeable scar, especially if you put on weight. Any surgical procedure carries a degree of risk of harm, just as taking the pill carries a risk of becoming pregnant, I know which I'd choose. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
llamatron Posted April 22, 2010 Share Posted April 22, 2010 Is a career that important. Why be wealthy if you have nobody to pass on your fortune to? I suppose you could pass it onto nephews and nieces. The worst reason to have kids ever "but what happens if you get wealthy, where would all that money go" a) I would spend it on me or b) I would give it charity Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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