esme Posted April 30, 2010 Share Posted April 30, 2010 queue tax - anyone in a queue is required to pay 1p per minute they are in the queue, special ankle metres will monitor proximity to other ankle meters and movement via GPS and inertial guidance, if you aren't moving much and you are close to another meter or a yellow line you are deemed to be queueing and the meter starts counting the payment office is again in the town hall next to the eyesight office, only has one teller and the queue to pay starts at the yellow line Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sccsux Posted April 30, 2010 Share Posted April 30, 2010 Is that why people used to call it '' road fund licence '' ? Dunno, but the renewal forms sent out by DVLA state road tax on the top of them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
slimsid2000 Posted April 30, 2010 Share Posted April 30, 2010 A new cat stroking levy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
biotechpete Posted April 30, 2010 Share Posted April 30, 2010 A stupid tax, levied on people not able to spell, add up or get 5 A-C GCSEs. A tax on voting for Labour. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Waltheof Posted April 30, 2010 Share Posted April 30, 2010 A tax on the misuse of apostrophes, as frequently observed on shop signs etc. One tax rate for where they are improperly omitted, double for when improperly inserted (which is more common) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
purdyamos Posted April 30, 2010 Share Posted April 30, 2010 A tax on the misuse of apostrophes, as frequently observed on shop signs etc. One tax rate for where they are improperly omitted, double for when improperly inserted (which is more common) Damn! I was just about to type an apostrophe tax. OK, we can have a Capital Tax, for those who Write Like This. or for those who do that instead. But most of all for those who call themselves 'i'. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
taxman Posted April 30, 2010 Share Posted April 30, 2010 These are all excellent ideas that I'm looking forward to including in the next staff suggestion scheme. Keep 'em coming! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rivelin6 Posted April 30, 2010 Share Posted April 30, 2010 Toilet roll tax. The more sheets you use the more you pay. Special loo rolls will be installed that will count the sheets used. People using Izal will get a rebate. Well Taxman will be bankrupt in a week then. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
millhouses24 Posted April 30, 2010 Share Posted April 30, 2010 Single Man Tax Was discussing interior design yesterday and the talk moved to how single blokes always have bloody odd things in their homes as well as getting into bad habits when left to themselves. I remember finding one of those "table football" things in a perfectly normal looking man's bedroom (civil servant, incidentally ). Someone I knew had a picture of Wayne Rooney above his bed. Thirty year old doctor. Nice . So I think single men shouldn't be allowed to live on their own, and the money they would be paying on rent/mortgage will go to the Treasury. The men will be put into something like boarding school dormitories where they can be punished for whatever bad habits they have that made them single in the first place. They can only move out and stop paying the Single Man Tax when they have earned the love of a good woman. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
taxman Posted April 30, 2010 Share Posted April 30, 2010 Single Man Tax Was discussing interior design yesterday and the talk moved to how single blokes always have bloody odd things in their homes as well as getting into bad habits when left to themselves. I remember finding one of those "table football" things in a perfectly normal looking man's bedroom (civil servant, incidentally ). Someone I knew had a picture of Wayne Rooney above his bed. Thirty year old doctor. Nice . So I think single men shouldn't be allowed to live on their own, and the money they would be paying on rent/mortgage will go to the Treasury. The men will be put into something like boarding school dormitories where they can be punished for whatever bad habits they have that made them single in the first place. They can only move out and stop paying the Single Man Tax when they have earned the love of a good woman. If you are going to take down my Rooney pictures then I'd prefer to pay the tax and be single! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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