J's Mum Posted May 9, 2010 Share Posted May 9, 2010 Ive reached a little bit or a crossroads in my life, I'm married with no children of my own but still young enough to have my own. Ive a pretty good career financially but not challenging enough. Although im married, myself and my husband are very independant people and to a certain extent lead seperate lives as far as our goals and outlook on life are concearned this is due to an age gap of 15yrs ( he's older) My best friend is getting married next year and her releationship is very different to mine in the way that once she is married she will be the 'wife' and also have girlie weekends. But they do have a closer releationship than myself and my husband and want the same things in life. Im looking into starting my own business as a way of gaining a more challenging and financially rewarding career, Having a child of my own is also at the forefront of my mind as im heading towards the big 40 and i dont want to be starting a family in my 40's. My husband and i have been together for nearly 12 yrs although married less than a year. Our releationship works and will continue to as our releationship works better this way. We started out as the traditional couple but found that we were different and decided that having our own lives aswell as being together was the way we worked best. I dont mean by having our own lives that we have an open releationship in anyway so please do not take it that way. We are a couple in every sense of the word in everyway other than our goals and ambitions. I think im at a bit of a crossroads or even mid life crisis and im trying to make sense of what i should do and which direction to take. I feel that a new career would be beneficial as this has obvious benefits. Do i have a child? i dont know, ive always wanted a child of my own and if i didnt have one then my life would continue as it is now. I know that having a child makes a big change to your life but if i was working for myself or my business was underway i can then have the best of both worlds. Spend time with my child/children without losing myself in to the world of mum completely. Am i blowing this all out of proportion? I feel like im in the middle of a whirlwind and i dont know how to get out of this. Am i just bored and need something to do? Has anyone else felt like this? Any advice or comments? Thanks for reading Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alien Posted May 9, 2010 Share Posted May 9, 2010 The fact you're asking advice from here says a lot. Have you discussed this with your partner? Seems like you have a very mature relationship IMO. There are not many who allow each other so much space for all sorts of complicated or insecure reasons. How you feel regarding wanting a child, only the other women on here can answer that..from a maternal perspective that is. You seriously need to talk to your partner if you value your relationship. On the other hand, do you fear your husband in any way? Something just doesn't seem to gel considering you're running to a website. No disrespect. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
*Peaches* Posted May 9, 2010 Share Posted May 9, 2010 Could your financial situation be clouding your thoughts? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
harvey19 Posted May 9, 2010 Share Posted May 9, 2010 I think at 40ish many people question what life has to offer in the future and should they make changes. There is only one person who can decide what you want to keep and what you want to change. You ! It is your decision, other people base their decisions on their experiences, opportunities and perceptions. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Strix Posted May 9, 2010 Share Posted May 9, 2010 Do i have a child? i dont know' date=' ive always wanted a child of my own ...[/quote']I'd take a lopng hard look at that sentence and consider my position if I were in your shoes... You have an established dynamic/relationship with your husband, and you'll find that a child will heavily impact upon this, even if you think you have a completely independent life Supposing you have a difficult pregnancy/birth/child - is your husband happy to support you (emotionally/financially) if need be? I just don't think this is a decision to take alone *typing with 8 week old baby asleep on one arm* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HayleyJayne Posted May 9, 2010 Share Posted May 9, 2010 Ive reached a little bit or a crossroads in my life, I'm married with no children of my own but still young enough to have my own. Ive a pretty good career financially but not challenging enough. Although im married, myself and my husband are very independant people and to a certain extent lead seperate lives as far as our goals and outlook on life are concearned this is due to an age gap of 15yrs ( he's older) My best friend is getting married next year and her releationship is very different to mine in the way that once she is married she will be the 'wife' and also have girlie weekends. But they do have a closer releationship than myself and my husband and want the same things in life. Im looking into starting my own business as a way of gaining a more challenging and financially rewarding career, Having a child of my own is also at the forefront of my mind as im heading towards the big 40 and i dont want to be starting a family in my 40's. My husband and i have been together for nearly 12 yrs although married less than a year. Our releationship works and will continue to as our releationship works better this way. We started out as the traditional couple but found that we were different and decided that having our own lives aswell as being together was the way we worked best. I dont mean by having our own lives that we have an open releationship in anyway so please do not take it that way. We are a couple in every sense of the word in everyway other than our goals and ambitions. I think im at a bit of a crossroads or even mid life crisis and im trying to make sense of what i should do and which direction to take. I feel that a new career would be beneficial as this has obvious benefits. Do i have a child? i dont know, ive always wanted a child of my own and if i didnt have one then my life would continue as it is now. I know that having a child makes a big change to your life but if i was working for myself or my business was underway i can then have the best of both worlds. Spend time with my child/children without losing myself in to the world of mum completely. Am i blowing this all out of proportion? I feel like im in the middle of a whirlwind and i dont know how to get out of this. Am i just bored and need something to do? Has anyone else felt like this? Any advice or comments? Thanks for reading My advice would be to write down the pros's and cons for each... then think and follow your heart! If you give it time you will make the right decision... if you dont need to make a decision straight away... dont! Good luck x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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