What should i do

[shazatko]

my daughter was living with her bf at his moms he had a big row with his parents and they kicked them out so there at mine she works 12 hrs a day 5 days a week he is a layabout he takes her to work and we dont see him till he picks her up at teatime, she borrowed money to buy the car he drives she pays that back every week she pays the insurance on it too she doesnt drive her reason she cant afford it he moans at her for working all day, i told her he shud go back to his mummies and she shud stay and make him get a job so they can save for a deposit on a house they have been at mine for 4 weeks now and she has given me 20 towards gas and electric they eat with us and i do the washing with ours they use everything that is here. he smokes 20 fags a day that she buys and weed too he gives us some balony about getting it free off his mates i dont smoke but i no my mates wouldnt put up wiv me on the cadge. so he aint getting nowt for free, only a roof at mine but what can i say or do that wont hurt my daughter he is walking all over her she has no money left for herself he borrows money off people and she has to pay it back. she is nearly 20 and hes a 5 yr old in a 19 yr and a cery spoilt only child he hasnt worked since last sept hes been living off his mommy and daddy yet i feel my daughter is just a chore to him as he spends all day at his parents house til he picks her up from work i no he is taking the **** out on all of us i dont want to loose my daughter over this skip rat.

[dink]

Get him kicked into touch! lazy sod, your daughter would be better off without him.

[Rioja]

Are you sure you are talking about your daughter's bloke? Seems very much like this thread you posted about your bloke.

[rubydazzler]

phew! I'm out of breath now ... can I offer you a few punctuation marks and the odd paragraph?

 

What do you feel in your heart is the best thing to do? I don't think anyone can really advise you what to do in the circumstances. If he had a big row with the parents, how come he can spend all day there now?

 

Maybe you could be really pleasant on the surface but constantly drop little bits of hidden criticism into the convo, so that she starts to look at him with your eyes?

 

I hope whatever you do works out for the best.

 

ETA:

Are you sure you are talking about your daughter's bloke? Seems very much like this thread you posted about your bloke.

like mother, like daughter? She's learned from you obviously.

[alchresearch]

Sounds like someone I know. Is he called Richard?

[shazatko]

not my bloke i dont do snything for him anymore he has his snap before he comes to mine and he does all his own stuff himself he read my add on here lol and i dont give a monkeys about punctuation , her previous fella was alot older and would do anything for her but she cheated on him with this prick she takes after her dad i told her so, he fell out with his mum after he stole from her just before xmas and then it blew over and things were fine again then summat else went off his mum drinks alot apparently, they have plenty of money thats why he has gone back with his tail beneath him my girl dont want to go back but he cant do without the money thats why hes there allday,

[katy1981]

your not gonna like this advice at all but my own mother did it to me and it worked it took a while but it worked.

 

firstly tell your daughter how you feel about him and how you see him treating her. she will NOT LISTEN but do it anyway.

 

tell her you want him too leave and go back to his parents but she is welcome to stay at yours with you. she WONT STAY SHE WILL GO WITH HIM but do it anyway.

 

she will probably move out with him to wherever they can she will probably be angry with you for this but just hang in there she will end up coming home in the end anyway we always do lol!

 

at the end of the day its been too easy for them both she is putting up with this from him because she loves him its that simple he does it because he can its that simple.

 

let them behave like this in the "real" world with bills etc etc and they will get a sharp shock! so far they have had the safety net of parents.

 

your either gonna have to deal with it and tell em how you feel and show him the door or im afraid your stuck with the situation. your daughter just loves him so she wont see sense im afraid just yet she has too see it for herself but you can never know when that will be but just be ready for her to turn up on your door step heart broken.

[EmilyM]

I would kick him out. He might persuade her to quit her job to spend more time with him, or worse she could fall pregnant.

I wouldn't like to have him living in my house if he is a thief and has stolen from his own mother.

[happylady]

As a parent of a 23 and 21 year old I would never try and tell them what to do but at the same time while I love them dearly I wouldn't let my home be somewhere for a boy/girlfriend to doss.

 

If I were you I'd have a word with your daughter, voice your concerns about her boyfriend and leave her to decide whether she wants to have a waster for her other half but at the same time I'd explain that even if she's prepared to put up with it you aren't and that while she's always welcome to live at your house he isn't and that you want him to leave.

 

It will be hard on you but even if she chooses to go with him rest assured that one day she will see the light and just make sure that she goes off knowing that she can always come back

[Jonny5]

Not a good way for your daughter to live her life. By allowing the boyfriend under your roof you aren't doing her any favours.

 

The fact that you are posting on here indicates that you know the situation is not ideal. Time to do something about it.