Is having Kids Necessary.

[DUFFEMS]

From the outside it looks terminally dull, and from observation it certainly does rob you of time, money and the inclination to do anything.

 

It certainly can be all those things but, nothing good comes easily. I have no regrets about being a parent, I've enjoyed every minute probably because I did it with a person I love so our children were born out of that love.

Not everyone has such a good partnership relationship and I understand that too.

 

Now our children are married I've never asked them to have children to make me a grandparent, that would be so selfish, it's their life and their choice.

 

I admire people such as Cyclone for being a responsible person, no-one should feel under pressure from anyone to fill the world with unwanted children.

[Lady Star]

Most definately. Mum was in three homes before we found the right one for her needs. I doubt some official would have been bothered.

 

But...to answer the original question....No it isn't necessary if that's your choice, but the benefits in later years outweighs all the aggro of teenage years. I love seeing the grandkids and watching their development, none of which would happen if we'd taken the selfish option of putting "us" first.

 

I find it interesting that many people still believe that people don't have children out of some kind of selfishness? I have always been confused by this, as surely having kids that you are not interested in is far more selfish? I have known far too many people who have kids simply because 'that is what you do' when they had not considered the fact they were not interested in kids... It's also pretty selfish to believe that someone your body created would bend over backwards for you in your old age - they are a totally independent person and may not get along with you as they get older, share your values or even live in the same country as you... It's a great thing when adult kids get along well with their elderly parents, but this is not the experience of everyone for many and varied reasons, and it's not always the parents fault that their relationship has broken down...

 

I personally don't have kids as I don't have any feelings towards them, even ones within my family - I know that I would not have wanted a father who wasn't interested, and have seen far too many relatives of mine who had kids without thinking and rarely see them or think about them... Not nice, and far more selfish than I myself could ever be...

 

It might be that the OPs life is so packed with other interests kids simply could not fit in, but it might also be that he just isnt interested in kids and knows that it's not really fair to land a kid with a dad like that...

[DUFFEMS]

I find it interesting that many people still believe that people don't have children out of some kind of selfishness? I have always been confused by this, as surely having kids that you are not interested in is far more selfish? I have known far too many people who have kids simply because 'that is what you do' when they had not considered the fact they were not interested in kids... It's also pretty selfish to believe that someone your body created would bend over backwards for you in your old age - they are a totally independent person and may not get along with you as they get older, share your values or even live in the same country as you... It's a great thing when adult kids get along well with their elderly parents, but this is not the experience of everyone for many and varied reasons, and it's not always the parents fault that their relationship has broken down...

 

I personally don't have kids as I don't have any feelings towards them, even ones within my family - I know that I would not have wanted a father who wasn't interested, and have seen far too many relatives of mine who had kids without thinking and rarely see them or think about them... Not nice, and far more selfish than I myself could ever be...

 

It might be that the OPs life is so packed with other interests kids simply could not fit in, but it might also be that he just isnt interested in kids and knows that it's not really fair to land a kid with a dad like that...

 

Well said Lady Star! I have great admiration for anyone who sticks with their beliefs.

Don't ever feel pressured into having a child because it's a natural progression once you're in a relationship.

Being a parent is more than being biologically capable of producing a child.

[katy1981]

the question was -

 

In the modern world is having kids really necessary , after all dont they create more problems than they are worth ?

not is it right or wrong for someone to choose to not have children.

 

in terms of keeping our species going then yes id say its necessary.

 

and in terms of over population and what have you then id say maybe slowing down our current rate of breeding may be a good idea but how an earth would that be worked out i have no idea!

 

in my opinion anyone who doesnt want children for what ever reason and someone who thinks they should have them because they are expected too probably shouldnt have them untill they are ready and actually want them.

 

if you have children when you know for a fact you dont want them or because you feel you have to is sellfish! to make the decision to not have them is a selfless one.