How does this marketing blurb sound to you?

[Waldo]

It's for a description, of a game I'm about to release on the AppStore. Mostly, it's the first few lines, that will get read and are more important..

 

So if you can let me know how it sounds to you, and what would you change? Thanks..

 

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*INTRO BARGAIN SALE* .. get it NOW at 1/2 price!

 

It’s all about the game-play...

 

Warning: DANGEROUSLY ADDICTIVE. Qwak is THE MOST PLAYABLE PLATFORM GAME on the App Store! A classic Amiga platform game, highly regarded for it’s fast-paced, addictive game-play. Now re-envisioned for your iPhone or iPod touch, by the games’ original author. A must have!

 

Touch Arcade called it HIGHLY POLISHED ... a game platformer fans won’t want to miss.

 

You simply MUST give this little gem of a game a whirl.

 

 

 

FEATURES:

 

Glassy, silky-smooth, 60 fps action.

Beautiful graphics you can almost eat!

Secret bonuses.

10 in-game tunes.

70 levels, split across 6 different worlds.

Oh, and insanely addictive game-play, that will test your NINJA SKILLS to the limit!

[alchresearch]

I'd put the bit about it being a classic Amiga platform at the top of the blurb.

 

I began to switch off when you said "DANGEROUSLY ADDICTIVE" and "THE MOST PLAYABLE PLATFORM GAME"

[millhouses24]

It's hard to judge based on just the text.

 

From an advertising perspective, might be handy to know your:

 

1. target market

 

2. who the competitors are, and what the competitors say for their products?

 

3. what the USP is if there is one.

[Waldo]

Thanks for sharing your opinions (keep em coming people)..

 

I kinda agree with you alchresearch; and unless you put it in to the context of the App Store, the type of comments in the blurb are clearly brash and too full-on.

 

I had a look at a few other top selling games on the App Store, just to get some ideas from their descriptions etc. Doodle Jump is I think the #2 or #3 paid game on the store, and it makes the most BOLD claims about itself. So I'm not sure that the kind of blurb I did there, is out of place on the App Store.

 

Not that I know of couse, and different people could react in different ways; which is why I'm asking for feedback and opinions.