steelblade Posted October 23, 2003 Share Posted October 23, 2003 Is e-mail a curse or a blessing? I'm asking this because about 10 minutes ago my boyfriend of 7 whole, hard blo0dy work years, forwarded me an e-mail that he really shouldn't have. The stupid good for nothing had forgot to delete all the sexual comments he has being making our mutual male friend about one of our mutual female "friends". These two friends work together. I put her in inverted commas because I don't like her, never have, she's loose for want of a better word. I feel absolutly gutted. I'm sat here at work trying not to puke or burst into tears. In the space of ten minutes my world has been shattered. This morning I woke up in a secure (I thought) committed 7 year relationship with the view to buying our own home soon, we do live together at the moment in a rented property etc...sorry If I'm rambling, I'm shaking and have nobody to talk to. I can't believe he could have done this to me and I also can't believe my male friend has been egging him on and taking part in a "my friend likes you" type of thing. God I'm so angry I want to get up from my desk go into town where they work, rip her head off, smash my male "friends" face in and then go and run my boyfriend over, reversing over him repeatedly. help. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Agent Dan Posted October 23, 2003 Share Posted October 23, 2003 Calm down, first. It may be more innocent than it seems, as he may not have been seriously considering anything. Without seeing the email I can't judge, I'm afraid, and I have no real desire to see something that has caused so much stress. You'll have to talk to him about it, but beware of losing control of your emotions, because if he IS innocent, then that would make you the one "jumping to conclusions" (from his point of view). It is worth noting that blokes make stupid comments about girls all the time, regardless of whether they mean them, and I would be surprised if you had never commented to a girly mate about a bloke at some point. Email is a little more solid evidence though, as it implies more thought has gone into it... I hope you are wrong, for your sake, as you sound terribly upset, but cannot offer any more explanation without more info... (HUGS) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
max Posted October 23, 2003 Share Posted October 23, 2003 I'm sorry to hear that you're having problems in your relationship. The only words of comfort that I can offer is that sometimes we men talk out of our 4rses when it comes to sex. What comments your boyfiend exchanges with your other friend probably bear no relation to how he feels. It's similar to peacocks spreading their tails or dogs peeing on trees, just a symbol to show male strength or bonding depending on the circumstances. I'd just put it down to male immaturity, if I were you. Wait 'til you get home and then make him feel extremely small. Good luck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
steelblade Posted October 23, 2003 Author Share Posted October 23, 2003 Thanks Dan. The gist of it is, I work at another job 1 night a week and it seems whilst I've been working my backside off he has been arranging to meet with our male friend and his girlfriend and this girl/slapper of the highest order. My boyfriend repeatedly asks in the email has Freda* said anything about me? The male friend replies yeah she said she thinks your beautiful and really really likes you. My boyfriend than goes onto say does she want F***ing? to which the male friend replies, yeah mate looks that way. My male "friend" says things like, I suppose I better not mention to Doris (thats me) about us all going to the pub. Boyfriend says its just banter, I don't believe it. A few weeks ago in the pub, I caught the pair of them looking at eachother in a wierd smug/flirty sort of way, I put it down to my paranoia and the fact I was drunk. But I was worried about the way they play fight and stuff, it seemed to me to be too much, again I thought come on Doris you're being stupid. Obviously not. I am so upset words can't describe how ill I feel. I don't know what to do. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mikey Posted October 23, 2003 Share Posted October 23, 2003 Stay strong and confront him in tonight. Then decide if you dump him or not. Why would he send you the email? mistake I guess Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
steelblade Posted October 23, 2003 Author Share Posted October 23, 2003 Basically I wanted to know If my male friend was meeting me tonight, so boyfriend emails him, friend replies, boyfriend forwards the emial to me, not realising that all the emails they have sent to eachother over so many weeks are still listed on there. Stupid fool. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Agent Dan Posted October 23, 2003 Share Posted October 23, 2003 That does sound kinda serious... I've not been in a situation where I've been cheated on but I have caught someone thinking of doing it... Have you spoken to your bf yet? I'd still suggest calming down before confronting him, so that you retain control of the situation. You'll have to show him the email, but don't jump in with acusations without more evidence... and as for your male 'friend' then he is obviously not your friend at all! I reckon if you sit him down and explain it all calmly, you've not only got the best chance of getting truth out of him, but also of unerving him (as all men expect girls to be emotional and 'fly off the handle' when things go wrong) - which will also work in your favour. Deal with it today though, otherwise you'll just feel ten times worse later on... Have you any girly mates who could give their opinions? (and I'm not talking about revenge...) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
steelblade Posted October 23, 2003 Author Share Posted October 23, 2003 The main girls I'm friends with are friends with this girl. It feels like they have all been laughing at me. Having read through the mail again, it has now become quite clear that bf and this girl have been mailing eachother. I am in shock, I can't quite believe it yet there it is in black and white staring me in the face. I'm afriad I've already gone mad, I e-mailed him back after the incident with a few chioce words. He then called me, obviously he's sweating, and I basically did one, I've told him to come hom tonight get his stuff a eff off. He wants to talk to me, I said what for? so you can worm your way out of it, feed me some bu11**** which I'll fall for because I don't want to lose the person I've invested 7 whole years of my life to. Sorry I have to stop writing now, Im starting to cry and I can't not here at work. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Agent Dan Posted October 23, 2003 Share Posted October 23, 2003 PM me if you need anything... let me know how it goes...? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
halevan Posted October 23, 2003 Share Posted October 23, 2003 Originally posted by steelblade Thanks Dan. The gist of it is, I work at another job 1 night a week and it seems whilst I've been working my backside off he has been arranging to meet with our male friend and his girlfriend and this girl/slapper of the highest order. My boyfriend repeatedly asks in the email has Freda* said anything about me? The male friend replies yeah she said she thinks your beautiful and really really likes you. My boyfriend than goes onto say does she want F***ing? to which the male friend replies, yeah mate looks that way. My male "friend" says things like, I suppose I better not mention to Doris (thats me) about us all going to the pub. Boyfriend says its just banter, I don't believe it. A few weeks ago in the pub, I caught the pair of them looking at eachother in a wierd smug/flirty sort of way, I put it down to my paranoia and the fact I was drunk. But I was worried about the way they play fight and stuff, it seemed to me to be too much, again I thought come on Doris you're being stupid. Obviously not. I am so upset words can't describe how ill I feel. I don't know what to do. Think about it! those 'e' mails were no mistake, it was done deliberately, to let you know how he really feels. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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