HayleyJayne Posted May 25, 2010 Share Posted May 25, 2010 I've always considered myself to have a good group of friends and in turn, an active social life. I'm in my mid-twenties and lately, it just feels like things are going through a bit of a lull. Some friends of mine have started having children and/or getting married or just becoming a lot more settled with their partners. I love my boyfriend to bits and we live together but we're not ready to take any further steps, which is fine, but I just feel a bit lost at the moment without many friends to just go to the cinema with, go for tea with, that kind of thing. I don't want to badger my bf to do stuff with me all the time as I worry he'll get sick of seeing me all the time. My job has become very stale and so it doesn't keep me busy on the evenings when I have nothing else planned, not that I particularly want a job that eats into a lot of my social time but it doesn't help this 'lost' feeling that I have. It doesn't help that I'm just rubbish at kicking about the house if I've got nothing planned and just watching TV on my own, I like to be doing things! This all sounds very trivial but it's really getting me down now - I feel almost panicked about evenings or days at the weekend when I have nothing planned and get all teary about it, which my boyfriend bears the brunt of most of the time and then that leads to the guilt that I'm making things worse between us. Some other people just seem good at spending quite a bit of time on their own, what's the trick to that?! I don't think I'm making things easy for myself by feeling like I've got to be out and about, doing things all the time for my life to seem worthwhile. I'm having a lull too... sadly I realised that my friends were not as nice as I thought, gave them a few chances and in the end I shut the door on them so I feel like I only have a handful of friends. I am not the easiest person to get to know either which doesnt help... As to spending time on your own I excercise, read, do some writing, listen to music and just do nothing - watch a bit of telly if its something I like, go for a walk, go shopping... there's lots of stuff... I was brought up like and only child so its easy for me but I can admit that after a busy few months and work and Uni the first few days of freedom are hard! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
epiphany Posted May 25, 2010 Share Posted May 25, 2010 Odd/weird people are so much more interesting than "ordinary" people It's just meeting someone on the same wavelength that's the difficult part. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hotthing Posted May 25, 2010 Author Share Posted May 25, 2010 Maybe those of us who are looking to re-invigorate our social lives should all do something social together! Is someone going to mention the SF meets now? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Treatment Posted May 26, 2010 Share Posted May 26, 2010 My social life is non existant, unless you call looking down a glass a social life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eastbank Posted May 26, 2010 Share Posted May 26, 2010 you only borrow your parking spot on this earth for a very short time....so my motto is live for today.... just had a good weekend with the lads in nottingham in newcastle this satdy blackpool next week brighton the weekend after..... might get time in the week to visit the boozer off to the dogs tomorrow to watch our greyhound run cannot think of the last time i spent the weekend at home.....mind you i do drive our mini bus....well no point in coming home with the price of diesel...might as well spend it on beer...once the bus is safely parked friday evening.....love my job...:hihi: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cressida Posted May 26, 2010 Share Posted May 26, 2010 I thought Sheffield forum members enjoyed a night out - perhaps you could go along Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DragonofAna Posted May 26, 2010 Share Posted May 26, 2010 I don't like socialising much and only do it a few times a year! Am happy spending nearly all my time with my partner (we share all our hobbies) and the rest of the time just pottering about by myself I always think I should make friends but I never feel like I fit in anywhere for some reason. I've never met another female I could relate to that's for sure. None of them seem to share my interests. I feel odd in comparison to everyone else... I could have written this word for word... You'd be surprised how many people feel like this, it's just they never let it be known to others. I bet it's your "oddness" that your partner loves about you as well How come i never end up with females like you lot? The ones I end up with are all into the party socialising scene and complained about being 'stuck indoors' even though they only stuck themselves in - none of my doing. So - is there a hidey place you types hang out? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CLWalsh Posted May 26, 2010 Share Posted May 26, 2010 Hi there I'm in a similar situation, although I live in Manchester (I work in Sheffield, hence being on this forum). Volunteering is a great way to fill your time and meet other people, so you could have a look at that. Personally I've done stuff with Citizens Advice Bureau, Adult Education, Barnardo's and conservation stuff with BTCV. There are loads of things you can do, depending on what you're interested in... you could get involved with backstage theatre work, sports coaching, marketing stuff for renewable energy charities, social activities for people with disabilities, helping stewarding at music festivals... the list goes on and on! I only moved to Manchester a few months ago and felt pretty lost, what with my bf being the only person there I knew. Volunteering with Barnardo's has enabled me to make friends with my adult mentee and also with all my fellow mentors as we get together every few weeks for a catch-up. So I'd definitely recommend it to you! Check out http://www.do-it.org for some ideas (you put in your postcode and it will come up with all sorts of things in your local area). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CLWalsh Posted May 26, 2010 Share Posted May 26, 2010 P.S. For one off volunteering events, check out http://www.sheffieldqualitytime.wordpress.com and click 'Events' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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