bigmistake Posted May 28, 2010 Author Share Posted May 28, 2010 Update: I've decided that I AM going to tell her the truth tonight. Thanks for all the replies so far. They are really helping me to come to terms with the aweful situation i've managed to create I'm really not sure how she will deal with it? I know she loves me but this will be the biggest thing I've ever done wrong and the first crisis we've experienced. She worries deeply about unpaid bills and will likely get angry but then upset. The crying and letting her down is the main reason why I haven't been able to tell her, even when I know I should have. I think she's gonnabe really hurt by the little things, like ironing my work shirts, which I've been wearing everyday ..but not for work. Where we go from here i'm not sure. I'm hoping and praying that once she calms down she maybe able to forgive me and then be strong enough to help us sort ourselves out. I'm be more than happy to do agency work or any type of work to get money coming in. In the past I was always very successful at interviews and job applications but now my confidence is being chipped away. I have butterflies in my stomach tied into a big knot. Not sure if I should write her a letter, show her this forum or just look her in the eye and tell her the truth. This is without doubt the most difficult day of my life so thanks for your support so far. K Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DaFoot Posted May 28, 2010 Share Posted May 28, 2010 If you can tell her face to face, I'd suggest that would be preferable. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
*Peaches* Posted May 28, 2010 Share Posted May 28, 2010 The sooner you tell her the better. If there are children involved, I suggest you sk someone to watch them while you tell her, its not fair on them to be in the middle of it all when you tell her. Good luck for tonight, like someone else said, print this thread and if you can't find the words, just give it to her. x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BettyBooHoo! Posted May 28, 2010 Share Posted May 28, 2010 Oh dear, what an awful situation to be in. First thing; you have to tell your wife, just tell her as you told us in your opening post - be honest. If it was my Husband, I wouldn't be mad that he'd quit his job, just upset that he felt he couldn't tell me straight away. After the initial shock of the situation, I'd then get to work on trying to sort things out before loosing the house became a real possibility. I'm sure that your wife will not be best pleased of course but if she loves you as you love her, together you'll work through this and in many years to come, might even look back and laugh about it. I really wish you the very best of luck with this & i'm sure that you & wife will sort this out together. XXX Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kthebean Posted May 28, 2010 Share Posted May 28, 2010 Perhaps you could put together some kind of plan of how you can get out of the mess. At least then you can tell her some practical things you are doing to try and help. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bigmistake Posted May 28, 2010 Author Share Posted May 28, 2010 Perhaps you could put together some kind of plan of how you can get out of the mess. At least then you can tell her some practical things you are doing to try and help. Thats a good idea and exactly what I'm doing trying to do now even though its difficult to concentrate. I want her to know that I understand how i've messed up but hopefully how we can fix it. We'll need to do this together though I guess and if she has a new plan then fine. I'll do anything not to lose her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
peak-polly Posted May 28, 2010 Share Posted May 28, 2010 Having never been in your situation, i dont consider myself able to give you advice, but i wanted to send my best wishes to you...things WILL get better. Good luck! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LitleMermaid Posted May 28, 2010 Share Posted May 28, 2010 Thats a good idea and exactly what I'm doing trying to do now even though its difficult to concentrate. I want her to know that I understand how i've messed up but hopefully how we can fix it. We'll need to do this together though I guess and if she has a new plan then fine. I'll do anything not to lose her. Oh bless you. Yes you've made a mistake, but things like this can be worked through, especially when you've got someone you love by your side. Trying to put myself in your wife's shoes I can tell you, if it was me, I'd be screaming and crying for the first half an hour, ranting and raving and hurt that you didn't feel you could tell me. Eventually I would calm down though and support and help you out of this mess. I'm sure given a little time your wife will be the support you so badly need. Expecting her not to be angry (probably because she is scared) at first would be unrealistic, but you will get through this and probably emerge stronger at the other side. Good luck, I really hope tonight goes as well as it possibly can. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alien Posted May 28, 2010 Share Posted May 28, 2010 Seems like you have your work cut out with the wife..ironically your financial problems will be dwarfed in comparison by the lack of trust you've given your wife if she find out through a 3rd party.. As HN and others have suggested...keep the hell away from further borrowing because I'm assuming that you think all will turn out ok to eventually make the repayments...well sadly that's what got you into the mess in the first place...confidence. Be a good partner, firstly by involving your wife. Once you've done that the load will be reduced by 90%. Good luck. PS. Expect a damn good verbal kicking...she deserves it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MONKEYMAMU Posted May 28, 2010 Share Posted May 28, 2010 http://www.government-debt-advice.org/ http://www.ivillage.co.uk/money/debt/budgeting/articles/0,,598227_626903,00.html Check these out....infact, print out the second one, it'll show you've researched (as I'm sure you have already done) how to get out of this situation. As everyone's said, we're all behind you 100%. This will make your relationship stronger on the other side of this horrible situation. GOOD LUCK! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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