Paedophiles in the family

[carly83]

Very difficult when it's ingrained into us from an early age that blood is thicker than water

 

parts of my family are seriously messed up so i came to the conclusion that bloods thicker than water so it sinks faster when mixed, whilst waters always on top! for me most of my family have shrunk and dissapeared in times of need but a handful of very dear friends have always proven there worth

[Suffragette1]

Family dynamics are very strange and complex. Some people disown family members for the most innocuous of reasons and others seem to close ranks when some of the awful situations shared on this thread arise.

 

My guess would be that in the majority of cases where abuse of a sibling/child has happened by a family member, there is a strong possibility that where the confidante is in denial it is either because they suspected/knew or were themselves abused by the same person or someone else. To acknowledge the magnitude of such situations is sometimes too much to cope with as they will feel a sense of culpability or collusion and consequently an overwhelming sense of guilt (if they knew/suspected) or admission entails them having to confront their own abuse. Some times denial is the best (and by that I do not mean the right) form of self preservation, even if it is at the expense of someone else.

 

What Purdy says is true, most children and young people who are being abused fear the break up of their families which is why they don't report it.

[HeadingNorth]

My guess would be that in the majority of cases where abuse of a sibling/child has happened by a family member, there is a strong possibility that where the confidante is in denial it is either because they suspected/knew or were themselves abused by the same person or someone else. To admit the magnitude of such situations is sometimes too much to cope with ...

 

 

Very probably true. There's another possibility in the case of a parent refusing to accept that their child is an abuser; having to face the awful truth that they have brought such a monster into the world. That can break people, and sometimes the outraged denial comes because they simply cannot face it, or do not dare to.

 

Then there's yet another possibility, and the ugliest one of them all. Most people who end up abusing others, were abused themselves; sometimes, the person who will deny that X is a paedophile, is the person who was (partly) responsible for making them so, because they abused X when X was a child.

[Suffragette1]

Very probably true. There's another possibility in the case of a parent refusing to accept that their child is an abuser; having to face the awful truth that they have brought such a monster into the world. That can break people, and sometimes the outraged denial comes because they simply cannot face it, or do not dare to.

 

Then there's yet another possibility, and the ugliest one of them all. Most people who end up abusing others, were abused themselves; sometimes, the person who will deny that X is a paedophile, is the person who was (partly) responsible for making them so, because they abused X when X was a child.

 

Indeed - they feel a huge sense of failure at not having spotted it or a feel duped.

 

What people who have been, and continue to be, in this situation should try to understand is that the denial does not reflect on them. There are a variety of reasons why people choose to bury their heads in the sand but never truer words as 'where ignorance is bliss, 'tis folly to be wise' were spoken.

[HeadingNorth]

As to the parents' dilemmas, the worst case I have known was where a sister accused her brother of having abused her as a child.

 

Now regardless of the truth, you're faced with having raised a monster; either a monster who would abuse his own sister, or a monster who would make false allegations of abuse against her own brother. The mother was very nearly broken by it, and took refuge in refusing even to acknowledge the allegations had ever been made.

[Suffragette1]

As to the parents' dilemmas, the worst case I have known was where a sister accused her brother of having abused her as a child.

 

Now regardless of the truth, you're faced with having raised a monster; either a monster who would abuse his own sister, or a monster who would make false allegations of abuse against her own brother. The mother was very nearly broken by it, and took refuge in refusing even to acknowledge the allegations had ever been made.

 

I'm not surprised and have heard of this kind of reaction several times. As you say, you're caught between the Devil and the deep blue sea.

[TheBlueDragon]

I know one woman who got with a registered pedophile when he was released from prison for raping a family member, she lost her kids because she wanted to be with him and are now fighting to get them back.

 

In High Green there are 3 known pedophiles and people have been trying for years to get them evicted but the courts just say as long as people know where they live people are safe. If they are moved to another area then the other people won't know

[Tradescanthia]

Then I suggest you don't associate a member with paedophilia to justify your kicks. Remember the phrase..."<removed> sticks" well it really does.

 

I'll lighten up if you think next time.

 

 

Now...back on track eh!

 

Grow up pratt !!!, no one suggested HeadingNorth was a paedophile.