Young teen age girls getting contraceptives without parents' knowledge

[falpere]

falpere, I can totally understand all the emotions you must be going through right now; powerlessness, anger, worry, frustration, and even betrayal.

 

You're right and a good parent to consider the possibility that your daughter may be being groomed but it isn't the only possibility.

 

Your daughter has given a reason. Judging from your posts, it seems you are less than convinced she is completely telling the truth. But at least your daughter did tell you the truthful reason for the bruising and not just cover it up, as others might have done and she does deserve credit for that.

 

Whislt you're feeling in the grip of your emotions it's not the best time to talk to your daughter. It maybe that you think your wife is the best person to do this, but if you wish to speak to your daughter about this when you're feeling calmer, then you should.

 

As far as I'm aware, I don't think you'll get any joy complaining to the NHS, as I think this is policy, but it might be an idea to talk how you feel through with a professional and they could answer any particular questions you have, of a medical nature, in general terms. I'm sure they won't be prepared to talk about your daughter in specific terms, though.

 

I'd tell my daughter that I would have preferred it if she would have discussed the matter with me first, and that in future, I am always there for her and nothing she can say would phase me or make me love her less. I would tell her why I was upset about it, and the worries and reservations I had, so she would know where I was coming from.

 

I would make sure my daughter knew of any associated risks/side effects of the implant and spell it out very clearly that this will not protect her from STDs including HIV, chlamydia, etc and that reliable barrier contraception is the only effective form of contraception in preventing these, - In fact, I'd probably even get the leaflets for all the STDs and leave them with her to look at in her own time. I'd tell her that she doesn't have to make these decisions on her own. I know that she is becoming a young woman, with a mind of her own, and respect that in the end, it is her body and she will make her own decisions, but all I ask is that she gave me the respect, a parent deserves, by running these things by me, so that I can give my advice and opinion, and help and support, whether she chooses to take that on board, or not. I don't know the titles of what's currently available but there are some fantastic leaflets and booklets - if you are worried she is feeling pressured, the Sheffield Centre for HIV and Sexual Health list one called 'Nobody's Choice but Mine' which you might like to read then choose to pass on to your daughter. If you give them a ring, they will probably be able to tell you where to get hold of it. Also, you could ring your daughter's school nurse for a chat and see what information, leaflets, and support she might be able to offer.

 

Give her a hug and plenty of love. It isn't easy growing up in these times, and try not to take it too personally. x

 

Wonderfull post. Thank you, that helped.

[Suffragette1]

Because you're over-reacting to an absurd degree; because you're being hypocritical by claiming to follow the law and yet ranting and raving because a family planning clinic worker also followed the law; because you're accusing everyone who tries to give you sensible advice of being silly, ignorant, or worse...

 

 

....take your pick, really. You've embarrassed yourself on so many counts.

 

Give the guy a break, he's upset and feeling emotional! Rational reactions don't come into it when people feel this way.

 

I defy any father to tell me he's totally cool with the prospect of his 14 year old daughter becoming a sexual being, she's still his little girl.

[Dozy]

Thank you dozy, that's just what I needed. My wife is dealing with my daughter, I have been told to take a back seat while she does so, and that is exactly what I am doing. I doubt that you can put yourself in my shoes at the moment, and why should you?

 

I'm sorry if the truth hurts, but they do say a slap is the best cure for hysteria.

 

This thread isn't about your daughter at all - it's all about you, and how you're feeling and how awful it is that some people allow her to make decisions for herself.

[Darth Vader]

Wonderfull post. Thank you, that helped.

 

Any time, mate, and good luck.

 

And thanks for the lovely comment, rubydazzler.

[Suffragette1]

Thanks Suffragette1, Don't dread it too much, there are good times as well!

 

No worries. No matter how liberal you are (as I like to think I am and as my husband certainly is), it's very hard applying it to one's children and accepting that they're no longer children in one sense but are in another, and to a parent, always will be.

[falpere]

I'm sorry if the truth hurts, but they do say a slap is the best cure for hysteria.

 

This thread isn't about your daughter at all - it's all about you, and how you're feeling and how awful it is that some people allow her to make decisions for herself.

 

Wise words from someone who obviously isn't a parent. Keep up the good work.

[carly83]

what you need to bear in mind is that just because she has the implant it does not mean shes going to go out having sex the two could be totaly inrelated

 

would you rather she came home with this:

http://www.nottinghamshire.gov.uk/contraceptiveimplant1.jpg

or would you rather one of these!

http://scrapetv.com/News/News%20Pages/Business/images-2/Human-infant-newborn-baby.jpg

 

anti-depressants are often prescribed to people in extream pain despite them not being depressed, just as contraceptives are often prescribed to those who are not sexualy active

[falpere]

A final thought.

 

It seems that many people think that it is perfectly fine for minors to be allowed to undertake surgery without the consent of their parents. In my OP there is a link that shows that children as young as twelve are undergoing this surgery. If everyone agrees that children of this age are mature enough to make this decission, then I will eat humble pie and shut my mouth about caring for our children.

[carly83]

personaly dont know any 12 year olds that would go ahead with out there parents so cant comments there, but at 13 i went on the pill and asked my dad to come along with me, ive a great relationship with him and can ask/tell him anything but my mum on the other hand was so controlling and smothering that i did not tell her anything, i have a 9 year old daughter and would like to think that when she comes of age she could discuss things with me but if not i would take comfort in knowing there was some where she could go to get truthfull and confidential advice and support as theres nothing worse than feeling you have to deal with things alone

[Dozy]

A final thought.

 

It seems that many people think that it is perfectly fine for minors to be allowed to undertake surgery without the consent of their parents. In my OP there is a link that shows that children as young as twelve are undergoing this surgery. If everyone agrees that children of this age are mature enough to make this decission, then I will eat humble pie and shut my mouth about caring for our children.

My bold

 

Since when has an injection been classed as "surgery"????

 

Since the 12 year-old who was given the implant had given birth to a baby at 11, I tend to think that it was a good idea for her to use contraception. Or do you think it would have been better for her to just go on producing babies?