kerry&wayne Posted June 3, 2010 Share Posted June 3, 2010 my husband is away and i suffer with bad depression and had a bad day and ive cut my arm self harming he phones and i say im fine when im not,hes home at weekend and i dont know how or when to tell him what i did do i tell him on the phone or wait till he sees it for himself Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Panthera Posted June 3, 2010 Share Posted June 3, 2010 dont stress yourself out about it, i assume your husband knows you do this sometimes, just leave it till he comes home and explain you had a really stressed day but didnt want to worry him and everything is under control again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pattricia Posted June 3, 2010 Share Posted June 3, 2010 my husband is away and i suffer with bad depression and had a bad day and ive cut my arm self harming he phones and i say im fine when im not,hes home at weekend and i dont know how or when to tell him what i did do i tell him on the phone or wait till he sees it for himself Is this the first time youve done this ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Suffragette1 Posted June 3, 2010 Share Posted June 3, 2010 If you need someone to talk to, you can always phone the Samaritans. They won't give you advice, but they will listen. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kerry&wayne Posted June 3, 2010 Author Share Posted June 3, 2010 Is this the first time youve done this ? ive not done it for a couple of years as im never on my own but since ive been alone ive done it twice, i have family close by but we dont get on due to my past ( i was on heroin for 7 yrs but now 4yrs clean) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MadnBad Posted June 3, 2010 Share Posted June 3, 2010 I used to self harm from depression but i always hid what i'd done and while i occasionally get the urge to do it again i control the urge with the knowledgwe that it does nothing but harm physically and mentally. Now days i fill my life with activity and achievement from running to rock climbing to snowboarding to cycling to learning another language i try to make sure that i feel like i am bettering myself and it is amazing the difference it can make to your state of mind especially the running. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
medusa Posted June 3, 2010 Share Posted June 3, 2010 I think that the first thing you need to do is to stop worrying about telling him. The worry and fretting is pushing the situation to be even more stressful for you, not less. Look at what you HAVEN'T done instead: You haven't used a knife on anybody else. You haven't fallen off the wagon. You haven't done anything else which will harm anyone else. You haven't cheated on him. This is a product of stress so how about being gentle with yourself and trying not to compound it all by making your stress even worse. Your husband loves you and he'll love you whether you cut yourself or not. He may worry about you and he'll probably be a bit annoyed with you that when he asks you how you are you don't tell him honestly, but I'm sure that he will understand that you were trying not to make him worry when he can't help you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kerry&wayne Posted June 3, 2010 Author Share Posted June 3, 2010 dont stress yourself out about it, i assume your husband knows you do this sometimes, just leave it till he comes home and explain you had a really stressed day but didnt want to worry him and everything is under control again. good advice i might just do that i think it will be better me talking to him in person. thanks Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HeadingNorth Posted June 3, 2010 Share Posted June 3, 2010 You may find it easier to have someone other than your husband to talk to: not that I advocate keeping secrets from him, but if you can talk it out with an impartial, but sympathetic, listener first, you may be in a much better frame of mind to discuss it with your husband afterwards. This method seems to work for my wife, anyway. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
redrobbo Posted June 3, 2010 Share Posted June 3, 2010 I think that the first thing you need to do is to stop worrying about telling him. The worry and fretting is pushing the situation to be even more stressful for you, not less. Look at what you HAVEN'T done instead: You haven't used a knife on anybody else. You haven't fallen off the wagon. You haven't done anything else which will harm anyone else. You haven't cheated on him. This is a product of stress so how about being gentle with yourself and trying not to compound it all by making your stress even worse. Your husband loves you and he'll love you whether you cut yourself or not. He may worry about you and he'll probably be a bit annoyed with you that when he asks you how you are you don't tell him honestly, but I'm sure that he will understand that you were trying not to make him worry when he can't help you. Self harming is usually a result of low self-esteem. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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