How shall i tell him what ive done

[medusa]

Self harming is usually a result of low self-esteem.

 

The low self esteem is constant though- what makes the difference between a day when it never enters into your mind to harm and a day when it's hard to resist is stress for me.

[redrobbo]

my husband is away and i suffer with bad depression and had a bad day and ive cut my arm self harming he phones and i say im fine when im not,hes home at weekend and i dont know how or when to tell him what i did do i tell him on the phone or wait till he sees it for himself

 

As he will see the self inflicted injury on your arm - wait until he comes home before you tell him. There's nothing he can do whilst he's away and you'll only cause him anxiety.

 

You both need to talk about what has happened, and why you self-harmed. That's much better done face to face than over the telephone.

 

You should consider whether you need to referral for counselling or psychiatric help. Talk about this with your husband, and if you think it appropriate, make an appointment to see your GP. Your doctor will know where to obtain any counselling/psychiatric help.

 

Self harming can become an addictive process and there is always the risk of causing yourself a serious injury or acquiring a serious infection if cutting yourself.

[carly83]

Self harming is usually a result of low self-esteem.

not quite it can be due to low self esteem but more often than not its a bi product of a mental illness whether it be depression, bipolar, Schizophrenia, borderline personality dissorder

 

stress tends to push the harmer into a negative state therefore leading to cutting to relieve the pressure

[redrobbo]

The low self esteem is constant though- what makes the difference between a day when it never enters into your mind to harm and a day when it's hard to resist is stress for me.

 

It's when low self-esteem reaches a critical point that self-harming can occur. But it is not just the trigger point for cutting oneself that needs to be considered, but also the incredible feeling of release that occurs to someone who self harms - most likely by cutting themselves - as well as the attention they may obtain from the experience.

 

Self harming can be caused by a depressive illness, though not usually. Self harming by someone who has a clinical depression is usually the result of a failed suicide attempt, where the intention is to do away with oneself - but this fails and leaves the person in a state of injury (or self-harm) instead.

 

Cutting oneself is a different form of self-harm. It is in part attention seeking, but the disfigurement of the body (whether temporary or permanent) is usually just a by-product of the experience. A significant attraction of cutting oneself is the experience derived from the physical reaction of the body to the self-inflicted injury, i.e., which brings with it a sense of release. This can become dangerously addictive though and as my earlier post stated, can lead to serious injury or risk of a blood infection.

[Amaranthus]

Self harming is usually a result of low self-esteem.

 

...or desperation, temporary relief of stress/ anger/ frustration... a cry for help. It can also run in families.

[Amaranthus]

my husband is away and i suffer with bad depression and had a bad day and ive cut my arm self harming he phones and i say im fine when im not,hes home at weekend and i dont know how or when to tell him what i did do i tell him on the phone or wait till he sees it for himself

 

I don't think you should tell him over the phone. I worry that if he doesn't react in the way you feel he should, that may only make you feel that much worse. Especially at the moment, when you're obviously feeling very vulnerable.

[natjack]

ive not done it for a couple of years as im never on my own but since ive been alone ive done it twice, i have family close by but we dont get on due to my past ( i was on heroin for 7 yrs but now 4yrs clean)

If you know that he'll be mad about it, have you done it to punish him because he's gone away without you and you're left on your own? You may not realise that you're carrying resentment about it, and think you're doing it for some other reason?

[Strix]

I used to self harm from depression but i always hid what i'd done and while i occasionally get the urge to do it again i control the urge with the knowledgwe that it does nothing but harm physically and mentally.

Now days i fill my life with activity and achievement from running to rock climbing to snowboarding to cycling to learning another language i try to make sure that i feel like i am bettering myself and it is amazing the difference it can make to your state of mind especially the running.

This is the advice I'd give too

 

the endorphins/adrenaline released during exercise give a much better (and longer lasting) high than those released self harming

[hard2miss]

Just ask him to check your posts on Sheffield Forum.

 

Its one hell of a way to try get help putting it on here, Have you thought of Jerramy Kyle show ?

[Amaranthus]

Just ask him to check your posts on Sheffield Forum.

 

Its one hell of a way to try get help putting it on here, Have you thought of Jerramy Kyle show ?

 

Where else should she go to get a variety of different experiences and responses. I'm sure there's people on here who can empathise with her. A lot of people can't talk to family friends about stuff like this.